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Back Again, Harry?

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Review of chapter "Chapter 18: Additional Complications" from Bobboky
Review:
good
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [24 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 18: Additional Complications" from missmegan
Review:
Fantastic read! It's totally addictive! I discovered and finished it in under three hours and am left wanting more!
Review By [missmegan] • Date [24 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 18: Additional Complications" from Valkyrie
Review:
Neato
Review By [Valkyrie] • Date [24 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 18: Additional Complications" from Callista
Review:
Yay, another chapter!
Review By [Callista] • Date [24 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from Morgomir
Review:
Great chapter. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [19 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from (Past Donor)DreamSmith
Review:
I only just found this, and read it all in the span of a couple days.
You could, I suppose, take that as a certain sort of positive review, all on its own.
^_^

Seriously, though, this is fairly excellent.
One minor complaint is....
Well, my very favorite bits of this are the SMALL bits. The tiny moments where Harry and Ron and Hermione are interacting with each other. In the early chapters, this was much more in focus, and the story was immensely the better for it. Yes, Harry was, to some degree, putting on a false face for the others, and playing 'down' to them, since they're younger than he. I'd argue, however, that he needed that, needed to have time to recover from the war he'd just lived through.
Also (and I'm being honest here), I couldn't help but hope that relationships would shake out differently in this version of the timeline. I'd LOVE to see Harry bond more closely with Hermione this time through, and less so with Ron. A more focused, more studious Harry, more interested in learning and less interested in flying on brooms? Yes please! Very, VERY much 'yes'.
Hermione's interest in Harry, her probing questions and knowing looks that disturbed him so much... I was absolutely going crazy with hope that you were taking the first steps towards the two of them hooking up (much) later on.

Seeing Harry trying to deal with Snape differently was also a huge positive development, in my opinion. The balance you struck, with the man STILL being horrible to him, but with Harry gritting his teeth and answering that with as much grace and maturity as he could manage was just about perfect, and I loved every single line of it.

And then....
And then much of that went away. I can just about point to the exact LINE where the tone of the story shifted, and it's when Lupin arrives at Hogwart's.
After that moment, Harry's focus shifts away from the things that made the story so wonderful (the the warmth and empathy and desire to connect with his friends and in general do right by everyone this time around) and he instead turns into a much colder, and far, far more calculating figure.
Yes, I know the entire POINT of his redoing the timeline is to crush Voldy and the Deatheaters as quickly and efficiently as possible, but he person he has to be to do that is infinitely less interesting and engaging than the boy who wanted to embrace and renew his friendships, and create some others that hadn't happened before, but SHOULD have (ie Snape).

And even leaving aside my personal preferences for how all that might have continued, the latter chapters have you slipping VERY deeply into an issue that I've had problems with myself, where these children begin speaking and acting as if they're all thirty-year-old superspies, instead of eleven-year-old kids. It stands out all the more starkly in this case, because you started out doing so well with it, showing Harry as properly mature in his thought processes but with Ron and Hermione as far simpler and more straightforward in speech and action. Harry had to consciously 'throttle back' when he was interacting with them, and that was entirely appropriate.
When Lupin appears, however, Harry kicks forward into acting and speaking as a fully mature person (which is fine), but Ron and Hermione ALSO change how they act and speak, and it's horribly jarring and offputting to see that happen.

Wow, sorry to ramble on like that, but I had the need to share that with you.
It's an excellent story, it really is, but I cannot help wishing that the latter bits were more like the earlier ones in tone. I'm still reading along, but I have to say that my enthusiasm dropped off by about half when it became more about the plan than about the people.

That being said, I'm still looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Thank you.
Review By [(Past Donor)DreamSmith] • Date [15 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from sdavidm
Review:
Some interesting developments. Harry has definitely triggered a whole new set of dominoes falling.
Review By [sdavidm] • Date [5 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from Gideon
Review:
Good to see Harry's patience bearing fruit as things slowly change course. He really does need a chance to talk to Sirius though. With what future knowledge Sirius has there is a lot he could do if he thinks he is still alone in what he knows. Such an uncontrolled reaction could be dangerous for Harry even if somethings would be helpful too, like not having to stay with the Dursleys.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [3 Jul 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from Elleria
Review:
Looking forward to the next bit.
Review By [Elleria] • Date [3 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from ChaosLady
Review:
What an evil, evil cliffhanger! You better update soon! If you don't update for months and months after a chapter like that, I'm going to be very upset! Loved the chapter though.
Review By [ChaosLady] • Date [2 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from AbscondingCascade
Review:
YES! An update, thank you for this. And so in thanks for this ~ www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mV73bsM870
Review By [AbscondingCascade] • Date [2 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 17: Gathering Momentum" from Bobboky
Review:
Very good
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [2 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 16: Fresh Perspectives" from Morgomir
Review:
Great story. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [17 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 16: Fresh Perspectives" from (Past Donor)Cheese
Review:
I'm glad to see you continue this story. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens
Review By [(Past Donor)Cheese] • Date [17 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 16: Fresh Perspectives" from Elleria
Review:
Very happy to see an update. Love this story.
Review By [Elleria] • Date [11 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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