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Shadowed Mind

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Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from WittyNinja
Review:
This is a really interesting and unique idea. Keep up the good work. I'm totally hooked.
Comments from author:
Thank you. Though I can take all the credit for the story concept because I'm answering a challenge with this one. Hopefully I can keep you interest through till the end! Thank you for taking the time to review.
Review By [WittyNinja] • Date [17 Aug 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Lisette
Review:
My dear, you are so wonderfully cruel. You've brought Buffy back, mind and body and glorious speech, and yet I can't help feeling so sorry for her. She confided at least some of the truth, but is still hiding - from necessity, no doubt. But she's lost her world, lost Orlin and what she new of the Ancients, and now she's struggling to survive in a familiar world... and then you give her Graham. Brilliant move as you highlighted her lonliness and her unique position when she impulsively asks him to have dinner with her. You've really shown her desperation for any hint of the familiar, and in doing so, you've made her human.

Well done!
Comments from author:
She is getting the short end of the stick in this story, for the moment at least, and while I think Jonas could have handled the whole truth about who and what she is I'm highly doubtful that's something any government agency should know. Especially one with ties to the NID.

Orlin keeps hovering over her and I still haven't fully decided how to handle the Sam aspect or if I should even attempt to at this stage in the story. Everything, everyone is just a little too knew for her and I don't want to ruin a possible friendship between Buffy and Sam with petty jealousy. Which I would completely understand Buffy feeling at this point since the loss of Orlin is still so very new to her.

And yay for the Graham love! I was actually torn between using Oz and Graham, but I thought Oz would be someone she would insist on sitting down with and talking too. Graham was an friendly acquaintance at best and someone that can gradually gain her trust. I think an Oz double would hold an instant place in her life while Graham will have to work for one.

Thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [Lisette] • Date [14 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from jennzabelle
Review:
Ahh, very nice!

I wondered what you were going to do with Buffy while the team searched the Tok'ra files for O'Neill/Kanan's whereabouts - she can talk to Graham and possibly Riley and bitchslap Forrest! ;)

This is a really neat insertion/retelling of the Frozen/Ba'al arc, and I like the way you've made Jonas the lead SG character. I liked the way you retold Frozen and referenced the Oregon case w/o pulling in exposition and slowing the pace. Maybe the airmen will tell Gen. Hammond about Buffy's reaction/attachment to Graham and need him to know so she can tell him her story as opposed to Jonas, who is busy. It'd be an interesting way to set up another friendship/relationship for her and give you another layer to play with.

Will Buffy be able to heal Jack of his sarcophagus addiction with her glowy powers? Will she be there for the whole season-in-the-background and will Jonas stay, or are you planning to branch off?

I made the rating a 9 of 10 because there were some funny/distracting typos in the early chapters. Besides that, it was 'practically perfect in every way'.

Good job and I'm hoping for more!
Comments from author:
Thank you and sorry, but no, no Riley or Forest here. I'm going to stick with just Graham who, like Jonas, seems to be an underused character. Don't be too surprised it Teal'c begins to ease his way more into the spotlight of this story as well and for the same reason.

I do write a lot of insertion fics don't I? Eh, the muse wants what she wants. 'Frozen' did need to be retold because of the challenge, but since Buffy wasn't really going to be a part of 'Nightwalkers' I didn't see the point in doing anything other than referencing it. The events of 'Aybss' will go on around Buffy, but she's not actually going to be a part of that storyline.

I'm not sure if Buffy could heal Jack of his sarcophagus addiction. I'm sure she could make him more comfortable, but I'm not certain if 'addiction' is something you can just will away. I do believe I have some research ahead of me. Thanks for the plot bunny!

Darn the typos! I'll have to go back through and see if I can catch them. Thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [jennzabelle] • Date [14 Aug 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Keshkreature
Review:
Wow, poor Buffy. To definately find out that she'll never be home... at least without some major mojo...

Very good chapter. I'm looking forward to more Buffy/Jonas interactions! (You're right, there just isn't enough of that out there!)
Comments from author:
No major mojo here. Buffy's well and truly stuck in the SG'verse. More Buffy and Jonas interaction to come. Thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [Keshkreature] • Date [14 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from prehensileclaw
Review:
Very very good. Excellent writing. Buffy's viewpoint is exceedingly well done. I really hope to see more. Thanks for writing =)
Comments from author:
Thank you! I write mostly Buffy'centric so it's good to know that I do it well. *beams* Thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [prehensileclaw] • Date [14 Aug 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Discord
Review:
Aww Graham! I love Graham! Thanks for the update. I can't wait for more!
Comments from author:
Me too! He's an interesting character that got pretty much ignored by canon. Thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [Discord] • Date [14 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Newford
Review:
I'm thrilled to see you're continuing with this one. I haven't watched a lot of the middle seasons of Stargate
but I do remember this one and it really stood out for me, in a good way. I don't know a lot about Jonas other
than a lot of Stargate fans resented him for 'replacing' Daniel, but I really liked him in that episode.
And since Buffy is my favorite character from BTVS, not too mention that I've always loved your writing style and your characterization of her, I found this story irresistible. I love the connection between Jonas and Buffy here, Orlin-mentions are a plus, as is Janet being in the story.
Poor Buffy, apparently stuck in an alternate universe and being the outsider once again with only a tentative connection with Jonas to keep her grounded, not too mention the ever threatening NID.

Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks again for this installment, loved it!
Comments from author:
I can see where a lot of fans saw Jonas as the 'replacement' because he was, but he was also an interesting character once the writers stopped trying to force him into that Daniel-shaped hole. 'Frozen' was one of his shining episodes and while it did put him squarely in the Daniel-hole it also allowed him to interact with Ayiana in his own way.

*blushes* Thank you for the pretty comment about my writing and surprisingly Buffy isn't my favorite BtVS character. Illyria holds that spot with Lorne coming in a close second and Buffy the distant third. I just find her character the most interesting to write for and about. She's very multifaceted.

Buffy does seem to be getting the shaft in this story hence why I introduced Graham. While I think Jonas could be enough to keep her grounded I thought having someone outside of SG-1 and closer to Buffy's past might make her transition easier. The NID are coming, but the question remains of who they'll send. ;)

Thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [Newford] • Date [13 Aug 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from (Past Donor)polgara
Review:
Yay! An update!

Poor Jonas, having to learn that she really isn't an Ancient, but he still gets to learn about them :D He's so sweet though, making sure that she's being treated fairly and being understanding about being afraid of them. He's not that bad of a guy, I think the writers on the show just did him a huge disservice on how they treated him. You, however, a doing right by him.

And poor Buffy, finally coming to truly understand that she's not in her universe anymore with Graham not recognizing her. Now pause for a moment while I do my fangirl squee - Graham!!! K, moving on. Curse those escorts not letting her have dinner with him. *pouts*

Now I just have to patiently wait for the next part and see how things work out. I just know the NID is gonna interfere soon, cause that's what they do...

*hugs*
Pol
Comments from author:
Jonas seems to bounce back from just about anything rather quickly. It's one of the faucets of his personality that intrigues me the most. He has the knack for getting knocked down (or blatantly ignored) by the bad guys (or his own team) and then comes through to save the day or put forth a valiant effort that helps to save the day. There are many aspects of his character that differ greatly from Daniel's and I think the writers forgot that at times.

Graham is the shit. Though I think dinner in her current mindset would have been a bad idea. She's a bit vulnerable and possibly susceptible to Graham's charms. Does Graham have charms? We'll find out I soon I suppose. ;)

I like the NID. They are a very human and realistic threat to the SGC. Plus I don't have to describe any gaudy gold-strewn attire when I write them. Hee!
Review By [(Past Donor)polgara] • Date [13 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Grindhall
Review:
Nice.

Short but interesting.

Thanks for Sharing.
Comments from author:
*blinks* 3600 words is short? Huh. You might want to avoid some of my other work then.

Thank you for taking the time to review.
Review By [Grindhall] • Date [13 Aug 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Thedruid
Review:
I remeber starting this story long ago, glad to see it continueing.
Comments from author:
Yep, it's still going. Thank you for taking the time to review.
Review By [Thedruid] • Date [13 Aug 08] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from AllenPitt
Review:
neat...she finally came sorta almost clean with them... and met Graham. Which implies Riley of course. Makes one wonder if there's a happy Buffy Summers out there somewhere & a Xander & Willow etc...
* Her knowing his name is going to be noted & reported, and might well cause a lot of consternation among the security people....though it might make Hammond believe her story a little more...
Comments from author:
The longer she lied, the worse it would have been when the truth came out. Though I couldn't see Buffy telling them about her Slayer statsis. I mean, why would they need to know?

I used Graham because I wanted it to be a connection to her past, but not someone she'd instantly trust and confide in. With Graham I get a familiar, friendly face but at one point he did work for the bad guys which might not paint the SGC in the best light for Buffy. Thank you for taking the time to review.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [13 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from (Past Donor)Charlotte
Review:
Awww, I always liked Graham
Comments from author:
Me too. Expect more of him soon.
Review By [(Past Donor)Charlotte] • Date [13 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Amai
Review:
Very cool. I actually remember this episode. Can't wait to see what happens when she tells them.
Comments from author:
It's a good episode. I'm happy Dusties came up with this challenge. Thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [Amai] • Date [17 Jul 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Kristen
Review:
I'd love to see an update to this. I have to agree with you that there just aren't enough stories that appreciate Jonas for the wonderful character he is. I really liked the inclusion of Orlin as well, another of my favorite secondary characters. The descriptions of Buffy's life with the ancients and her connection to the universe are so beautiful and well written. I hope to read more of your wonderful writing soon, which I will since you're one of my favorite authors, but I'd really like to read more of this little gem in particular. Think about it won't you? :)
Comments from author:
The next chapter is finished but it's going through it's cool down period before I check it over for OOC moments and then ship it off to the beta so there should be another chapter posted soon. Jonas holds a special place in my heart of hearts and since I'd never seen a crossover focusing on him I decided to spin the challenge, this story is an answer to, so that he took center stage.

Orlin is a wonderful character and since he's not as developed as say Jonas I got to toy with him and his reactions. I also think having Buffy for an influence before his ascension adds a little something to him going against the others to help that planet. Thank you for the pretty compliments, even if I believe them not entirely deserved, and thank you for taking the time to review!
Review By [Kristen] • Date [14 Jul 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from SpacedCadet
Review:
Very interesting start. I'm looking forward to more!
Review By [SpacedCadet] • Date [17 Jun 08] • Not Rated
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