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Let’s Make A Deal

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Review of chapter "Battle Royale" from WebSpyder
Review:
The comic book Hulk regenerates faster than the movie Wolverine. Any cuts or broken bones would heal almost instantly.
Review By [WebSpyder] • Date [3 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Stryker Strikes: Part 2" from WebSpyder
Review:
Your logic doesn't add up. Mutants are humans with an active X gene. There is no reason why demons or mystically powered humans would register as mutant. Genetically, it is the equivalent of saying that you are detecting dogs and cats and cows register as cats because they aren't dogs.
Review By [WebSpyder] • Date [3 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Changes and Decisions" from WebSpyder
Review:
Canon changes you sweep under the rug aside, you should use narrative to tell us how Buffy's death effects everyone, not just run down a laundry list like the epilogue at the end of a bad 80s movie. Your premise has promise and I'm sticking with the story really hoping your delivery improves as it goes on.
Review By [WebSpyder] • Date [3 Jul 13] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Anniversary" from (Current Donor)Listener
Review:
I am Not really sure how I feel after finishing this story.

On th one hand, you wrote (and finished) a really long, well-plotted tale that definitely took a lot of time and hard work to get right. I particularly enjoyed the way you made everything fit together with the Buffy and Marvel universes.

On the other hand, I wasn't a huge fan of some of the writing choices made -- particularly your notations for thoughts and private mental conversations. It always distracts me when writers use unconventional notation. Also the craft part of the writing -- not the art-- in my opinion needed some work.

I did like the story itself, and you conveyed a lot of powerful emotions with it. It was just hard for me to overlook some of the technical stuff, which I'm really picky about.
Comments from author:
I have never found a souce that had a set standard for differentiating between story elements that are spoken, written, or thought. If you know of one, please let me know. I do try to be consistent between my stories but do not always attain that and have been influenced by what I've seen in other authors' stories.

Glad you liked the story.
Review By [(Current Donor)Listener] • Date [14 Jun 13] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Anniversary" from Oxnate
Review:
Chapter 21: Like the way you extrapolated the effect of Xavier's attack. Seems very logical.

Chapter 27: “I really hate prophecies,” he growled out. -- That about sums it up for me too.

Chapter 45: I know it's a long ways between reviews for chapters, but there wasn't anything that made me go Yea! or Yuck! This chapter had the Yea! for Dawn coming in and Buffy not knowing her. Well done with that.


General: What happened to that Rock guy? I forget what chapter he was in. But something about his master and whatnot. Anyway. Good story and I'm glad that I finally got around to reading this.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [17 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Still Dealing" from Oxnate
Review:
RE: Chapter 3. Someone on the internet is Wrong! And I must save them!

Chapter 7. I dislike prophesies. Any prophesies. Yours was better than average, but still gets negative points none the less. Which, are instantly erased by the scene with Joyce reading to Faith. Pure awesomeness there. (See? I don't just criticize. I tell you what I love too.)

Chapter 19. Well, other than cringing at the mention of the Kansas Slayer, I'm very much liking this fic. The battle was well written and I could follow everything that happened. Well done.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [16 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Changes and Decisions" from Oxnate
Review:
I've been holding off on reading this one. Mostly for one mistake in the 3rd chapter: "Through his contacts in the Council, Giles was able to determine that a Potential named Kennedy had been Called the night Buffy died. Kennedy herself had died that same night fighting a nest of vampires when she was decapitated with her own sword. There was no evidence that she had made a single kill. A young woman named Chloe from Kansas was now the current Slayer."

-- Buffy's second (and third) death(s) did not call any additional Slayers. The Slayer line goes through Faith by that time. Coma or no. Not that I was sad to see Kennedy bite it.

But when I saw that it was finally finished, I decided to give it a go. I'll let you know about the rest.


EDIT: Then why not just take a Slayer, kill her, and revive her a hundred times? Bang! A hundred Slayers. That's why I say it was a mistake. It doesn't make sense.
Comments from author:
That was not a mistake but a different take on the what might happen if Buffy, or any other Slayer, died again after being revived.

EDIT:
I know some stories that have gone that route.

However, if you try that too much you run the risk of the Golden Goose and not have any eggs available in the future. Before going off willy nilly one would have to investigate to see if new Slayers were just as powerful as the one revived or if there were other unwanted mystical side effects. Afterall, it has been positted that the Mass Calling Willow did kept Slayers from existing for a couple hundred years till Melaka Fray finally showing up.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [16 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Anniversary" from RafMereC
Review:
I love how you ended it.

