Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Dungeon Monk Xander Origin

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter 7: Changing Times" from ivanjedi
Review:
Ugh! Of all the people you could bring in, it had to be the Tollan. In the show, with the exception of Narim, the whole lot of them had stick shoved so high up their assess they needed to chew on them to talk, and you bring them to the Gang? Granted, having the crap beaten out of them would teach them some humility, but are you completely sure you want sch a royal pain in the Gang's proverbial... posterior?
Review By [ivanjedi] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7: Changing Times" from Rob
Review:
Very nice new cross. Hope the snakes are in a nasty woods.
Review By [Rob] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7: Changing Times" from Bobboky
Review:
very good work
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7: Changing Times" from DaBear
Review:
Yay! I am very happy to see more chapters for your stories.
Review By [DaBear] • Date [29 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from Gideon
Review:
Cool story. Xander and his friends will soon have a conglomeration of all the powers in all the various realities. Should come in handy. Not to mention a collection of allies. Maybe they will find Data from ST:TNG soon, to help out Rommie? I hope they don't find any bad guys who have been cloned into these dungeons.
And Faith seems to have found a better balance to her new powers than she ever did in cannon. I like that she won't be alone either. I wonder how many potentials will be turning up in Sunnydale any time now. Rommie might be customising a whole bunch more of those Iron Man Armors real soon now.
I see you have also started a rewrite of this story. I look forward to reading it.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [28 Dec 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from CageFire
Review:
This is an awesome story, I wonder why you decided to rewrite it... Well, maybe you thought they were getting too powerful too quickly? I mean a dozen or so ZPMs?(You didn't give an exact number), those are like the most powerful energy source anywhere, well, at least that I'm familiar with. At least that's how they make it out in stargate. Although it seems to vary. I mean 3 of them powered atlantis's shield to hold back an ocean for like 1,000-10,000 years or something, I can't remember how long, and yet they seem to be able to deplete them in a season or less, then again I can't remember if they had a full charge. It was kinda confusing. I mean the jumpers had built-in cloaking devices that lasted indefinitely, but converting them to a shield really drained power, yet the earth ships could have shields all they wanted, but a cloak required a ZPM. Maybe the shields on the ship are just less of a gas-guzzler? Or maybe the cloak for the earth ship is just scarily inefficient?

Anyway, I got off topic there. But a whole federation starship, and all that. I do kinda think it was too much too fast. It's the same mistake many fic writers make, giving them the best tech and powers all at first, instead of giving them some of the lowest tech stuff first, then gradually getting better and better tech. Like some of those harry potter/stargate atlantis crossovers where harry gets all the knowledge and powers of the ancients as well as a fully powered city ship with a virtually unlimited supply of ZPMS which apparently has asgard transporter and matter replication technology, oh not to mention friendly under control replicator bugs that do his bidding. Frankly, it doesn't leave much room to go anywhere, if you start out with the best of the best. Although I can understand the appeal, I often dream about having the best of the best technology and being able to do almost miraculous things. The problem is it doesn't make for a very long story. It's more... Show up, smite enemies in seconds, solve every major problem in a few days, leave. I rather like the ones where he starts out with the knowledge of the ancients, but has to build things from scratch gradually.

Anyway, I'll definitely be tuning in to future chapters of the rewrite, and be looking forward to when he finally /does/ get to the best stuff, and enjoying the journey on the way. :) After all, a little struggle makes the end result so much more satisfying. I recently started playing minecraft and I started out using programs to cheat and quickly grew bored, yet when I started a new game and played without cheating(for the most part unless something disastrous happened), I found I enjoyed the game much better. Although again, I'm starting to get bored, so I hope they add some new content soon. Again, off topic.

Keep up the great work on the rewrite, and I'll be looking forward to reading more. :)
Review By [CageFire] • Date [26 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 1: The DM and the Charmed Ones" from ivanjedi
Review:
Arrgh! This is all your fault!!! I decided to read this in its entirety ( I read the first chapter before, thought the whole thing too wacky, and wrote it off) And i now can't stop trying to come up with a plot that can allow me to use something like your 'dungeon' system with sci - fi theme!

Anyway, annoyed rants aside, I can't help to be impressed as to how you manage to bring together universes that seem incompatible. But you don't seem to be able to give the power boosts gradually. it always seems to be one large leap thing. I mean, seriously. beat crazy rabbits = spaceship, beat unarmed asgard = ZPMs? Could you possibly make it any easier for the good guys?
Comments from author:
Haha :) I'm glad you find the plot catching. Actually what you said is true, I sort of lost my way with this fic and was quite disatisfied with it when I read through it. I've been toying with the idea of rewriting the story but it's such a tedious under taking that I feel defeated before I ever started. Partly the reason why I hadn't updated the fic in a while.

But your review got me thinking :p and I decided that it's high time I get my gear into action rewriting Dungeon Monk Xander. Doing a rewrite is at least much better than stuck with no updates. Hopefully I'll do a better job this time round. Thanks for your interest in this fic :D If you've any ideas, feel free to share.
Review By [ivanjedi] • Date [14 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 1: The DM and the Charmed Ones" from ThomasS
Review:
I rather liked Phantom Brave. It had a nice story and interesting game mechanics.

The dungeon system did lead to some HORRIBLE abuses though. Especially if you used the 'Fake' title and abused the loophole in the leveling system.
Review By [ThomasS] • Date [25 Oct 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from sinkun
Review:
hey hope this isnt dead
Review By [sinkun] • Date [15 Sep 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from nublar
Review:
this is the second time i've read this and i'm still hoping you'll finish it. i love this and your forbidden seals story. thanks for the great read.
Review By [nublar] • Date [19 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from Genuka
Review:
Nice mix. I look forward to seeing what else you do with this.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [9 Apr 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from (Recent Donor)Hawklan
Review:
Chapter 5: Lineage of Powers


AHH the Fates are in Play now and we have a Jedi in the game.....



Chapter 6: Home Base 2

Nice work Rommy did on Homebase 2, but why Asgard as Enemies? Goa'uld I could
understand and now we have Faith in the story *g*.
Review By [(Recent Donor)Hawklan] • Date [25 Mar 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from sunamee
Review:
Another great update. I look forward to seeing the next one. Looks like Xander in this story is closer to having his own ship than your Master of Forbidden Seal story.

I like both stories and hope you will continue to update both.
Review By [sunamee] • Date [1 Jan 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from CrystalBlaze
Review:
I'm not surprised that Rommie regards the Materia as semi-sentient.

Materia are solidifcations of the power of the Lifestream. This is why tuned Mako reactors made starters for utility Materia while unique ones came about in distant parts of the Final Fantasy Seven world.

The Lifestream being the river of souls and essence of life, any concentration of its energies would have a life of its own, however static in form.

One does, naturally, wonder exactly what Rommie made of a bar with a "terrorist" hideout in the basement..
Comments from author:
:D yeah I always thought Materia are semi alive since they are created from the life stream. :p As for 7th Heaven? well that depends on which 7th Heaven is in the home base 2. During the FFVII timeline, 7th Heaven was a "terrorist" hideout, I am not sure if Tiffa and the other's still store wepaons and bombs in the bar after the events of Final Fantasy Advert Children though. I was under the impression that Tiffa started taking in orphans, so most likely she wouldn't be letting weapons lie around.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [22 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6: Home Base 2" from Richardthrnnsx
Review:
Nice to see another chapter. Thanks for sharing
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review!
Review By [Richardthrnnsx] • Date [21 Dec 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
start back Page: 2 of 7 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking