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Review of chapter "Chase" from TheatricalBarrister
Nice chapter. Very typical of Keith Mars to both call Veronica about that and to already be tracking her via her phone. You did a nice job of keeping the action and intensity of the scene flowing.
Review By [TheatricalBarrister] • Date [29 Feb 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chase" from AllenPitt
The grail comment was funny---those guys need to consider upgrading their weapons a little bit....
Makes you wonder what will happen to Veronica on "day 2" ...heh-
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [27 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Relocate" from TheatricalBarrister
Wow, this is moving very fast. I take it (from some of your responses to other reviews) that this story isn't going to end after Glory is taken care of, so I guess I'm okay with it moving so fast--it's just that it seemed like it was around a month into S5 when Veronica met the scoobies, she did a little research, etc., etc., (which seemed from my perspective to take no more than a few hours), then suddenly Glory has only a few hours left to open the portal with the key, and does Glory know that Dawn's the key, and if so, how did she find out? [Sorry for the run on sentence, there--I'm too lazy to rewrite it right now ;-)]

In response to your comment about knowing what is going on (in relation between the Scoobies and AI), if you look at the episode page for many of the episodes of either BtVS or AtS on wikipedia, at the bottom of the page is a table showing the order that things are taking place in relationship to each other on both shows (and in the comics and books, too), for a period of a few months to either side of the episode. At one point, I saw a guide (I thought on wikipedia) that had every episode of both shows and the suggested viewing order to watch them in to get everything in sequence, but can't find it right now. So, you could find the first episode where they go to Pylea (Belonging [A2.19] is where Cordy goes to Pylea), there is a sequence summary at the bottom. (See .) Hope this helps some.
Comments from author:
With VM's arrival in this fic, I diverge pretty quickly from canon. When Buf says "...snake saw Dawn", Glory found out. In canon, they're at the Magic Box w/ Giles, who drives Buf so they catch the snake; here, Buf ended up being w/ Dawn at home. Glory's discovery lets her attack immediately. This is all happening in the same day; I want this chase segment to be fast-paced and panicky, but when we approach finale-esque events, I'll take time drawing out the action/horror/drama, because that's all the best stuff.

It's just much easier integrating one character quickly like this, then "next season" have it ease the transition for others, as well as having set up some extreme situations to exploit, i.e. Joyce's illness, Riley's inadequacy, money stuff, and Spike/Buffy. All of which I hope to cover with lots of snark and angst and pain, plus some detectiving. :)

Thanks for the info on the AI stuff! I may incorporate them a bit later on, and I'll definitely be using those resources.
Review By [TheatricalBarrister] • Date [16 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Relocate" from AllenPitt
I've seen at least one fanfic where when trapped at the station under siege by the knights, somebody just phones the cops. Who arrive in huge numbers to arrest the 'weird cult that is attacking innocent winnebago people', best not mention the W., since it's stolen.....
now if somebody would just shoot Ben, their problems are solved....
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [16 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Revisit" from AllenPitt
hm, though hopefully they'll still get Giles reinstated (with full back pay!) and with VM there, make sure that the slayer gets a salary also --having to drop out of college & work in fast food when you're the Savior of Earth is kind of silly---- (there's a fanfic where the US President is briefed on the slayer & goggles at Riley when told the slayer works for minimum wage in a fast food joint.... they hire her as a consultant at $200.00/hour (she thinks they're offering her $200 a week, at first, very funny scene)-
Anyway -- the council needs her more than she needs them, by far...she should leverage that. Next: Faith isn't doing anyone any good in prison, maybe breaking her out early would help? Or get the council to use its influence to free her, on parole....two slayers are better than one, and stuff (though I doubt B. would go for it) --- 3rd--ask for help!!! Angel Investigations is out there.
Comments from author:
Heh, I think I've read that fic. The money issue will be resolved later, and a bit differently.

Faith. Hmm. You know, I've always wondered why they didn't bring in everyone to deal with Glory, though I guess it wasn't as feasible TV-wise, and everything was happening pretty fast. Which will also be true here. Putting in Faith would, to the Scoobies, be adding another unknown variable to watch out for. I do love Faith's character though, so she may come in later.

Yes, Angel Inv. is out there. Aren't they 'out there' in Pylea or something? I never watched all of AtS, so I never have a good grasp of where certain characters are at, relationship-wise and mentally, I guess. It always seems to be changing. So, sorry, there's going to be limited involvement on that side for now.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [16 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Revisit" from (Current Donor)Tempi
Excellent chapter.

