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Rise of the Phoenix

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Review of chapter "Chapter Twenty-Four" from lucyferr
Review:
You should forget your first thought, General. Putting tracers or watchers on either of them would be a very, very bad idea. You saw how well they reacted to your 'surveillance' the last time. They are just beginning to trust you because of Sam and Janet. Breaking that trust is not advisable.

silly Hammy

The Elders, many who have come to be recognized by humans as cultural deities, including Osiris, do not interfere unless specifically requested. That's were the Temples and sacrifices come from."

funny that Yahweh isnt one of them... lol... someone should write a fic where Yahweh is a Goa'uld, to the old Hebrews like Ra was with the Egyptians and Ba'al with the - whoever was living in Palestine (Canaan?) before the Hebrews invaded from Egypt

Her role is to maintain the Balance between them. That is what the Neutrals do. They police the others

Buffillow has to police the Good too?

The Slayer was never meant to win against the hordes of demons on this world, merely keep them from overrunning until the return of these three. For centuries the Slayers understood that. They destroyed the demons that needed to be destroyed, and let the others live, just like Buffy. The Balance tipped when pride, greed, and prejudice corrupted the Watchers Council, which in turn corrupted the Slayers, by cutting them off from the rest of the world and then indoctrinating them to kill all demons, not just the Evil ones.

ahhh ok good explanation

The Slayers were never meant to be isolated. Regardless of their calling, they are mostly human, and they need human contact. Buffy, even though she doesn't realize it, is the first to fully return to the old ways.

! :-)
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twenty-Three" from lucyferr
Review:
“Shortly before the rescue, Anya brought to my attention a prophecy that predates even the birth of the Slayer Line. I wrote it down and made copies for everyone.”
The Scoobies and the Fang Gang all looked up at him in surprise. From their expressions, Hammond gathered that the news was not something they encountered often and, for some reason, that worried him even more.

cool Hammond can learn

This prophecy, General, states that at least three of the them are returning.”

It never rains but it po... someone get a brolly
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twenty-Two" from lucyferr
Review:
Great talk between Sam and Dawn

“As for those people, they were torturing you, Will. They were willing to kill us. They deserved what they got.”
"But..."
"No!" Buffy cut her off, her voice deepening into a growl as her fury surged. "I know what they did to you. Every little bit. Sineya or no Sineya, I was going to kill them anyway. People like that are worse than the demons."

yes Buffy!
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twenty-One" from lucyferr
Review:
“There is one more, I believe.” Willow refuted. A flash of light, and Robert Kinsey suddenly stood before them....Forcing him to look her in the eye, Buffy released the tight hold that she kept on her aura. Kinsey saw damnation in her eyes, but couldn’t look away no matter how hard he tried. He sank into the amber gold glare, and began to scream ...
"He’ll be little more than a vegetable from now until the day he dies.”

Okay, that's pretty good, but they should have ripped his five limbs off first.

“Buffy!” Sam yelled from where she was. She didn’t even try to get past the shield, knowing that they were still too dangerous. “You can’t kill him. He’s too well known and too well connected. They will never stop looking for you.”

Hm is that still true? Kinsey was already being disavowed by his buds

Nodded, Bridget took a step toward the girls, but was jerked back by a furious Air Force Colonel.
“I don’t think so.” Sam snarled. “Where do you think you’re taking my daughter?”
... “Wow, Buffy really does come by the temper of her honestly, doesn’t she?” Anya mused.

good scene

Separate, they're each as strong as the Old One here was in her prime, but together, they rank as one of The Nine.”

Who's the Old One?

“She’s right.” Faith spoke up. “Even I knew it. That’s why I went after Red in the first place. Nothing can throw B off her game faster than Red, Little D or Mom in danger.”

the predator says it best

“I will no longer require your services as my Guide. I will reunite with those more worthy.” She turned away and moved to stand before Sam. “I will travel with you.”
Sam looked at her with a raised brow. “Umm, okay.”

oh dear poor Sam

Point number two, the Slayer apparently has a link of some kind with the Witch, that she was eventually able to use to locate her.

So Buffy would have found Kinsey even if the Trust hadnt turned him in?
Comments from author:
Illyria is the Old One.

As for finding Kinsey on her own. It went something like that. Not necessarily FIND them, but when it happened, Buffy kinda just went there without actually having a specific location.
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twenty" from lucyferr
Review:
“How can you just decide to give us your power?” Buffy demanded to know. “I don’t want it if it’s going to make us all ‘bow down or die’ bitchy like.”
The question alone proves that you are worthy.

that's a bit cliche but the dragon looks pretty cool so it's ok

He wondered if the fact that he was merely obeying orders would get him anywhere on his judgement day when God demanded to know why he’d killed two innocent girls that had made no threats to the government that their mandate said they were protecting

Ah, he's religious. And the religion is monotheistic. That explains it. People from those religions are much more culturally prone to taking orders from a centralized authority. (Which is why those religions are so successful in society-building.)

Buffy was standing before the doctors that had mercilessly tortured her mate for days. Just as she was about to grab the closest one by the throat, a pale hand closed around her wrist, arresting the motion....
“Mine.” She said softly, her eyes colored the same autumn-gold that had surrounded them before.
The Red Witch stood before her tormentors, her body and mind healed and pain-free for the first time in what felt like an eternity....
“You wanted access to my power?” Her voice remained soft, but the depthless menace now present in that terrible voice sent a wave of terror down their spines. “Congratulations, you’re going to get your wish.”

awwww... and we get a scene cut here. Booooo....

“Faith?”
“We gotta get outta here.” Her voice shook with fear.
“What about Buffy and Willow?” Xander snapped at her.
“They’re running from Buffy and Willow.” She threw back.

kinda funny

“That’s Ancient Egyptian.” Daniel exclaimed, his eyes wide. “That dialect hasn’t been spoken in centuries.”

Has the main dialect been spoken in centuries?... hm, let me look it up... wikipedia says 300 pple speak Coptic (modern evolution of ancient egyptian) today, so I'll concede Daniel's point, though I dunno if those 300 are outside the Coptic Church

The rescue party heard the soldier give a high squealing scream that cut off amidst the wet, sickening sound of tearing meat. As everyone froze in shock the soldier’s upper torso, including the one arm still attached, flew down the corridor towards them for a third of the distance before hitting the ground and sliding to a stop about 15 feet away from the shield.
First Buffy, then Willow appeared at the other end of the corridor. Buffy carelessly dropped the arm she’d just ripped from the soldier, which hit the ground with a wet sound, splattering the two young women with blood. Not that a little more blood mattered given how much blood and other gore already streaked their forms in chaotic patterns.

Now that's more like it :-) Of course, I'm pretty glad this is a book and not a film, let alone RL.

Hope B & W don't go feeling guilty about this. They've killed demons and vamps who were far less monstery than these guys. But they do need to apply the same treatment to Kinsey or it won't be fair.
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twenty" from lucyferr
Review:
“How can you just decide to give us your power?” Buffy demanded to know. “I don’t want it if it’s going to make us all ‘bow down or die’ bitchy like.”
The question alone proves that you are worthy.

that's a bit cliche but the dragon looks pretty cool so it's ok

He wondered if the fact that he was merely obeying orders would get him anywhere on his judgement day when God demanded to know why he’d killed two innocent girls that had made no threats to the government that their mandate said they were protecting

Ah, he's religious. And the religion is monotheistic. That explains it. People from those religions are much more culturally prone to taking orders from a centralized authority. (Which is why those religions are so successful in society-building.)

Buffy was standing before the doctors that had mercilessly tortured her mate for days. Just as she was about to grab the closest one by the throat, a pale hand closed around her wrist, arresting the motion....
“Mine.” She said softly, her eyes colored the same autumn-gold that had surrounded them before.
The Red Witch stood before her tormentors, her body and mind healed and pain-free for the first time in what felt like an eternity....
“You wanted access to my power?” Her voice remained soft, but the depthless menace now present in that terrible voice sent a wave of terror down their spines. “Congratulations, you’re going to get your wish.”

awwww... and we get a scene cut here. Booooo....

“Faith?”
“We gotta get outta here.” Her voice shook with fear.
“What about Buffy and Willow?” Xander snapped at her.
“They’re running from Buffy and Willow.” She threw back.

kinda funny

“That’s Ancient Egyptian.” Daniel exclaimed, his eyes wide. “That dialect hasn’t been spoken in centuries.”

Has the main dialect been spoken in centuries?... hm, let me look it up... wikipedia says 300 pple speak Coptic (modern evolution of ancient egyptian) today, so I'll concede Daniel's point, though I dunno if those 300 are outside the Coptic Church

The rescue party heard the soldier give a high squealing scream that cut off amidst the wet, sickening sound of tearing meat. As everyone froze in shock the soldier’s upper torso, including the one arm still attached, flew down the corridor towards them for a third of the distance before hitting the ground and sliding to a stop about 15 feet away from the shield.
First Buffy, then Willow appeared at the other end of the corridor. Buffy carelessly dropped the arm she’d just ripped from the soldier, which hit the ground with a wet sound, splattering the two young women with blood. Not that a little more blood mattered given how much blood and other gore already streaked their forms in chaotic patterns.

Now that's more like it :-) Of course, I'm pretty glad this is a book and not a film, let alone RL.

Hope B & W don't go feeling guilty about this. They've killed demons and vamps who were far less monstery than these guys. But they do need to apply the same treatment to Kinsey or it won't be fair.
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from lucyferr
Review:
It would be a shame if Kinsey was allowed to remain alive or to die quickly. They should do to him what they did to the Christian fundamentalist who assassinated William the Silent of Orange

The soldier, however, for the first time since being recruited by the NID, wondered at the sanctity of their mission, as he watched this young girl, a savior herself if what he’d heard was true, beg and plead for her friend to live even as she was so obviously dying herself.

Slow soldier...
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eighteen" from lucyferr
Review:
“We’ve got to hurry. She’s gonna slaughter ‘em like pigs.”

And what's wrong with that? Kinsey deserves it a lot more than a bunch of walking pork chops (ps I like pork chops)

“Sam!” Daniel waved.
“Riley! Sam!” Dawn squealed

too many Sams
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from lucyferr
Review:
“So, what’s up with you and Janet?”

:-)

“Willow is missing. She was last tracked into this area. Someone had to have seen or heard something, and that person or demon had better get the information to me, or I will come back and tear California City apart.”
Without turning, she ducked as one of the previously unconscious vampires swung a pool stick at her head. She caught it on the return swing, snapped it in half and shoved the broken end through the vampire’s heart before he even realized that he’d lost his advantage.

whoa

Xander went to get it, and brought back a small, waifish demon child, who looked terrified.

that's a nice scene - cool, even heart warming, to see a demon child, let alone a scared waif demon child

“Then don’t focus on hers.” Dawn thought for a moment. “There are very few people in the world that are strong enough to block Willow, and we know most of them. Do a more general search for magic in regards to power level instead of a specific signature, either single or a group, then we can begin eliminating the possibilities.”

smart girl Dawn

Anya had sat him down and, with her customary brutal honesty, forced him to see the double-standard that he had set.
He had dated several monsters and demons that had tried to kill them, had become the enemy himself on more than one occasion, yet blamed Buffy for falling in love with Angel.

good, finally get some X pov

Although Buffy didn’t hate them for ripping her out of heaven, she did blame them. She’d been having such a hard time simply coping day to day, living when she didn’t want to be, and they all just assumed that she’d get over it and bounce back into the swing of things.

hmm yeah that's a good description

He knew that his mouth ran ahead of his brain sometimes. When he was hurt or scared, he lashed out. He realized that, because of it, his friends tended to think that he was judgmental and self-righteous.

yeah, he's totally Ron Weasley at times i.e. total scum. Though Xander does have more redeeming factors than Ron, whose only redeeming quality is that his family is big & interesting

According to Angel, word had gotten around in the supernatural world that the Red Witch had been taken and the Slayer was on a rampage, and everyone had cleared out of town and gone into hiding.

poor demon child - hope he didnt get blamed by the other demons for telling the Slayer...

“Who took her!” Buffy shouted, and Sam instinctively reached for her missing gun when the room visibly shook with an unknown power. She jumped when a picture fell off the wall behind her. “I don’t care which one of you in that room tells me, but one of you had better do it, or I will hunt you all down and treat you like the evil bastards that you are.”

wow she got results fast... but then again, why would the Trust have contacted the Scoobies if they didnt want to hand a name over?
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen" from lucyferr
Review:
She knew exactly what her daughter was feeling. Everyone thought that it was Jack O'Neill that she wanted, but couldn't have because of military regulations, but it wasn't that simple.

yay! Sam can do a lot better than an old hockey jock who has nothing in common with her

Despite their arguments, they'd found themselves liking the girl, and were truly saddened at her loss.

good initial take on the Rosenbergs, not making them monsters

ps: does Kinsey have a twirly mustache?
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from lucyferr
Review:
One day, they will figure out that I am not deaF

lol... and one day, kids will respect their elders

“They have a record book of every Slayer and Potential that seems to update as they are born and activated. It updates magically..."

sounds like the Hogwarts book

“They knew and they let me slip through the cracks?” Willow and Giles looked up to see Buffy standing the doorway. “Why? A lot of our problems could have been straightened out if we’d had someone on their side that we could trust. Then again, how do we know that we can trust them, either?”

again, good q

“What island?”

Buffiana Republic

praying that they’re right and this doesn’t come back and kick them in the teeth
praying that they were right and this wouldn’t come back and kick them in the teeth

Although, any land that we purchase will have to be considered the same as an embassy.

good idea

“As much as my superiors would hate me for saying this, I think you should consider bring in foreign teachers as well. Not all of these girls will be from the States, and they’d probably feel more comfortable with someone in a position of authority from their own homeland.”

well said! scientists are much more international in their outlook than ordinary military officers

at one point, the Watcher’s Council seemed to be spread worldwide until a about two centuries ago, when it was suddenly decided to withdraw support to the overseas houses and focus all energies on the Headquarters in England. About the same time, they started the doctrine of isolating the Slayers, so I can only assume that the two are interconnected.”

makes sense - England was a class-ridden society at the time so its members would have had an elite & arrogant outlook

“Not to mention, some people,” She paused just long enough to raise her own hand. “don’t like schools. Even if it was a ‘privilege’ to be invited, you’d never see me walk though the doors.”
“So, what do you suggest?” Giles asked.
“A summer program.” Sam offered after a moment.

Faith & Sam work real well together
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twelve" from lucyferr
Review:
We have also given you access to records that the previous Council had no knowledge of. Use the information well. We will be in touch.

ah.

“Well, you said that the Pact stated that they were supposed to care for the Slayers, but if they’ve been around all this time, why did they let the Council get away with all of that?”

good q

“Dawn, meet Samantha Carter.” Buffy introduced. “My mother.”
“Hi.” Dawn held her hand out to shake. Sam shook it, a little surprised at how easily the girl accepted this sudden change in her life. “So, are we going with you?”

Isnt Sam biologically Dawn's mum too?

It was worse the second time, because she had thrown her sister out. Now there was this rift between them that she didn’t know how to get across.
“Dawn?” Buffy looked at her curiously.
“I-I-I’m sorry, Buffy.” Dawn’s voice was weak and shaking. “I know th-things have b-been bad, and you p-probably don’t believe m-me, but I don’t w-want you t-t-to go away again.” She took a deep breath, trying to control herself. “I’m sorry we kicked you out. Please don’t leave me.”

aww, kinda... Dawn's gonna be real different after this, probably in a better way
Comments from author:
Okay, while I love reading your reviews, I don't comment much because you seem to jump all over the place, but I have to answer this one.

Buffy introduced Sam to Dawn the way she did, because Sam has no memories of Dawn being anything other than Buffy's sister, and, since Sam has no memories of giving birth to her, that can only mean (to her) that she's Joyce's bio daughter. She'll be told the truth at a later date.
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from lucyferr
Review:
"...until we get clearance for Mr. Giles, he cannot hear this.”
“You must be kidding.” Buffy said. “Anything you tell us, we’re just going to tell him anyway.”
“Ms. Summers...”
“Look, your secrets are no bigger than ours, and obviously we kept those.” She interrupted. “So, what’s the problem? Do you really think we’re gonna on prime time news with this stuff?”
General Hammond looked discomfited. Unfortunately, everything that she’d said was true. “Regardless, I will want those papers all signed. I will have the documents for Mr. Giles’ signature here by morning.”

I thought Hammond was a flexible type, used to dealing with situations beyond the norm? He's behaving like a total woolsey here

Out of the 50 possibilities, both human and non-human, only 3 had been willing to listen to his proposition after discovering the identity of the target. Half had refused to make an enemy of the Red Witch, as she was known in the supernatural world, and the others had refused on the basis that the Slayer had already defeated the most highly successful and ruthless assassin organization in both the natural and supernatural world.

enemies give the most sincere compliments

He had enough accessible money to fund this himself

yep Prez really boobooed there

“Wow, aliens are real?” Buffy asked wide-eyed.
“You made a stable wormhole?” Willow squeaked at the same time.

lol priorities

We need someplace that can be considered neutral territory.

