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Zealot

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Review of chapter "And the candle looked at the stars and whimpered" from Ahdamnit
Review:
You might want to change it so that Xander jumps through the portal after feeling guilty. He sees that Buffy is going to jump to spare Angel and Xander knows that she can't be spared from the fight so he makes a decision so that she won't have to.

That, IMO is much more in character then this bit of Buffy bashing. I say that as someone who is not enamored with Buffy.

Oh, and please give Xander psychic talent and training.
Comments from author:
not going to have Buffy bashing that much... it was a heat of the moment / temporary insanity thing... she can only take so much stress before she snaps.

Xander is NOT going to get super powered but some training armor and weapons will be there. basic psychic if anything nothing like Templar or Archon level.
Review By [Ahdamnit] • Date [25 Feb 09] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "And the candle looked at the stars and whimpered" from missinglink
Review:
Nice start or jumping point for a story. Doesn't look like this is just a drabble. Only real missing element is Xander's anger that could be either mild or bordering on rage at his realization that Buffy sacrificed him to save Angel. I imagine you will explore this among other things upon his return. Will be interested in whether you focus some time on his experiences in the Starcraft verse or just delve into him as he is returned.

When he does get back, assuming he arrives at or about the time Angel did in the story, would be interested in just what Buffy told the others and what possible guilt must be eating at Angel over Xander's possibly being sent to hell by Buffy. Not too many stories ever dealt with that dynamic between Buffy and Angel. Might be interesting to explore a seperated Buffy and Angel. Her blaming Xander for not telling her the spell was being done and that Angel now won't deal with her over her actions to save him by sacrificing Xander in his place. Angel torn about not being close to the gang as he was their tormentor for a while there and especially what he did to Jenny. This distance not allowing him to really tell the others of Buffy's actions and Xander's fate. The house of cards that Buffy might set up blaming Xander and saying he ran away (maybe because she threatened him after finding out about the lie) and Giles getting close, but not quite puzzling it out, similar to canon when he asked her about the portal being closed and being afraid that the worst might have happened to Xander.

Ultimately with the title Zealot (know this is a tie to the Starcraft game) I think that Xander has to return and the house of cards Buffy would have built in the interim fall down around her. This bringing humility to her and hopefully a reality check. Then the others dealing with the changed Xander (would he be that much older? Time passage similar to Angel? What would have kept him alive for that long?) with him being altered by what has hapened to him and his being in a war of monumental proportions.

Like I said, what you have started has some real possibilities. Can't wait to see where you take us. Later.
Review By [missinglink] • Date [25 Feb 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "And the candle looked at the stars and whimpered" from eriktheviking
Review:
An interesting start/premise.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [25 Feb 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "And the candle looked at the stars and whimpered" from Ishikawa
Review:
Slayer rage is okay, when there is some guilt later on anyway.

Interesting start, looking forward to more.
Review By [Ishikawa] • Date [25 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "And the candle looked at the stars and whimpered" from CPTSkip
Review:
Interesting beginning. I would love to read more.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [25 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "And the candle looked at the stars and whimpered" from djhardim
Review:
Okay so far, but you need to add a disclaimer for BtVS and Starcraft(assuming that's the crossover) to the beginning of this story.
Comments from author:
I knew I forgot something thanks
Review By [djhardim] • Date [25 Feb 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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