Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from clarityfades
Review:
Just wanted to let you know that I'm thoroughly enjoying this story, hoping to see the slayers get some quality time w/ the Wraith. But I'm liking the build & the caution on both sides. :) The balance works really well, & this last chapter on "skills" gave me a good laugh while being an excellent transistion piece. Good chappie & great story! :)
Review By [clarityfades] • Date [26 Jan 10] • Not Rated
Kind of a transition chapter, not much happening- though it looks like Weir is going to let them stay on Atlantis. Felt bad about the Vikings and am totally in agreement on ice storms.
Review By [robertlisle] • Date [25 Jan 10] • Not Rated
Beb, you totally rock the Casbah. :D Seriously, this chapter was wonderful, and as painful as it was to write it and re-write and re-write and...you get the idea...I have to say that I'm glad it took so long -- the language is strong, concise, and the characterizations are personable and definitely provoke a reaction.
For instance -- I sincerely DID NOT LIKE Leah's behavior in this chapter, but at the same time, there are underlying hints for reasons BEHIND her behavior. So, I reacted strongly to a character, even if it was negatively, but I am still drawn in because there seems to be something else there that is intriguing. YAY FOR YOU!!!
"'What the hell is all this?' Buffy asked, staring at the paperwork with glazed eyes." As first lines go, this was phenomenal!
The ONLY thing that might be an issue is where the chapter reads "point figures" when I think you meant "point fingers." Other than that, A+++++ all the way!
Review By [chrysanne] • Date [25 Jan 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
I'd love to see Buffy meeting her alternate, find out how she ended up marrying military guy. With no slayer-ness, there'd be no gym burning down; maybe her parents didn't break up? So.... she goes through high school as "Spordelia"? Huh. our-Buffy would be all "so this is how I could have turned out" while other-Buffy would be all "huh. So, I'm stronger than I thought I was...(could handle the terrible situation etc).... Willow might show up in the SGC at some point, being a science type.... meanwhile on Atlantis---they can test for the ATA gene; beyond that, the wraith attack all the time, they'll get their chance to show their stuff.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [25 Jan 10] • Not Rated
Ah, jeez. Buffy with 4 kids! :) I enjoyed that interaction the best of the three. I loved Daniel getting attacked by the dog and entrangeled by the toddler.
Comments from author:
Just a fun little peek at the way their AU selves are living on Earth. Thanks for your review.
interesting to see the three slayers lives in this realty...can't wait to see the next chapter!
Comments from author:
It is. And while not essentially crucial to the overall plot, it does drive the point that they no longer have a place on Earth. Thanks for the review.
Last chapter was a bit distracting with all the details about the 3 counterparts on earth. Thought it didn't really add that much to the story.
The conclusion that they didn't come via a quantum mirror was interesting, but I think the "how" of Buffy, Leah, and Vi arriving in their universe would have been just about the very first question posed to the three of them by Weir, the military, and the IOA...even if they didn't believe whatever BL&V might have told them (e.g. magic portal).
Comments from author:
I agree, it was more of an interlude showing us the 'what could be' and not really adding much to the overall plot. And considering the many ways that make time travel possible, with or without the laws of physics, it pretty much means that they're there and they may never give an answer as to *how* they got there.
Thank you for your constructive review!
Review By [draconis] • Date [27 Aug 09] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Mari
chrysanne
