“I can’t believe you did that.” Xander said in shock as he walked towards his fiancé and tried not to slip on the wet ground. “Do you have any idea how much it’s going to cost to get this off my clothes?”
“The council will cover it, what are you complaining about anyway you can barely see the blood, it blends into your shirt.” She explained as the two walked towards her car.
“This is the third time this week, Giles understands that clothes get damaged in the course of regular patrols but this is getting a bit much.” Xander complained as he set a roll of plastic out and sat down on the passenger seat.
“If you didn’t keep wearing those awful shirts this wouldn’t happen.” She countered as she started the car and pulled out of the park with a smile still on her face. “The Agri’More ambassador went psychotic at the color pattern of your first shirt, I almost had Jarbis talked down when he saw your second shirt and thought it was a Mandraqa Death Panther, and remember you volunteered to be ‘distraction guy’ back there because they focus on loud colors, you knew I was going to hit him with the Mark XVIII, and the cleaning cost wouldn’t be so bad if you’d just sign on and got issued a suit.”
“I don’t do suits, it’s like a rule for me. I don’t do tweed, I don’t do suits, I don’t do red sequin tights and after Switzerland I DON’T do lederhosen.” Xander said with finality as he tried to ignore the slightly glowing blue goo that was slowly dripping off to puddle on the seat.
“Yeah, after the tentacle beast grabbed…”
“WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE LEDERHOSEN!” Xander yelled as he desperately tried to ignore the nightmare images of THAT mission.
“If it wasn’t for that mission we would never have known of you or the Watchers Council.” She said before pulling to a stop in front of their destination. “Now stop complaining and come on, we have the diplomats of nine star kingdoms and five demon lords here and we don’t want to keep them waiting.” She said as she got out of the car and walked around to her husband to be as he frantically tried to wipe the slime off his ruined clothes.
“Like this, yeah right. They’ll probably consider it a dire insult and declare war on us.” Xander said as the feeling of panic started to take over his cognitive functions.
As the two words filled the air Xander looked down at his clean clothes before looking up at his oldest friend as she stood at the top of the steps.
“You know its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, I think it’s even worse to have to be saved by said bride and end up being slimed.” Willow said with a grin before grimacing at Xander’s clothes “Where on earth did you find a Hawaiian print tuxedo.” She said before shaking the question off. “Doesn’t matter, everyone else is waiting and we really don’t want to give the bad guys any more of a chance to disrupt this.” She said with feeling as she looked back at the rows of grim slayers and ‘Friendly’ demons on the left of the church countered by several dozen men and women in perfectly matching suits on the right.
“We’ve already had three attempted assassinations, two world endings and an attempt at public intergalactic pranking.” She said before shaking her head at Xander’s questioning look. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
Deciding to take her advice he turned to his wife to be and offered her his hand. “Agent ‘L’ would you allow me the honor of escorting you to your wedding?”
I DO NOT OWN Buffy The Vampire Slayer or Men In Black