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Beyond The Horizon.

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Review of chapter "Two." from PATM
A flash of scene and 10-20 seconds of dialog. I'm being a goad, but I need more! I love the
premise and I can't, but I must see the meeting and following dramas.
Comments from author:
Thank you so much for that... Three is nearly done, and makes progress on the story by, oh... a few minutes.

The continued support is important and appreciated.


Review By [PATM] • Date [24 Jan 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Two." from CPTSkip
Huh? Confused but still interested. I look forward to more.
Comments from author:
(Confused..? Is it something to do with what's on the screen, or just something I haven't explained yet? Please?)

Thanks for declaring your continued interest. It really means a lot.

Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [23 Jan 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "One." from PATM
I see three names represented in the scouts name. Joyce the mother, Anne the runaway and Joan
from "Tabula Rasa". The last is a stretch but I feel this story is a fresh start on a new canon hence
the name Joan as it represented a separation from the drama that Buffy suffered under for years.
It seemed that this new planet is actually an alternate universe. There is a mirror that accomplished the au story line, so the use of the name Joyanne signifies the primary status of the planet that represents Earth on their plane. Did the chappai'ai disappear or did the event horizon pool effect disappear? It's got promise carry on.
Comments from author:
Sorry, but I really don't want to say anything just yet, just in case I stamp myself on the foot. Painful !

Thank you muchly for taking the time to leave a review, and for saying you think it's okay to continue.

Review By [PATM] • Date [20 Jan 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "One." from CPTSkip
Very interesting beginning. You have captured both my interest and attention. Now I just want more. Hummmm? A Slayer Summers? Interesting.
Comments from author:
Just a (small) beginning...

Thank you yet again for taking the time to leave a few words of encouragement... It's all I need.

Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [20 Jan 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "One." from SpinelessPunster
Only 2 things I can say-

Hideously short for a sci-fi book intro. What makes the sci-fi genre, particulary TRUE as in literature-true, science fiction is the flavor, feel, and foreign landscapes of the vast possiblities that are the imagination of the universe. 300 words is more like 20% of a prologue, not chapter1. If you want feedback, you have to be more involved in it, or don't attempt something with the word 'empire' in the description.

Secondly, the x-over you picked is probably not known to at least 9 out of 10 possible readers,therefore, more depth in the intro is probably needed. There's too little here to grasp.

For example, who did the Slayer snap for? I've got a name-that's it! No description at all, even a gender or a race, or job.

The writing is sound and fairly well presented, and I applaud your using a new idea, just be worthy of it, so others will love the books, and read them. I myself have been a lurker and procrastinator for years, so I'm not trying to discourage.
But I'm holding off publishing my work until I have at least 10K words drafted out, adn the outline for the first, adn half the second story, since I have high hopes.

Good luck.
Comments from author:
Hideously short ? Totally agree, but 300words is what I came up with for an hour of walking the dog. Good job he likes to be walked fairly regulary.

I promise more parts to actually expand on the situation with actual information, but I have to say that this is our attempt at a 'BIG' story, and I am going slowly to actually try and 'do' it right.

Thank you for saying that the writing looks okay so far and for taking the time to leave a review.

(Don't lurk. Post! Even a small word of encouragement in a review can do wonders for your muse !)

Review By [SpinelessPunster] • Date [20 Jan 09] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "One." from Frogsareevil
looks interesting. more please!
Comments from author:
That's what I need, just a little encouragement... Watch this space !

Thanks for taking the time to leave a review,

Review By [Frogsareevil] • Date [20 Jan 09] • Not Rated
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