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Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from zafaran
Review:
Nice beginning. I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes from here. Willow is *so* annoying. So are the others, but Willow seems to be worse of them. Makes you wonder if she's going to do something to "control" Dawn since Dawn is trying to create an independent life in even a limited way. I hope your schedule and muse will allow you to write and post more chapters sometime soon. Keep up the good work. Zafaran {mailto:} zafaran {at} fastmail {dot} fm
Comments from author:
LOL. Can't tell you, can I? That'd be giving the story away ;) Glad you like it!
Review By [zafaran] • Date [28 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from spring
Review:
I seem to recall reading this very good fic before, or at least part of it. I can't believe that I didn't flag it for tracking! I have to agree with Faith about Dawn she is a grown up and Willow and Giles are ring to keep her a child so stupid. More soon please.
Comments from author:
I'm doing my best ;)
Review By [spring] • Date [26 Jun 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from (Past Donor)morgyair
Review:
My only wish is for longer chapters!
Comments from author:
LOL. I'm sorry to say, probably not in this story. Thank you so much for reviewing!
Review By [(Past Donor)morgyair] • Date [10 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Tempe
Review:
Great story. I'm a little curious though if Dawn is technically Elliot's daughter as well though. I know you said somewhere in your AN that this story is a little piece of fiction between work but I'd be interested in seeing where you could take it. Great job so far.
Comments from author:
Glad you like it. And I won't tell. LOL. You'll see as the story progresses. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [Tempe] • Date [9 Jun 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from (Past Donor)Charlotte
Review:
I just discovered this and love it. I hope you continue to update regularly, I can't wait to see where you take this.
Comments from author:
I'm really glad you like it. As for updating regularly, we'll see. This chapter is about the very first I've written in a very long year and I won't make any promises that might be broken. Though cross my heart and hope to die, I won't let the story be unfinished for ever. LOL. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [(Past Donor)Charlotte] • Date [9 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from zigpal
Review:
great update. I can't wait to see how Elliot responds to Dawn's response to Buffy's death.
Comments from author:
I'll let you into a little secret...*whispers*...I am too! LOL. All right...joking...joking! I have a little idea that a birdie whispered to me but I won't tell. You'll just have to wait and see ;) Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [zigpal] • Date [9 Jun 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prologue" from kidkili
Review:
I may be the only one who says this, but I like the shorter chapters. They just cut straight through the bull and into what matters. I really like it so far, so keep going whenever real life doesnt decide to kick you in the butt. I know how that is, lol.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you do. This is actually the first story with so short chapters and I find it more fun to write because of it. Though I totally understand everyone who wants longer chapters. I know I would as a reader. But this story is, and remains, an experiment of mine. So for someone to like it as it is...I'm very, very glad :) Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [kidkili] • Date [9 Jun 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from DemonChildeKyra
Review:
Hmm, this is pretty good. I definitely can't wait to see where you take it. Please say you plan to continue it.
Comments from author:
Leaving it has never really been an option. But life's been life, and it can be very hard, hence my writing has been pretty non-existent. I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [DemonChildeKyra] • Date [18 Jan 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from Tuttle
Review:
Please don't abandon this fic!
Comments from author:
Won't, I swear.
Review By [Tuttle] • Date [8 Oct 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from spring
Review:
I love it. more soon please.
Comments from author:
Heh, dunno about soon but updated it will be ;)
Review By [spring] • Date [28 Sep 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from Dobbythehouseelf
Review:
This is a pretty good story so far although I agree with everyone else, the chapters are a little short. I only one slight problem with the last chapter. Captain Cragen, or more specifically Dan Florek the actor who plays him, is by no means elderly. I'd guess he's around mid 50s early 60s which could be considered elderly but that word, at least for me, invokes the image of a wrinkled old geezer stooped over a walker. I'd suggest describing him as an "older man" or just "a man."
Comments from author:
Very good point which I definitely will take into consideration and remember. I suppose I described him as elderly is because of his hair. Yes, yes, cliché I know and I'll try very hard not to do so later on. LOL. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [Dobbythehouseelf] • Date [2 Jun 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from harpy
Review:
I like it. the only thing I have an issue with is the "leaving" at the end of a chapter. In the last chapter you didn't do it, and in my mind that heightens the quality. Especially since your chapters are so short the leaving part I usually find superfluous and disruptive.

Sorry. Otherwise, good job!
Comments from author:
Hey, I really want constructive criticism because in the end it'll make me a better writer and I appreciate your comment a lot. I'll be sure to keep it in mind. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [harpy] • Date [30 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from HunterH
Review:
Please write more soon i cant wait to find out how things turn out:)
Comments from author:
Does an update, a year later, work for you? *hides behind a tree* Don't hit me! LOL. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [HunterH] • Date [29 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from zigpal
Review:
great update. I like the setup for this, it is a change of pace. Plus, the chapters are short enough that it is easy to throw a quick chapter together. I can't wait to see what happens next now that Elliot and Dawn are now in the same place.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you like it, and I'm really sorry for not updating until now. But I really do hope I'll be able to finish this particular story this summer, or sometime around then. Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [zigpal] • Date [29 May 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from (Past Donor)morgyair
Review:
Way too short but oh the quality....looking forward to the next part and the next and the next....you know the drill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments from author:
I know, and I'm sorry. I'm kicking my butt I swear! Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [(Past Donor)morgyair] • Date [29 May 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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