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Xander Harris: Bad-Ass Wicca?

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Review of chapter "In which a whole lot happens quickly" from VillageOrchid
Lots of unexpected twists here. Pretty good stuff, I'm into less power stories, but you're being consistant with everything and keeping the characterization going. So I'll have to say that I like it.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "New Beginnings" from VillageOrchid
Earlier in the chapter, I thought maybe a restaurant, but yeah, I guess that works. They could have a pastry and coffee bar during the day???
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Warlocks Are A Bitch" from VillageOrchid
Some more interesting set up here. Giving Xander a chance to get away from the hellmouth earlier than cannon, helps him clear his head, and his head probably a bit of his heart values Giles.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Of Curses, Changes, and Charmed Ones" from VillageOrchid
Probably the best combo of a crossover that changes the main conintuity to AU plus a "fix" that I've ever seen. I like that Xander can be matter of fact with females who are his cousins without the hormones getting in the way. I like that they have enough respect for family and people in general to take the word of their younger cousin... who admittedly had been through family crap that the could relate to and belive in before he got to the other stuff. Also very interesting that Xander is going with an almost full disclosure policy to show them how important this is... their power level and the need to act fast to survive.
Finally I liked the dropped line about different breeds of vampires. I'd like to see Xander with some limitiations, and I like that you've set up that despite his affinity for magic he is only a shadow of power compaired to his cousins.
Thanks for sharing.
Comments from author:
They're probably the only ones who DON'T mess with his hormones. Plus, with his warning, they get into the swing of things faster. I should get that part of the story going...

With all the different stories out there (Hellsing, Underworld, etc. etc.), you can't write a good fic without that detail. Haven't found a use for them yet, but it's there if I need it.

He's more or less equal to any one of the Charmed Ones. Two of them means that power squares itself. A third = their power cubed. They're the most powerful force of magic on Earth.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from MarcusSLazarus
OK, firstly, I have to say that this made for a VERY interesting concept; the idea of Xander learning magic was actually not that bad, and the subsequent Triad between him, Tara and Faith should make for rather interesting reading as things go on (Plus, of course, Cha'iso made for a rather interesting villain in her way, to say nothing of the rather... amusing... method Xander used to defeat the Mayor).

However, I have two fundamental problems with this story despite that;

1. Xander knowing enough about magic to 'cleanse' himself after attempting to re-ensoul Angel. I'm fine with him doing it after he'd absorbed the spirits of those witches that the warlock killed- with that kind of 'download' it's only natural that his knowledge of magic would be significantly upgraded-, but doing it BEFORE he gets that knowledge just doesn't fit Xander's character; he's good with planning on a short-term basis- his plan to take out the Judge is proof enough of that-, but he's never struck me as a good long-term thinker- as reflected by his poor grades-, so it would have made a lot more sense if he'd performed the ritual on impulse and only learned how dangerous it was to do something like that on a Hellmouth AFTER the 'download'.

2. Buffy and Faith turning into 'uber-Slayers'. Putting aside the fact that the original transformation was only covered briefly and it didn't even have that much of an impact on the plot- it seems like the only thing them becoming 'uber-Slayers' really added was the need to defeat Chase, and even that wasn't that much of an issue-, you've basically taken away what makes Buffy and Faith particularly likeable by making them unstoppable; when they can't die, it takes away the risk element of what they do and just gives the impression that they're only helping people because they'd be bored otherwise rather than because it's the right thing to do.

The concept is intriguing, don't get me wrong, but you need to give the characters more flaws if you want to keep it interesting; make the heroes too strong and you make them too difficult for people to relate to, to say nothing of making them less appealing to your audience.

(I'd have appreciated more Angel, of course, but that's mostly based on personal preference rather than a flaw in your writing, so I'm prepared to ignore it)
Comments from author:
Okay, In order: Xander came across a book that walked him through cleansing rituals. Sort of a 'Cleansing for Dummies' thing. It's going to be mentioned in the next chapter of 'College Days'.

As for Faith and Buffy, if you've ever read/watched 'Hellsing', you'll know that kind of character can be a lot of fun. I'm not saying they'll become exactly like Alucard, but there are some parallels.

Thanks for reading!
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [7 Mar 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "New Beginnings" from purrfus
Interesting twists with Xander. The internal teacher and readily available advise is a nice touch.

Does the state of California really pay emancipated minors and in those kinds of amounts or is the cash payout a personal wish or plot device?
Comments from author:
Honestly? No idea. I was born and raised in Texas. As far as I'm concerned, it was a plot device.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [26 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Of Curses, Changes, and Charmed Ones" from purrfus
Not a Charmed ones fan, but for some reason I decided to give this a try.

