Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from spring
Love the story. I do however think that Xander was being way more mature in this story than he was in the show at this point.
Review By [spring
] • Date [10 Jun 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Morgomir
Nice story. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir
] • Date [9 Apr 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from MamaLadyWolf
I like it. I would like to see more of the story and see what else would happen. Please Write more I would love to read it. Thanks,
Review By [MamaLadyWolf
] • Date [22 Jan 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from QundraDraconum
I like it. The outcome of the argument is a bit unrealistic; even if Xander does have a point I don't see Buffy just flopping completely like that. After a few arguments maybe, but not after just one short one. Even if she was horrified about almost killing her friend, I don't see her justifying sending Angel away that easily. Giles yes, Buffy no.
I love the idea of Xander as a child of the gods. I wish you had done more with that, and expanded that aspect of the story more.
overall, good work.
Review By [QundraDraconum
] • Date [19 Jan 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from angelkitty
Review By [angelkitty
] • Date [28 Dec 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from lillyb
i am very annoyed at you. why did you have to write such a great story. instead of going to bed an hour ago like i should have i stayed up reading. that's right you wrote such a great story that i am missing sleep to read it. seriously though i love the work you did and would gladly louse sleep for a continuation. i do think you were a little hard on Angel i look at him like someone with a split personality and isn't totally responsible for his actions, however did get off way to easy.
Review By [lillyb
] • Date [11 Dec 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from darkwwwish
i REALLY like this story. I hope to see more mixing of the xena-buffy mythos and characters . Love the Dig at Angel there . He was very annoying in the show as angel, angelus was more interesting as a character :P
You know, I got to the end of what you have written of this story and went to look for more written by you... and you are just getting started as a writer! So *go you* YAY! *Congrats*!!!
I can't write. I salute you as one who can... very well I might add! Thank you for your story and I hope you go on to write many more.
Review By [darkwwwish
] • Date [21 Oct 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Elleria
This is very good. Are you going to write a sequel by any chance? Please?
Review By [Elleria
] • Date [21 Oct 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from dogbertcarroll
Started off good but went downhill as you did the standard cliches. Not that there is anything really wrong with them, but you hammed them up a bit and threw them in a little too quick. You need to do things with a bit more subtlety and a lot more detail.
Review By [dogbertcarroll
] • Date [18 Oct 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from kayron
I enjoyed the story of Xander discovering his birthright, and learning that he has a destiny. My favorite part was when Willow stood by her friend, instead of with Buffy. I hope there is a sequel. I would like to see how Xander deals with Aphrodite. How will Xander do with having an actual concerned parent (Haephestes). And hey, Mayor McSnake is heading for an ascension (hint, hint). :o)
Review By [kayron
] • Date [16 Oct 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Son of the Gods" from anpu
excellent and intelligent story. It's scoobies not scobbies. Please recheck the spelling. And you're right about the mythology stories. FYI there were 3 versions of Electra's story.
Review By [anpu
] • Date [16 Oct 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from AonGealach
Great story I can't wait for you to post more!!
Review By [AonGealach
] • Date [16 Oct 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Illiandyandra
THank you so very much. I enjoyed this Story and I am hoping very much for a sequel. I want to thank you not just for the story, but for the fact that you went back to the relationships of the show at that time. You made clear the fact that somant people seem to forget, before Buffy showed up it was Willow and Xander and Jesse against the world. Why does every one now seem to paint it that Willow was just waiting to get other friends before dropping Xander like a bad habit. I LOVE the fact that you kept Willow well Willow. She stuck Xander, come hell and high water, as it should have been.
Review By [Illiandyandra
] • Date [16 Oct 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from slmncpm
so far i like it, everyone has talked about the quote marks so i won't bother, my only advice is would be please, please, PLEASE don't let buffy and xander get together. i really do NOT like that pairing. sheesh.
Review By [slmncpm
] • Date [16 Oct 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from missinglink
Good work, but not great. Solid effort and good build.
Couple of Questions or points that need addressing.
1) Assuming we are in Season 3 as it appears you have placed things, what happened to the Fluke and its results? Cordy seemed too friendly in your use and was with Oz and Willow when they arrived. Her animosity for Willow was only equaled by her lothing of Xander for what they did. Add to that Willow was closer to him as you portrayed than cannon would put. She was distancing herself from him to preserve her relationship with Oz which wasn't evident.
2) Where's Faith? Even if she isn't going to be a part of this story, you need to address it somehow. Whether you simply put it in the notes or just have her off doing something else like the show seemed to do too much that season. Not a big thing, but she was a dynamic to the group and how they were reacting to each other.
3) Not to be tacky, but the whole part of Jenny appearing is a decent plot device, but it comes off as hokey. Not sure if you shouldn't just reedit this and leave her ghost out of it altogether. Again, understand the reason, just the execution of it comes off goofy and not a part of the story.
4) You do not need to use " " to break off each sentence. If you are having one person speaking with no other direction or other person speaking then there need only be one " to open it and one " to close it. This is just a picky grammer thing that was bugging me and it really doesn't detract that much from the story, but it is noticible as you continue to read thru the chapters.
5) There was a WIP story out there that dealt with similar concept as you with Hephaestus and Xander. Not sure if they were father & son, but think it was more that Xander was a diciple of his and hs leg became lame after calling on his gift. Some Buffy/Xander stuff if memory serves as he made a hand carved stake with metal work. Giles getting after Xander about his items being imbued with power and being careful who got them as they could help evil just as easily as good. If you can find it I recommend reading it. The writer had an interesting take and flow to his writing that you might look at. Not immulate per say, but see what he did that you like versus not and try and incorporate or reinvent as necessary.
Overall a good start and decent take, but it does need polish and work to make it better. Keep it up and hope there is more to come.
Review By [missinglink
] • Date [16 Oct 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]