I recommend Antarctica

Logging in, she noticed something odd. “Umm, Giles, you might want to come and look at this.”
“What is it, Willow?” Giles asked.
“I think it’s the Council’s records.”

that's too fast - why didnt she find those before?
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from lucyferr
Review:
“How long have they been together?” Sam asked Faith as they watched the Slayer and the witch talk quietly.
“They’re not.” Faith smirked.
Sam was surprised, and her expression showed it clearly. They gave off the impression of a well devoted couple.
“Yeah, I know.” Faith said. “Kinda obvious, ain’t it? They’ve never been a couple, though.”
“I never realized it before,” Anya added. “but they fit together really well. It’s almost like they were made for each other, but had to grow into it. I’ve seen it happen before.”

Hope we see more Sam-Faith interaction

“Now, hold on, Slayer.” Whistler began. “You can’t threaten The Powers That Be.”
“Yes, I can. And what’s more, I’ll find a way to fulfill that threat... If I was the type they were so afraid of, if I had known what they were doing to me, I would have quit working for them like I quit working for the Watcher’s Council.”

Hope she finds a way to fulfil it

would be cool to have got some PTB pov up in Mt Olympus or wherever the PTBs live

President Hayes is determined that there never be another catastrophe like The Initiative, and God forbid any of our other enemies learn of the Slayer.”

how can the Prez be trusted if he left Kinsey alive? What use is the CIA if not for assassinations?

She wondered if children actually saw the monsters that they were so scared of when they were young, or if it was genetic memory working to keep them alive and out of the dark places where those monsters dwelled

i like the genetic memory idea

... had become a well known enemy of the System Lords, and had decided that Buffy was better off with Joyce. Even if she died on a mission, there was a letter in a safe deposit box addressed to Buffy, but she never, never thought that she might outlive her child.

that makes sense
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from lucyferr
Review:
“Now, hold on just one damned minute, here.” General Hammond demanded. “I want answers. I want to know where we are, who they are, and how we got here.”
“Cool your jets, Grampa.” Faith sneered, his attempt to retake control of the situation rubbing her the wrong way. He was the one trespassing on their turf. He had no right to make demands in her book.

Faith vs Hammond aka street girl slayer meets the american military complex... where's me popcorn?

Anya turned to Whistler, who was looked oddly shocked at her appearance. “Well, well, well, it’s been a long time, Chatty Kathy. You know, I’m still not all that sure how you managed to talk me out of fulfilling that wish.”
“Hello, Anyanka.” The Balance Demon said a little nervously.

Chatty Kathy? Making Whistler nervous? I love Anya. Wouldn't want to get anywhere near her, but she's lovely to read about

"Before we get down to business, why don’t you tell us why you felt it necessary to bring these fine folks, Whistler, especially since it was you that intercepted the notice of Joyce’s death.”

Okay, now I'd be willing to get up c & p w/Anyanka...

He was so focused on her that he didn’t see the fist that slammed into his jaw, knocking him off his feet. Janet, General Hammond and Major Davis watched in shock as Sam grabbed the demon by the lapels of his coat and yanked him to his feet.
“You mean to tell me that you’re the reason that I didn’t know my best friend had died?” Sam snarled. “That my daughter was left to fend for herself and raise her sister alone? That she died when we could have helped her?!? What kind of sick game are you people playing here?”

...ah bliss.... also, good for Buffy to see her mama going all Mama Bear for her

“Tests?” Buffy suddenly said, hoarsely. Everyone turned to see that she was pale and swaying shakily. “They were ‘tests’.”

ouch... ps good that Anya explained why the PTBs needed tests - most authors would just leave it as the PTBs being all PTB-y.

“So, you’re Buffy’s mom, huh?” Faith whispered to Sam. The Air Force officers started in surprise. They hadn’t seen or heard her approach. “I think she could use a mother-type right about now, don’t you?

Faith's a good sista

Whistler couldn’t look her in the eye. He had no answers to give her. He had tried to tell The Powers, over and over, that it was too much, but they refused to listen. They were convinced that the ‘tests’ that they subjected her too would not only keep her adhered to her duty, but strengthen her as well. Buffy looked devastated.

You know... it's all very horrifying, but we don't know that the PTBs were wrong.

I recognized it because I’ve had it happen to me by an old boyfriend, but you wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to warn you.

yep... glad Faith tells her quietly

"Just like I wasn’t kidding when I said that you could have been their Greatest Champion. But they screwed up their chance, and now Osiris is going to make you the Champion you should have been all along.”

Osiris doesnt give either B or W a choice either, eh?

right that's the last of the long reviews i hope
Review By [lucyferr] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Not Rated
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