So far so very good, and I'm looking forward to reading more. Lucky me I don't have to wait. ;)
Review By [purrfus] • Date [26 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Polymorph Other is such a useful spell for when your enemy fails his resistance role.
Comments from author:
Ain't it just? Olvikan, the rat. You gotta love it.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [20 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from GreenDragon
Hmmm, interesting ending, although that whole "wishverse/alternate Xander" interlude didn't seem to have had any effect... what was that side trip all about? If it was just to learn about Amy the alternative rat and the spell that made her that way, then that makes a little more sense... but it feels like a lot of details were left out.

Still, all-in-all a pretty good story, hopefully there'll be more.
Comments from author:
Actually, that was build-up for later. Wishverse Xander has to learn a few things the hard way.
Review By [GreenDragon] • Date [19 Feb 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from spring
Wonderful. I love this whole fic. I found it very funny how Xander went to town on his wish-verse self, interesting how the other Xander wasn't as powerful. I really really love what you did to the mayor very very funny. I am extremely glad to know that you will be writing a sequel to this because so things just scream more to me. I have to wonder if Buffy and Giles are going to be able to live so far apart. Also has Faith suffered any ill effects from that box that helped the mayor become a Demon early? Again I love this wonderful fic please continue writing such wonderful fic's
Comments from author:
Okay, in order: Wishverse Xander was never possesed by the Hyena or Soldier. He doesn't have the same protective streak, or extra boost in power the Primal spirit gave our Xander.

Buffy and Giles should be able to spend as much time apart as they choose. Chase was away from her familiar the entire time she was in Sunnydale.

Faith is just fine. Once her energy was replenished, she was back to her Superslayer self. ...And I REALLY need a better name than Superslayer.

Thanks for reading!
Review By [spring] • Date [18 Feb 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from missinglink
Quality finish and liked the tie in of the whole ratting out the Mayor. Amy should have felt a twinge of something she couldn't identify at that moment or when she saw Dick the rat. That would have been the only real nice touch I think might have been missing.

Will definately be interested in follow ups to this. Would personally like some more cross with Charmed or maybe the Wishverse to spice things up. Something along the lines of a bloody and beaten Willow or Buffy asking Xander desperately for help with some ominous tone to it only to colapse from fatigue. All would be good.

Here's hoping the ideas remain fertile and as always, appreciate the fun time reading. Later.
Comments from author:
Ah, yes. The exhausted, beaten, pleading story. Nothing quite like it. Seriously, I love those. It has a certain sense of desperation. That can be fun.

And there will be Amy/Dick interactions. How can there not be?

I'll work Charmed in as best I can. It's not as easy as you might think. Wi- No, can't say the W word. GRANT me a little luck, and I'll see what I can do. :)

Till next time.
Review By [missinglink] • Date [18 Feb 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from thales
The end is a little anti climatic but unique nonetheless.

I look forward to, hopefully, a score of sequels!

Keep up the good work!
Comments from author:
How much is in a score, I wonder. I keep hearing the word, but I'm not sure.

*shrug* Ah, well.

More is coming, I assure you.
Review By [thales] • Date [18 Feb 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from Jess
Great job! Congratulations on finishing this story. It is going into my rec list! *HUGS*
Comments from author:
^_^ Thanks!
Review By [Jess] • Date [18 Feb 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from Crayshack
Yes to sequel.
Comments from author:
Duly noted. :)
Review By [Crayshack] • Date [18 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Time For The End" from Inquisitor
a bit anti-climatic but at least someone got turned into a rat...i'm wondering how much power that rat would be as a spell component considering it used to be a first circle demon...anyway since Buffy know's what's supposed to happen, i would had thought that she would had let Giles restart the council the way she wanted it to be and make sure that the Potentials are taken care of properly instead of being left vulnerable to be taken out by the First Evil...

anyway i assume that with Tara knocked up, the baby would be called Dawn...the monks can just hide the Key inside Dawn...i was hoping that Cordy would had to be knocked up by Xander to prevent Jasmine from showing up...also since Joyce isn't Dawn's mother anymore, she won't die early due to the monk's spell that had integrated her into their lives...
Comments from author:
Bah. Xander/Cordy is a doomed relationship. But, at the same time, Jasmine can't really come about anyway. Angel's dead. Even if I wind up putting Connor into the story, Holtz has no reason to take him to Quor'toth. And, even IF Cordy gets the visions, the PTB won't be able to futz with her because her Slayer essence would be able to handle the pressure. Trust me. Jasmine won't be happening.

On a lighter point, you're right about rat!Wilkins. He could indeed be a powerful spell component, given the right circumstances. And don't worry about the potentials. They'll be taken care of... Somehow. I'll get back to you on the details.

Also, you're the second person to guess that the baby is Dawn. I'd give you a cookie, but they just don't fit through the DSL. Nuts. Also, chocolate chips.

And Joyce... she's just dropping off the map. True, she probably won't die from a brain tumor, or whatever, but she's not a major character either.

Anyway, thanks for reading!
Review By [Inquisitor] • Date [18 Feb 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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