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Review of chapter "Pranks, fainting and secrets out." from EasterCat
Review:
I just started reading this and this is bugging me. Are you going to explain why Dawn, who isn't a religious nut, doesn't get an abortion? Because she strikes me as smart enough to find an abortion provider, etc.
I realize the point of the story would be lost. However, seeing all these stories where someone gets pregnant, yet there's no reasonable explanation for why they don't get an abortion, is starting to aggravate me.
Comments from author:
Lol I will do, let's just say some higher powers (Monks) didn't won't her too...I.E - powerful son
Review By [EasterCat] • Date [28 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Connor's reaction" from Eureka
Review:
Glad you had Cordie tell him. LOL
So things are going good and Uncle Snape shows up and he KNOWS Buffyis the slayer...Oh boy things are starting to get hot in there! So hopefully Buff doesn't go hostile on him cause that would be a whole world of hurt! Snape has been hurt enough I would think with being the spy for Dumbles on Voldie...Hopefully they can sit down (relatively speaking) and talk or yell this out and he can get Buffy to understand that he couldn't be there and why.
Comments from author:
Thank you :) and i think there will be yelling then talking
Review By [Eureka] • Date [26 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Connor's reaction" from ChaosLady
Review:
Glad things worked out for the better. But things ought to get interesting fast again. Great update!
Comments from author:
Thank you :) and with Snape involved it will be ;)
Review By [ChaosLady] • Date [25 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Buffy's reaction" from Eureka
Review:
Writer's Block? I didn't see no Writer's Block! What I saw was a very insightful talk between sisters that took a LOT of thought to write. A lot of sisters are that way. They won't speak up for fear that they won't be liked anymore. Heck that is anyone not just sisters. Great chapter now she just has to get past Connor without him yelling anymore at her. That really wouldn't be good for their child. Someone should let him know that before she gets over there to talk to him.
Comments from author:
Thank you :) your comment made me smile. I'm glad that I got the sister talk right as I don't have a sister. And that's a good idea, maybe Cordelia should tell him before they leave ;)
Review By [Eureka] • Date [11 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Buffy's reaction" from ChaosLady
Review:
You worked through it just fine. The chapter's good. Not the best I ever read but there was some deep stuff in there. Keep up the good work!
Comments from author:
Thank you :) I don't like the chapter much, but it necessary for the next part
Review By [ChaosLady] • Date [11 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Buffy's reaction" from kaekae
Review:
perfect :)
Comments from author:
Lol finally :P Nah I understand now, now Dawn is shocked at the statement about her being a horrible sister
Review By [kaekae] • Date [10 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Buffy's reaction" from kaekae
Review:
Unless Dawn suddenly developed telepathy (and Buffy knew it), your edit still wouldn't help. (and it would unnecessarily change the point of view).
I think if Buffy said something with the gist of "you were afraid to tell me? Am I that horrible a sister?" (and if Buffy sounded like she was going to cry (instead of sounding harsh)
Then Dawn could say "how could you think that?"
Comments from author:
Telepathy? it's not Dawn's view just anyones. But thanks for the comment.

Plus there is a bit with this



“You were too scared to tell me? Your own sister?” Buffy asked a slight harshness to her voice.

“What? How could you think that?” Dawn gasped in shock.
Review By [kaekae] • Date [10 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Buffy's reaction" from kaekae
Review:
I think something is missing. This passage doesn't make that much sense.

“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you. I promise. But I got scared. With the idea of you rejecting me. And…and the disappointed faces….leaving you. It was such a surprise that I panicked. I’m so sorry.”
...
“You were too scared to tell me? Your own sister?” Buffy asked, a slight harshness to her voice.
“What? How could you think that?” Dawn gasped in shock.


The reason she could think that is because Dawn just said straight out it. I think a line about buffy thinking she is a horrible person/sister may be missing.
Comments from author:
Thank you :) I was going to read through it late to check again,

How about something like this

“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you. I promise. But I got scared. With the idea of you rejecting me. And…and the disappointed faces….leaving you. It was such a surprise that I panicked. I’m so sorry.”

Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing from her sister's mouth.

'How could she think that I would reject her? Why didn't she come to me? I know she said she panicked, but Dawn knew I wouldn't disown her. Didn't she? I mean, I know i'm the slayer and evertything, but i've never harmed her. Okay, we had arguments and fought a few times. But never anything bad enough to make her afraid of me. Unless I did it unintentionally. Am I that bad of a sister that I've made my own flesh and blood scared to talk to me?' Buffy thought.
Review By [kaekae] • Date [10 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Up to christmas and surprises" from ChaosLady
Review:
Conner's the father!! Boy is everyone surprised.... including me! Wonderful story! Please keep going.
Comments from author:
Glad everyone was surprised and i didn't give it away....I will update friday :)
Review By [ChaosLady] • Date [4 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Up to christmas and surprises" from Eureka
Review:
Oh My Word! Connor is the Daddy????? I think Dawnie should have done as Remus said and told big sis that there was a bun in the oven....So everybody is there for Christmas and nobody knew so much fun! So many chances for mischief!
Hope everything is going good in classes and please don't forget about this story. I caught up 22 chapters in 12 hours and really would like to read the whole thing.
Comments from author:
Lol If Dawn took Remus advice it would have been no fun, this way i can mischief ;) Every thing is great in classed :) so means more chapters, I can't forget this story now i love it too much. Glad you liked it :)
Review By [Eureka] • Date [30 Jun 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Up to christmas and surprises" from cloudleonsgurl
Review:
That is so awesome! Is Connor the daddy? I didn't even think of him as a possible candidate, but now I see that he very well could be...oooh, this is so good. Can't wait to see more.
Comments from author:
Thank you, glad you liked it :) And yes he is the father, i had to change the story of his life a bit but that will be explained in the next chapter
Review By [cloudleonsgurl] • Date [29 Jun 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Up to christmas and surprises" from RAINXIA
Review:
omg omg omg!!!!!

Connor is the father? i squealed when i read that, not at all who i expected.... i love this story, please keep it coming. Poor Harry upset over what happened with Mr. Weasley......... he has no idea what is waiting for him.

I love the Luna\Draco pairing and hope dawn and the others find a way to protect Draco from LM, i hope we will see Dawn and the twins getting up to some antics and the blowout between Dawnie and Buffy.......

Update soon!!!!!!
Xia.
Comments from author:
Lol glad you like it :) trouble always follows Dawn and the twins, plus the blowout between the sisters will be big, but not as big as the one between Dawn and Connor. I'm just glad i kept Connor as the father from the start (in my mind)
Review By [RAINXIA] • Date [29 Jun 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Onward to Hogwarts and a encounter with the prince" from EasterCat
Review:
I had a hard time slogging through the first five chapters. Although you didn't have any obvious spelling or grammar issues, your writing is awkward and doesn't do a very good job of expressing the characters.
Also, there was no reason for you to lift Harry's scene with the Wizengamot from the movie. The scene could've been written from a different perspective or you could've just had the character's reactions afterwards. Personally, I think it's lazy writing.

ETA: thanks for the offer, but my schedule is too busy to allow me the time necessary to beta read. Thank you again for the offer.
Comments from author:
Thanks for your opinion, I was thinking of changing or revising some of the beginning chapter. I was wondering if you could be my beta
Review By [EasterCat] • Date [16 Jun 11] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Pansy, the Ice Princess" from Genuka
Review:
evil evil author. *shakes head and leaves before doing something Genuka's not supposed to do*
Comments from author:
:) i try my best to be evil
Review By [Genuka] • Date [25 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Pansy, the Ice Princess" from SwimmieTeam
Review:
Nice
Comments from author:
:)
Review By [SwimmieTeam] • Date [24 Apr 11] • Not Rated
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