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Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from kayron
Totally unfair month long cliffhanger!! Is Dean REALLY back? Or, is this another trick? Being part angel is a whole lot better than being demon! At least Aya won't be worrying about that anymore! Love the way they all got to acknowledge their greatest fears. Even if they were briefly beaten by them. Knowing the fears and then conquering them will only make them stronger people.
Review By [kayron] • Date [3 Nov 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen" from junnights
wince - while I like the story - it continues to annoy me that you write Don and Alan's surname wrong. Its Eppes - not Epps... (check wikipedia if u want) I know its not a big thing - but for me fixing that would make me forever grateful.

-> answer to the answer (hehe)
well - of course I won't stop reading, its about the only thing that bugs me about the stories, and for that sake - can fix the name if you want and send the story back to you...
Given the fact that I don't know the cross and still reads this story... says a lot about your writing skills as a whole. Well have fun writing:)
Comments from author:
have you ever gotten in the habit of writing something and cant break yourself of it? to this day i still cant write dose correctly. I'll put a note for my beta to change it in the future, but i have to warn you I've already written and betad up to chapter 16 so if things really aren't changed right away that's why. although i hope the spelling of a name doesn't cause you to stop reading- no offense but that's kinda a stupid reason to stop reading something.

anyway i'll fix it, but since i've forgotten to do so this far in (because i do know) i might continue to forget.
Review By [junnights] • Date [31 Oct 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from kayron
Connor can be Angel's son froma previous relationship. The mother could have given the child up to a family. That person can't keep him because odd things are happening, but decides to investigate and send him to his biological family so that he doesn't end up in Foster Care. Angel get s nice surprise! I like the idea of Aya having a particaular friend that is closer to him than Xander. It's the same as Xander befriending Willow. The entity urging Aya to kill himself reminds me of the First.
Comments from author:
how would Angel have had this child? since Darla was a special case. intresting thought though. i thought Faith Cordy and Aya would be great friends. they are enough a like to get a long but diffrent enough not to kill each other.

the entity is a combination, First, mind, and other things trying to freak Aya out. evil wants Aya to turn do Adam dosent get defeated. and what better than to have an evil godling? kinda cuts into the Wish story i have yet to finish where Xander is a little nuts.
Review By [kayron] • Date [28 Oct 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from Dragonwolftiger
OK just read everything after long while away. For the twins, Dawn & Connor I suggest that they be Don's but the Monks of Dagon screwed up and made the Destroyer part of Connor due to the key being split into two bodies. If Glory was to grab one twin she would have to guess as to which one to grab (Dawn the Opener or Connor the Closer (Destroyer). Also Angel is Hanks great-grandfather however many times removed, and the Monks twisted the DNA wrong when they create Dawn and Connor from both Buffy's blood and Don's. Maybe the memories lead to a surrogate mother and Don's old sperm, instead of Joyce giving birth to Dawn like Canon had it.
Comments from author:
i like this first part of this, but since this a focus story on Aya and Xander, i dont want to complicate things too too much with how Dawn and Connor are created.

looks like Don's children is winning. :)
Review By [Dragonwolftiger] • Date [28 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen" from RougeMage
Long time reader of this fanfic.

Here's an idea.

e) Walsh did it. Maybe the old Initiative had a few samples of DNA from Angel and Walsh decided to try and make some kind of super soldier from his DNA. Maybe she also got a hold of some nanities to help age the kid up too?

It could also explain any issues he has.

Or as an alternate route maybe Don and Angel wanted a love child that was 'theirs' and found a surrogate mother? That route would be less creepy all around.

NOW onto reviewing.

Yet again you leave me with wanting more. I also like the idea of an earlier Bufy/Xander friendship and the idea Xander and Aya have had a bigger impact on her life as a result. It also makes me wonder if because of that friendship if Buffy ever got sent to the mental hospital like she did in cannon? It leaves alot of things open.
Comments from author:
no mental hospital, beyond most of season four everything is Au. there will be a Glory but i might get rid of her quickly. also this story is about Aya and Xander so if anyone dose it will be one or both of them. i am thinking of writing something where Aya and Xander discover that the past was changed to make them really twins or something along those lines but i'm not sure.

i'll think about your idea, so far Dawn and Connor twins has the most votes.

also: i wrote that in chapter 14????? after 300 pages i have problems remembering what i wrote, i'm still taking notes.
Review By [RougeMage] • Date [27 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen" from drago
Very nice keep up the good work.
Review By [drago] • Date [27 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from Dragonwolftiger
ok for Connor & Dawn how's this? Twin's born to Buffy after Angel's human day? Great job on the story, Please continue.
Comments from author:
some problems with that suggestions based on my AU and conon

1) Buffy and Angel never really dated, Angel and Don are a couple, hence why Angel thought he could punish Aya, vampire thing. (see end of WX notes)
2) need Connor and Dawn as teenagers not babies.
3) in canon after the whole human thing, the day rewound itself so even if she could have gotten preggers, Buffy wouldn't have after the day restarted because the sex thing would never have happened.

nice suggestion though, if you want to revise PM me.
Review By [Dragonwolftiger] • Date [22 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from RyenSelenityCaliburn
Awesome chap. I'm going to go with (a) for the poll.. *shrug* I like twins, I can see mischivious more... lol
Review By [RyenSelenityCaliburn] • Date [21 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from iuveniachick
Love this story loved the chapter and as for your poll I vote A, it just seems to make the most sense to me in context of the story.
Review By [iuveniachick] • Date [21 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twelve" from Dragonwolftiger
Me thinks Director Walsh needs to be stomped on before she screws up and blows up Southern California. Heh good writing. Please continue.
Review By [Dragonwolftiger] • Date [17 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from kayron
Very AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL! I'm all for positive messages! Go Eva!
Comments from author:
thanks. it just happened, wasn't planned.
Review By [kayron] • Date [11 Oct 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from Neverwillmini
Love the stories so far, but Aya seems to be getting more and more childish - was that deliberate? I thought with the new background (having John, Sam, and Don as real family) would mean that he didn't have the same nightmarish childhood to compensate for.

I'll vote for Willow dying when she tries to pull something big and fails. She's such a minor blip to this overall series so far, that I don't think you'll be missing anything if you kill her off.
Comments from author:
just because he didn't have a hellish childhood (which in fact he never did not even in canon) doesn't mean Aya cant be as childish as he wants. he's in a loving family, he got a childhood that included demons and vampires. much like the Winchesters. he is childish because he wants to be.

plus there is that whole can turn into a two year old bit.....

believe me, he can be much much worse.

as far as Willow is concerned, i think killing her for stupidity will get major flames. and since i don't hate the character if i were to kill her off it would be in a last ditch heroics or for a completely unrelated reason than her magic. i bash the character because i don't think the way her character as far as her learning magic is concerned was handled very well. but in RL people don't just change when they are corrupted it takes a swift kick and a big eye opener which takes a while. and Willow is corrupted but at this point in the series salvageable. i have plans for her redemption, she deserves that much at least.
Review By [Neverwillmini] • Date [10 Oct 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from kayron
There's a saying that goes "if you're old enough to DO it, then you're old enough to TALK about it". Aya and Graham are in a sexual relationship. If he has soncerns, then Aya needs to talk to Graham.
Comments from author:
just remember Aya is a little bit of a prude so while he is ok with sex he's having problems talking about it. but yes he dose need to have a talk with Graham.

poor, sweet, understanding Graham
Review By [kayron] • Date [10 Oct 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight" from Dragonwolftiger
One final note: I read a lot of these stories, that's where I came up with the study idea since I figured that most witches study for years to understand the power and use it properly, when they don't you get people like Rack although that is using the term people very loosely indeed.
Comments from author:
witches really do learn for years, beginners study for a year and a day before they can even be novices. although who is Rack?
Review By [Dragonwolftiger] • Date [3 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight" from Dragonwolftiger
In answer to authors question, no I don't practice but there is balance in everything including nature so 'Creator' 'Gaia' I just happen to think that the threefold rule apply's to life as well as everything else. Also I have never seen any proof that the creator is male or female I just envision her as a Goddess not a God.
Review By [Dragonwolftiger] • Date [3 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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