Title: Hunting in the Hallways
Summery: Faith does a little hunting at school.
Story Classification: Humor
Disclaimer: Neither the author, nor the originator of this universe owns Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG1, or Supernatural
A/N: I based this one shot on a conversation I had the other day with a recruit about the difference between a demolitions expert and someone who was in the artillery core, we may play the same ‘sport’ but we don’t perform the same procedures… Needless to say he didn’t get it.
Beta Note: This story was written by Frogstompinfun in the Dawn Winchester universe with permission from Dragonfan. She will be moving this story to her site as soon as she has access to a computer. Betaed by Dragonfan. ‘indicate thoughts’ “indicate conversation” I just polished this up for her folks!
Faith stalked the demon down the hallway. God she was such an idiot, if Wes or Giles; hell if Wes Giles Dean, Sam or John found out that she had come to school, the birthplace of all things evil for Sunnyhell, without her axe, sword or even a single blessed blade on her they would kill her! ‘Mmmmm Dean… damn focus Faith!’ she berated herself.
She had a dagger in her locker but she couldn’t go back and get it case she lost its trail. She had two stakes in her jacket pocket but they weren’t the right type of weapon for this job, though any weapon was better than being dead if it bought you time as John would say, plus she didn’t want to bring anything to heavy weapon wise to school incase some punk kid got hold of it by accident and did something stupid.
‘There,’ the hell denizen took a left into the janitor’s closet. ‘God how cliché,’ she snuck up to the door quietly, glad the hallway was clear of kids since it was class time and listened carefully. ‘Yep it was defiantly in there’, the one she had been tracking all morning since it had entered the school grounds; marking its movements, waiting for the optional moment to take it out. Plus the one who had summoned it was in there too by the sounds of it. ‘Sweet a double bonus!’ She kicked the door in. It froze in surprise. She had managed to catch them in the act; it was about to hand the scrolls over to its partner in crime. ‘God some people make me sick.’
“Hello there,” she said and grinned. Taking the demon by its jacket front and lifting it off the floor, she slammed it hard enough to stun into the wall. The summoner made to bolt and she pointed a finger at him. “Move and die!” she growled the power of the Slayer slipping into her voice.
“What do you think your doing?” growled the creature.
“Do you know who I am? I am the bane of this school’s evil. I know exactly what you are up to and there is no way you are going to get away with it.” she snarled. Her targets partner in crime began to sniffle pathetically. Faith rolled her eyes.
“You can’t do anything to me! I know people!” said the creature confidently as she tightened her grip on its jacket.
“You think that scares me? I am people.” ‘God I love shaking down the enemy! It gets the blood pumping and my heart singing.’
“I ain’t scared of you bitch.” It blustered, trying to seem all-powerful. She threw it into the other wall, picking it up off the ground again.
“Woops! Sorry, my hand slipped,” she smiled innocently. “Come on; we’re going to visit the Boss-man before I slay you by accident. Apparently you have some talking you need to do before I have to dispose of your body,” She looked at them both as if all she could picture was all the ways that she could kill them and make it look like an accident. They were both starting to look nervous and sweaty now. “Come on.” she said to the summoner as she hauled her prisoners out into the hallway and frog marched them to the principles office. She kicked the door open and the demon fell down on the floor before her. She pushed the now crying partner of crime into the office after it. Iit leapt to it’s feet smoothing wrinkles out if it’s clothes from were she had been manhandling it trying to appear less shook up and more Big Bad like, while it’s partner sunk into a nearby chair.
“Faith, this is a PTA morning. Is this important?” asked Principle Brown.
“Nah, that’s him boss.” She said pointing to the one wearing the jacket. “I caught them both red handed.” She grinned, throwing the scrolls on the table between them.
“Thank-you Faith, well done. I can take it from here,” he said as the bell rang, “Don’t you and your friends have a class to attend this period?” he said conversationally.
“You sure boss? Cause I could take him down to the basement and…teach him the error of his ways. There’s plenty of dark, dank places down there where I could just lose him.” She said enthusiastically.
“Man keep that crazy bitch away from me! I’ll give you names, whatever you want, but just keep her away from me!” It yelled, running around the desk to keep it between her and him.
“No thank-you Faith. I believe I can take care of it.” He smiled kindly
“Five by Five,” She shrugged. “Well you know what class I’m in if you need me; just in case they give you any trouble.” She said helpfully.
“Class Faith” said Brown cocking an eyebrow.
“I’m going.” She smirked as she left and headed down the now rapidly filling hallway towards her science class. She spotted Dawn and Kit ahead of her in the crowd and she ducked through to catch them.
“Hey, how’d it go?” Asked Dawn cheerfully.
“Good, I caught the bastard but Brown wanted to handle it. He didn’t want me to get physical; said he could handle it.” She shrugged.
“Well, he is a professional so I’d trust him.” said Kit.
“What! I’m a professional too you know!” said Faith indignantly.
“Oh yeah totally, but you are a different type of professional. It’s like you are both doctors just different kinds. I mean you wouldn’t go to a gynecologist to remove your inflamed gallbladder would you? You’d go to a surgeon.” Said Kit trying to explain.
“The Gyno ate whose gallbladder?” said Carlos joining them and throwing an arm around both Dawn and Kit’s shoulders.
“Eww! Image!” said Kit screwing up her face.
“Faith nabbed it and Principle Brown is taking care of it, but Faith wants to make with the slayage,” said Dawn by way of explanation before turning back to Faith. “Think of it this way; at least the Gyno is a doctor like the surgeon, not a sales clerk or something so they at least play the same sport so he knows the rules, and if things go south in the interim he could always page the surgeon to come and consult and help him close up, besides it’s a gallbladder not like it’s removing a brain tumor.” said Dawn.
“Yeah, I know. It’s just me itching after the hunt you know? Usually it’s hunt-kill, urge satisfied; not hunt-take it to the Principle’s office you know?” shrugged Faith.
“Well, if it’s any conciliation we are dissecting dead pregnant rats today.” said Kit sympathetically.
“Hey there! What’s up campers?” said Jack joining them.
“The Gyno is removing the gallbladder but it’s ok because he’s not a sales clerk and at least plays the same sport as the surgeon whom he can page at anytime to assist with the procedure so it’s ok.” said Kit. Jack blinked a few times at her before turning to Faith.
“So did you catch those kids that Brown asked your help on; the ones selling test answers?” he asked.
“Yeah piece of cake, I mean it’s not as if I was hunting a Freyal demon or anything. I’m just feeling a bit off cause there was no kill at the end of the hunt, you know?”
“That’s our Slayer! Making Sunnyhell High safe one academic villian at a time!” said Carlos laughing as they all entered the Lab and took their seats.