I am enjoying this. The character interaction is fun without being forced, and the story is moving steadily forward. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Best, Litmouse
Comments from author:
So fixed that typo. As for the character interaction being forced, well let's just say you aren't the one trying to write this story. Heh, just a little joke. Very little. Like, 5 a.m. little.
Review By [litmouse] • Date [16 Oct 06] • Not Rated
This is a very good start and set-up to what could be a one of the major stories. Please keep it going, however take your time so that stays at this high quality.
Excellent update. I like your versions of the Broodmaster and Spike. Poor Gunn. I hope Veronica and Wallace become his friends and he can help them in their various quests. It would be cool to see Gunn rip the Neptune sheriff apart in court when he screws up or goes after Veronica. Lol!
Comments from author:
I don't know if Gunn'll end up in Neptune, but you're right. It would be entertaining. Honestly though, Veronica sure doesn't need his help to lead Lamb to the slaughter.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [30 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Excellent job with both Wallace and Veronica. I was sort of surprised that neither Spike nor Angel mentioned how much Veronica looks like Buffy. Evil snicker. I can't wait to find out what is going on and then see Veronica totally warp whatever Angel's plan is. Lol!
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [28 Sep 06] • Not Rated
I'm so impressed--most of this is in character, with the actiony bits nicely dispersed amongst the snarky dialogue bits. Wow. So, Angel and crew are up to something, huh? Interesting.
I really enjoyed this chapter, I hope you write more of this. One thing you might watch, your narrative kept jumping from past tense to present tense and back again.
Review By [EAmethyst] • Date [27 Sep 06] • Rating [7 out of 10]
exiled
Mari
