Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Runaway

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Prologue" from (Recent Donor)DonSample
Review:
A couple of comments:

1) "Invisible breeze" Is there any other kind? I have yet to see one.
2) Jack may be getting a little jaded, but mysterious vanishing girls with black eyes isn't the sort of thing that would just slip from his mind, or is something else going on there?
Comments from author:
1. The invisible breeze versus the one that is visibly making little waves on the lake and moving the grass, etc.

2. That last paragraph does need some tweaking doesn't it to better explain why he doesn't immediately get on the phone to get Carter or someone out to his cabin ASAP to go alien/Willow hunting when Willow disappears. His actions will be explained later/eventually. I promise.
Review By [(Recent Donor)DonSample] • Date [3 Nov 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from windsorw
Review:
I like the opening so far, with a bit of Jack and then his encounter with a Willow who is apparently still struggling with the dark mojo. This was a very brief piece, but I like the tone and presentation. I'll look forward to seeing where you go with this one.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the comments.
Review By [windsorw] • Date [3 Nov 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prologue" from link
Review:
Is the bird is actually Willow? Although I usually don't read fic where there is a character death, I decided to give your fic a chance. Just put a warning at the beginning of the chapter when the character dies, okay. A slayer hunted Willow? Is it Buffy? Please don't make it Buffy. Overall, I like the setup in the beginning. Please continue.
Comments from author:
Is the bird Willow? Not at this point. Who/what it is will be revealed later.

As far as character deaths go... I don't do gratuitous character deaths/torture.

Thanks for the comments.
Review By [link] • Date [3 Nov 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from MarbleGlove
Review:
Very interesting start. I look forward to seeing where you go from here.
Review By [MarbleGlove] • Date [3 Nov 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prologue" from (Recent Donor)MissingAuthor
Review:
Now that was attention getting... really good start... hope you continue it!

Wispr
Review By [(Recent Donor)MissingAuthor] • Date [3 Nov 07] • Not Rated
start back Page: 4 of 4
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking