Completely loved the Dawn/Jean Claude scene! I especially loved reading it from JC's POV. I wonder what Dawn's spell will really do though? Will it do what she think it does, or did she remember it wrong and it does something completely different/dangerous?
I also loved the bit with Spike and his being tied up :-)
The beginning though with Dawn and the boy (Matt) was a little weird and out of character, I think. *shrugs* Dawn *is* really young and would be flattered by being asked out, but from living in Sunnydale and having a family like hers who have had horrible luck with romance/dating (especially Buffy), wouldn't she be more suspicious? Also add in the situation she's in with her not knowing where she is, having been 'kidnapped' by people who think they know her and are saying she's someone else's daughter with also Spike, Willow and the others nowhere to be found, it just seems kinda ridiculous that she would just go on date with some unknown boy without a thought of the danger or even second guessing it being wise... *shrugs* Maybe as an idea, she could still go on the date if you want, but instead make her more cautious of Matt and their surroundings?
Anyways, I really did enjoy this chapter and I'm very happy for the update! Sorry if my comments seemed offending though, I definitely didn't mean for them to...
I really do look forward to reading more, especially to see Dawn's reaction to Jean Claude's saying he's her father!!
Comments from author:
hi thanks for the great and very long review - its wicked!!!
yep good points with Matt. The Matt situation wilkl crop with later storyline but I also wanted to show how dawn is behaving recklessly and careless. Kind of like when she was shop lifting in series 6 in buffy
But Thanks for reviewing and will try and keep more believable going forward
Review By [LeaFairy] • Date [6 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Wow!!! Very cool story. It's a very unique plot, and well written.
I'm glad to see that Spike is remembering Dawn, even if only in his dreams. Is he going to be dropped into St. Louis? When Buffy is resurrected, will she remember Dawn, due to Slayer powers?
One thing I'm unclear about is, is how old is Dawn in Anita-verse?. The way Jason was thinking about her 'spinning her in circles, pouting' made her sound younger than she is in Buffy-verse.
Great cliff-hanger. Build up of magical power, and Jean-Claude claiming he is Dawn's father. I was wondering in the previous chapter who the father is, but I guess Richard and Asher (and Micah?) all care for her like a daughter.
Thanks for sharing your writing with us. I look forward to reading more.
Comments from author:
thanks for your review - you rock and apologies for the delay in reply.
ohhh spoilers cant say too much
but Dawn is same age about 14 years old, but remember shes been jasons little girl (its like Jason her older brother) since she was born and so hes been twirling her around since she was a kid
re the father... oh this will be interesting
Review By [PSchri] • Date [6 Dec 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Glad to see you're back! yikes, new parents, very different from old set of parents. Poor Spike, it's really all willow's fault for not double-locking the doors. Maybe the spell will summon Spike? Not sure JC would welcome him with open arms. Got to say I'm curious as to whether Spike would 'translate' across same as now, or into an Anita Blake-verse type master vampire. Trying to think if there are any insane-o vamps working for JC or any 'seers' --ie someone who when looking at Dawn would perceive something of her true nature... I'm sure there must be one; said person wouldn't have 'seen' it before because they've never actually met Dawn before.. or something like that. Nice to see Dawn is capable of doing spells... and needs to work on the religious faith thing, darn, that rule is just so unfair
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [6 Dec 10] • Not Rated
