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Xander Harris: Bad-Ass Wicca?

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Review of chapter "Well... This took a strange turn somewhere" from Chikageko
Review:
Your explanation on familiars isn't... entirely... accurate. It works well enough for the story and the bloodletting and incantation are correct but it's not just a vampire or vampire/vampire slayer who can do it, It's an open option to anyone with a little power. I assume you did some quicky research before writing that? The ceremonies different in almost every fic where there is one but those two items always remain. target familiar drinks your blood you say an incantation the target becomes loyal to you and you gain some of their power. Different things depending on what or who the target is.
Review By [Chikageko] • Date [25 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Warlocks Are A Bitch" from unicornzvi
Review:
The concept is intriguing and the story is technically well written. However while both chapter 1 and chapter 2 are each seperatly quite well written with believable characterization(with the exception of Xander not asking Buffy for some way to contact her) they do not fit together. Xander keeping his initial struggles with magic secret is quite believable, as is Xander managing to master the magic we see him use in chapter 2, however him keeping it secret from his friends at that point is NOT believable since he is quite a bit past the point where he can provide significant assistance with magic.
Review By [unicornzvi] • Date [27 Jun 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from VillageOrchid
Review:
very interesting twists...liked the side visit to the other dimension, and the transformation for the deamon into another biological being. Where did all of the energy go, though?
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 10: Dammit Cordelia! Just Shut Up!" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Continuing to enjoy both the plot and the character moments.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "What, you need a catchy title for every chapter?" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Lots of plot here.... but yeah I see who became the next slayer. Maybe she can guard the Clevland hellmouth?
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Well... This took a strange turn somewhere" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Sure, did. Not sure about how i feel about the familiar/renfield situation... but the motivations were plausible, and the storytelling good.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "If you kill a demon in a forest" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Enjoying how the plot is flowing from the character motivations.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "In which a whole lot happens quickly" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Lots of unexpected twists here. Pretty good stuff, I'm into less power stories, but you're being consistant with everything and keeping the characterization going. So I'll have to say that I like it.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "New Beginnings" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Earlier in the chapter, I thought maybe a restaurant, but yeah, I guess that works. They could have a pastry and coffee bar during the day???
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Warlocks Are A Bitch" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Some more interesting set up here. Giving Xander a chance to get away from the hellmouth earlier than cannon, helps him clear his head, and his head probably a bit of his heart values Giles.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Of Curses, Changes, and Charmed Ones" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Probably the best combo of a crossover that changes the main conintuity to AU plus a "fix" that I've ever seen. I like that Xander can be matter of fact with females who are his cousins without the hormones getting in the way. I like that they have enough respect for family and people in general to take the word of their younger cousin... who admittedly had been through family crap that the could relate to and belive in before he got to the other stuff. Also very interesting that Xander is going with an almost full disclosure policy to show them how important this is... their power level and the need to act fast to survive.
Finally I liked the dropped line about different breeds of vampires. I'd like to see Xander with some limitiations, and I like that you've set up that despite his affinity for magic he is only a shadow of power compaired to his cousins.
Thanks for sharing.
Comments from author:
They're probably the only ones who DON'T mess with his hormones. Plus, with his warning, they get into the swing of things faster. I should get that part of the story going...

With all the different stories out there (Hellsing, Underworld, etc. etc.), you can't write a good fic without that detail. Haven't found a use for them yet, but it's there if I need it.

He's more or less equal to any one of the Charmed Ones. Two of them means that power squares itself. A third = their power cubed. They're the most powerful force of magic on Earth.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
OK, firstly, I have to say that this made for a VERY interesting concept; the idea of Xander learning magic was actually not that bad, and the subsequent Triad between him, Tara and Faith should make for rather interesting reading as things go on (Plus, of course, Cha'iso made for a rather interesting villain in her way, to say nothing of the rather... amusing... method Xander used to defeat the Mayor).

However, I have two fundamental problems with this story despite that;

1. Xander knowing enough about magic to 'cleanse' himself after attempting to re-ensoul Angel. I'm fine with him doing it after he'd absorbed the spirits of those witches that the warlock killed- with that kind of 'download' it's only natural that his knowledge of magic would be significantly upgraded-, but doing it BEFORE he gets that knowledge just doesn't fit Xander's character; he's good with planning on a short-term basis- his plan to take out the Judge is proof enough of that-, but he's never struck me as a good long-term thinker- as reflected by his poor grades-, so it would have made a lot more sense if he'd performed the ritual on impulse and only learned how dangerous it was to do something like that on a Hellmouth AFTER the 'download'.

2. Buffy and Faith turning into 'uber-Slayers'. Putting aside the fact that the original transformation was only covered briefly and it didn't even have that much of an impact on the plot- it seems like the only thing them becoming 'uber-Slayers' really added was the need to defeat Chase, and even that wasn't that much of an issue-, you've basically taken away what makes Buffy and Faith particularly likeable by making them unstoppable; when they can't die, it takes away the risk element of what they do and just gives the impression that they're only helping people because they'd be bored otherwise rather than because it's the right thing to do.

The concept is intriguing, don't get me wrong, but you need to give the characters more flaws if you want to keep it interesting; make the heroes too strong and you make them too difficult for people to relate to, to say nothing of making them less appealing to your audience.

(I'd have appreciated more Angel, of course, but that's mostly based on personal preference rather than a flaw in your writing, so I'm prepared to ignore it)
Comments from author:
Okay, In order: Xander came across a book that walked him through cleansing rituals. Sort of a 'Cleansing for Dummies' thing. It's going to be mentioned in the next chapter of 'College Days'.

As for Faith and Buffy, if you've ever read/watched 'Hellsing', you'll know that kind of character can be a lot of fun. I'm not saying they'll become exactly like Alucard, but there are some parallels.

Thanks for reading!
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [7 Mar 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "New Beginnings" from purrfus
Review:
Interesting twists with Xander. The internal teacher and readily available advise is a nice touch.

Does the state of California really pay emancipated minors and in those kinds of amounts or is the cash payout a personal wish or plot device?
Comments from author:
Honestly? No idea. I was born and raised in Texas. As far as I'm concerned, it was a plot device.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [26 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Of Curses, Changes, and Charmed Ones" from purrfus
Review:
Not a Charmed ones fan, but for some reason I decided to give this a try.

So far so very good, and I'm looking forward to reading more. Lucky me I don't have to wait. ;)
Review By [purrfus] • Date [26 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Review:
Polymorph Other is such a useful spell for when your enemy fails his resistance role.
Comments from author:
Ain't it just? Olvikan, the rat. You gotta love it.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [20 Feb 09] • Not Rated
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