I am recommending it, because it's kick ass from beginning to end.

Raf
Review By [RafMereC] • Date [13 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Anniversary" from Wise
Review:
Disappointing.

It's a loaded word, I know, but it's the only one that fits. You've done a good job of showing Buffy's recovery, of portraying the long process of salvage necessary to rebuild her into a whole human being after what Stryker did to her. The relationship between Faith and Xander was reasonably well done, too. I usually hate Faith/Xander pairings, but yours actually seemed downright workable. But despite its potential, the story's got a major, major problem: a plot tumor in the form of 'the prophecy' that puts Xander in a position of deciding whether Faith or Buffy lives. In and of itself, that wouldn't be so bad. The fact that it's directly related to which one of them he's dating at the moment is incredibly problematic, but whatever. I'll grant you your starting place. But you invest so much narrative capital in the salvage of Buffy Summers that for her to then just drop dead is basically unthinkable.

There's actually a whole lot of story that could be mined out of that conflict. You could really play up the sheer waste of having Buffy, only just returned to some semblance of herself, now confronted with the death that awaits us all. You could have her rail against her fate, against the Powers That Be for their ridiculous dickishness in making it a "ONE MUST DIE" situation. If it's Faith who dies, you could mine that, too. She might take Xander's choice of Buffy as confirmation that she was only ever second-best after all. She might do some raging against the dying of the light of her own, and maybe decide to Screw Destiny ("If destiny is gonna make my life and its meaning and whether or not I get to keep livin' it come down to whether or not I'm the one screwing Xander at the end of the day? Then to hell with destiny.") She might even succeed. If you want to focus on Xander, you might play up the sheer unfairness of the situation, where the Powers are forcing him into a situation where he's going to be forced to let one of the two people that he loves die, and underline that even further with the whole "It's the one you don't choose." Because is that context, how could he possibly make that decision? And what awful secrets must now lie behind his haunted eyes for having made it? Will he ever be able to look himself in the mirror again? There could be any number of other scenarios I haven't thought of.

But you don't deal with any of that. You just kind of let it drop with a vague not-explanatory epilogue that doesn't even bother to tell us which one lived, and then further undermine any potential emotional impact the choice Xander had no business making in the first place might have had by saying, "Well, whichever one of them died, she got reincarnated as the other's daughter." Given that you appear to have no interest in exploring this, why did you even include the plot thread in your story in the first place?

So yeah. Maybe I should have left it with 'disappointing.'
Comments from author:
Your opinion is noted. Feel free to ignore the last chapter and write your own continuation. My muse for this story has run out of ideas after five years so your assertion that I had 'no interest in exploring this' is a bit off. I did not desire to just abandon it without some type of resolution. You are entitled to like or dislike that resolution.
Review By [Wise] • Date [13 Oct 12] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Anniversary" from Greywizard
Review:
Okay, I have to admit that that was a *magnificent* way to summarize and close out this story without actually telling us who Xander ended up with.

And the fact that it was extremely evil and Machiavellian only makes me that much more jealous that I wasn't writing something like this and came up with the idea first. ;-)

Great ending to a great story, buddy!!

Excellent work!
Comments from author:
Takes bow and leaves the stage with a jaunty smirk on his lips.
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [6 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Anniversary" from war
Review:
Great story.
Review By [war] • Date [6 Oct 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Anniversary" from Morgomir
Review:
Fantastic ending for a fantastic story. Keep up the good work, whatever it may be.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [6 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "J, J & E" from Morgomir
Review:
Great chapter. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [3 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "J, J & E" from Greywizard
Review:
Just finally got the chance to read this, man, and I repeat once more, Joyce is NOT someone you want pissed off at you!!!

I like Joyce because she actively tried to protect her child against what she thought were delinquents or gang-bangers trying to roust the high school, and she actively tried to use an axe on Spike's head. ;-)

If only all mothers cared about their children like that. ;-(

I also loved the way the rest of the Scoobies followed her lead without any qualms, whatsoever, and also helped perfect her vengeance.

Good job, as always.
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [23 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "J, J & E" from LFW
Review:
Great use of Hallie and Lord D.
Some good characters that need more fic time and Joyce hugging Hallie is a nice touch.
Thanks
Review By [LFW] • Date [22 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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