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You're My What?

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Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from StormWarning
Review:
HOW DARE YOU LEAVE IT AT THAT. An update is defiantly needed. Fab story though :D
Review By [StormWarning] • Date [12 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Rude Awakening" from (Current Donor)BaronScrewtape
Review:
Been loving the story.
You say you have two more chapters? I hope you can get them out... hate to see such a good story come so close to finishing, but remain undone...
Review By [(Current Donor)BaronScrewtape] • Date [18 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from JonnWolfe
Review:
Well, that's a hell of a place to leave off...


Like the story a lot, and hope you get back to it.
Review By [JonnWolfe] • Date [28 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from (Recent Donor)Hawklan
Review:
nice that B and F are together now and also that F got a job, but the end was evil :)
Review By [(Recent Donor)Hawklan] • Date [16 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Come on! It's been a very good story through 12 chapters!!! And I am so looking forward to updates, as it's only been 4-1/2 months since the last!
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [21 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from Oddshot
Review:
FaithsVoice:Re- You're My What? , I am loving this story & this is a most fascinating crossover between Sg1 & Buffy the Vampire Slayer , seeing Faith return to the Scoobies & Buffy as a part of the team , Also her being in a good family situation Via her new father Jack , I do hope your Muse will help you to soon update this story .
Review By [Oddshot] • Date [14 Nov 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from Morgomir
Review:
Great chapter. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [12 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from serenityselena
Review:
oh dear..... things were going so well for her....
hopefully she`ll get out alright and fast too ^_^
Review By [serenityselena] • Date [8 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from SamDragon
Review:
Mean cliffhanger making person,now we have to wait.
Next chapter soon I hope.
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [4 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from lunalurker
Review:
Yay, an update! I had completely forgotten this story, so I went back and reread the whole thing. It's very entertaining, and a little sweet, and has fun little bits I normally don't see in other stories that have this sort of plot, which is always a good thing.
I hope it gets continued soon, and thanks for writing. :)
Review By [lunalurker] • Date [4 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from Gideon
Review:
I just read through the whole story again and it is great! It is nice to see Faith trying to make amends and repair her relationships with the scoobies. We don't often get to see that kind of thing from her perspective.
So has Buffy talked to Riley about Faith yet? It seems like she has but I'm not sure. If not then Buffy would be cheating on him and I'm sure he won't be happy when he finds out!
Review By [Gideon] • Date [4 Oct 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from CageFire
Review:
Great new chapter, keep up the great work.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [3 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Oh, no! But I suspect that Adam's about to learn the lesson Spike had to learn back in season 2: NOBODY messes with Buffy's girlfriend or boyfriend!
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [3 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from (Current Donor)vidicon
Review:
A nice read. And though I agree in principal with you on proofreading, I too fear that the strict use of paragraphs makes the written word less easy to absorb. I Agree on that one with the previous reviewer. I do like the way you've hauled Jonothan back in, and that Giles is getting off his arse and teaching magic to Willow, like he should have since she re ensouled Angel/the death of Jenny. I liked Jack's laid back reaction to Faith's bi-ness.

Thanks for writing
Review By [(Current Donor)vidicon] • Date [3 Oct 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Now, what have we learned, kids?" from draconis
Review:
While I agree with your A/N regarding an author proofing his work, etc. I STRONGLY disagree with you regarding paragraph management. This disagreement is promulgated by the increasing use of browsers, tablets, e-book readers, etc. that have drastically altered how we acquire, perceive, and comprehend the written word.

Before I proceed, I do VERY MUCH appreciate you generally keeping paragraphs relatively short compared to the incredibly ungainly paragraphs in the fanfics of far too many other authors.

I do hope however, that you will consider the following.

What may be a technically "correct" writing style can make it extremely difficult to follow when reading in a browser frame, tablet, or e-book reader. If care isn't taken by the author in managing the presentation style, one ends up with a screen COMPLETELY filled with one unending continuous stream of characters...making it VERY difficult to read and comprehend.

For online reading, run-on paragraphs are NOT desirable. For example, it is much easier to read and actually comprehend what's happening when a character's quoted statements are separated by at least one line space instead of all included in a single paragraph as you suggested. Example follows--


Here's a paragraph from your story the way you wrote it.



Buffy splashed some half-n-half in the huge mug of Espresso Pump coffee in front of her, then started dumping in sugar. “I mean, I thought I loved Riley. He's important to me, you know? And we were under the spell of that crazy old lady-ghost-thing, so I don't know how good my memories are...” She stirred the coffee and handed it to Jonathon. “But things felt really right with Faith there too. Or maybe it was just me and her, but it felt like something real. And then Xander was there, and I just panicked and ran, and I've hardly seen her since, and I miss her. But what if it was no big deal to her?” Buffy looked at Jonathon with horror in her face. “Oh, god, what if it was a really big deal, and now she thinks I hate her or something, and she's planning on going to Colorado after all?” She slumped down, burying her head in her crossed arms. “Or what if she actually wants to date me, and I have to break up with Riley? I couldn't do that to him, how could I do that to him?”



Without altering the actual text, here's the way I would write it to optimize the presentation for the online or tablet reading environment.



Buffy splashed some half-n-half in the huge mug of Espresso Pump coffee in front of her, then started dumping in sugar.

"I mean, I thought I loved Riley. He's important to me, you know? And we were under the spell of that crazy old lady-ghost-thing, so I don't know how good my memories are...”

She stirred the coffee and handed it to Jonathon.

"But things felt really right with Faith there too. Or maybe it was just me and her, but it felt like something real. And then Xander was there, and I just panicked and ran, and I've hardly seen her since, and I miss her. But what if it was no big deal to her?” Buffy looked at Jonathon with horror in her face.

"Oh, god, what if it was a really big deal, and now she thinks I hate her or something, and she's planning on going to Colorado after all?” She slumped down, burying her head in her crossed arms.

"Or what if she actually wants to date me, and I have to break up with Riley? I couldn't do that to him, how could I do that to him?”



(note that I also prefer to delineate actions/commentary/visualizations not DIRECTLY associated with a quoted line from that line by visually separating the two. For example, your



"I mean, I thought I loved Riley. He's important to me, you know? And we were under the spell of that crazy old lady-ghost-thing, so I don't know how good my memories are...” She stirred the coffee and handed it to Jonathon.



becomes



"I mean, I thought I loved Riley. He's important to me, you know? And we were under the spell of that crazy old lady-ghost-thing, so I don't know how good my memories are...”

She stirred the coffee and handed it to Jonathon.



Review By [draconis] • Date [3 Oct 11] • Not Rated
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