It looks like the Scoobies are finally getting someone with a different approach to non-supernatural research than beating up Willy. Veronica will make an excellent addition to the team. However I'm really looking forward to her explaining it to her father and his reaction.

Keep up the good work
Comments from author:
Review By [(Current Donor)Tempi] • Date [16 Feb 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Revisit" from CPTSkip
Ah, it is so much fun to watch Veronica in full-on Veronica-PI mode. She is like a force of nature. But a lot cuter. Lol! And I like how quickly she is fitting into the Scooby Gang. I guess a group nicknamed "the Scooby Gang" really needs to have at least one real detective member. Now they just need a van...
Comments from author:
Does a Winnebago count? ;)
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [16 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Reveal" from Marcel
Woo... just discovered this. Love it! Veronica's reaction was perfect :) And her new decision to fully trust what Tara says - perfect :)

[Typo: "right out of thin area" - you mean "thin air".]
Comments from author:
Ack, thanks for the catch. And the review!
Review By [Marcel] • Date [15 Feb 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Reveal" from AllenPitt
This is embarrassing--VM is a fountain of good ideas that the scoobies should have had (though they were really not suspicious of Ben at all at that time, I think)..
It'd be interesting to see what a background check would reveal about Ben. Also -- are documents on Dawn all set up in the state (birth certificate etc) or is it only a 'local' effect? I'm pretty sure her dad knows about her, ie in S6 she mentions expecting a call from him....
* Funny if they get to comparing the evilness of mayors ......
Comments from author:
Dawn's pretty much covered, paper-wise. I don't have any plans on exploiting that angle, yet.
Good point on the evilness. There's going to be some fun discussions in the future.

If all goes well, this story will make it through the Glory plot, then to a new season, so we'll see more of both Mars getting into Scoobying, and providing their much-needed detective expertise.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [15 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Set-up" from thecrystalkey
This story rock so hard. Keep it up.
Comments from author:
Review By [thecrystalkey] • Date [15 Feb 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Set-up" from AllenPitt
ah, Spike. Yep, he's good for a 'show and tell' scooby session.... hm, the scoobies suck at telling this stuff--probably because they only interact with people in the know, or people who have just gone through a vampire or demon attack---
* Now it'd be great if Spike has read VM's dad's book and knows all the details of the case....
Thinking about it (switching topics)--VM probably could be useful trying to track Glory. ie she's in an apartment somewhere, a PI checking for recent arrivals in Sunnydale fitting that desc. might turn up an address....
Comments from author:
yeah, if only everyone could be Oz. but I think they understand V's personality a bit, and wouldn't just say, "vampires are real, and there's this girl who Slays them" because that would just start her off with major reservations about their mentalities, and go down from there. revealing clues and letting her rationalize in a way that's favorable to them, on the other hand...

and yes, VM could be useful for a lot of things. Ever wonder how much quicker the Scoobies would figure things out if they had connections like Angel & his P.I. biz? Beating up Willy can only go so far.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [15 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Parallel" from war
good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Review By [war] • Date [15 Feb 08] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Parallel" from CPTSkip
Interesting conversation. I look forward to seeing Veronica freak in front of the Scoobies. Or will her steely will power overwhelm her "Holy S**t!" reaction? Lol!
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [15 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Parallel" from AllenPitt
For a second there I thought B. was going to pick up the refrigerator. Something like that is a lot easier to show that way.... but now I'm curious. This isn't just "oh, Tara has a friend, let's tell her, too!" ---they're "bringing her in" for a reason, probably a P.I. type reason.
what is it...."find Glory's alternate body, her 'prison of flesh and bone'" ?
Comments from author:
Nah, nothing so sinister. We're not that far into the Glory plot Shadow, immediately following Fool for Love, they're still trying to figure out who that crazy monk-killing lady is. Among other things...
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [14 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Roundabout" from CPTSkip
I am totally impressed with your channeling of the Veronica spirit. The line: Like I'm a sponge, and someone forgot to put the holes in me, so I'm a...deficient sponge. It is perfect Veronica-speak. I just hope she doesn't freak out too badly when Giles does his whole "One girl ..." thingie. Will Dawn be showing up? Or will she show up as Veronica's sister? Lol! Oh, please have Mac come and visit. She and Willow must have been non-identical twins separated at birth. I obviously don't mean literally since Mac was accidentally switched at birth and all and switching twins would just be ... really hard. Anyway, great stuff and I hope you keep it coming.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [14 Feb 08] • Not Rated
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