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Dawn Graison

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Review of story "Dawn Graison" from Pearlmegan
Review:
I love how you have Dawn and can't wait for more. If it does get adopted I would like to know who so i can keep an eye out for it again.
Review By [Pearlmegan] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Dawn Graison" from KyrissDraconis
Review:
I agree that several of LKH's books became flat & repetative, but ya know, sometimes life is like that and I can appreciate that. Thankfully!!! She seems to be improving in her latest AB books & didn't let herself fall too deep into the same problem with her Merry Gentry series. Give her another book or two before totally decrying her.

On another note, I met Sherilyn Kenyon @ a convention last year and slowly got sucked into her DarkHunter series. I enjoy it greatly, but friends have been irritated because they didn't know about the Greek lesser deities so were clueless. Not quite vampires & werewolves, but something close. Just a thought.
Review By [KyrissDraconis] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Dawn Graison" from saturnssailor
Review:
I agree with what the people before me say. I don't like the way she has been turning her story, but this isn't her story its yours and you can make it the way you want it to be. I also agree that going back to the roots and just reading the first book and not the rest might help. I hope your muse comes back to you and I really like your story.
Review By [saturnssailor] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Dawn Graison" from Ramenth
Review:
I don't think anyone would argue with you on most of that score. Just remember, you're the one writing this, not LKH. If you don't like the fact that she tortures her characters more than Robert Jordan, then write a different plot where they don't all turn into horrible flanderized versions of themselves.
Review By [Ramenth] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Dawn Graison" from RowanChick
Review:
That Sucks!!! but I hope you get your inspiration back!!! But I agree with you on LKH however she seems to make the characters like herself!!! and there is a T.V series coming out next year or the year after ABVH.
Review By [RowanChick] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Dawn Graison" from Poisyn
Review:
before you drop your story step back and look at what you've already established- you have put dawn there, you have put dawn in as alpha of the pack (so anita can't take them now!) dawn remembers everything from her other life- so she knows how to put people in their place, and knows true strength when she sees it, knows "heros" when she sees them. these points have already changed the anita verse, and i aggree with the others- use the things from the first few books that you LIKE about the characters, and then change or get rid of the stuff you don't like, even if it means removing the person totally.
find a way to bring buffy to her, not to take care of her since she can take care of herself, but to support her, to be there for her emotionally.
the thing i think i wonder the most about the last few storys i have read, is "what happened to the original anita?" this new one seems to literally be a succubi and has lost her humanness, so i think after all the times she's been mind raped by jean claude, and others have locked her up, or destroyed her. for these reasons i can't read any more, for all the damn animals inside her are crazy, she basically has become a female chimera! and a succubi as well.
rant rave, get it out then change it all to how you see it, this is your story =^_^= and your world =^_~= make it how you see it!
Review By [Poisyn] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Dawn Graison" from FireWolfe
Review:
The suggestion I have for you is to go back and read the first book. That was what hooked you. Then Use it and disregard anything else in the AB verse you hate. Pick the parts the characters that had positive points. It is AU so you can rewrite them to fit how you think they should be. All to often authors /writers make wonderful starts but then go into a direction that makes us crazy. Maybe because we as readers have some idea of how we want them to be. If so well great. Make it happen. Do not be discouraged you had a great start here and Maybe if you step back you find your muse again.

Respectfully,

Lisa
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Dawn Graison" from kelsusie
Review:
rant away!!! i used to love the books too, but after all the "have sex with many men or die" i can't force myself to read the new ones to see if they've gotten any better!!
Comments from author:
It's absolutely horrid isn't it? Everyone caters to her every whim ... even hundreds of years old vampires. Sure, she may be pretty but there's nothing really great about her is there? She's an insecure little girl using anger to play with the big boys. Also, she's always so self-righteous about everything. If she met anyone who had done half the things she had she'd have the gall to look down her nose at them. Kill someone without a warrant - well, I'd never but she has, multiple times. Perform human sacrifice - nope, I've never done that but again, even if not for the same reasons she has and yet she still looks at Manny like she's above him. I also find the way LKH 'forgets' people as nuts. We see them as a huge feature in the first books and then they fade and suddenly we've never known them - was it all a dream? Arg, don't even get me started on Micah. Supposedly he's some great Alpha. Yet, we see him as Chimera's bitch and then as Anita's bitch. He never shows his powers, except that he can stay conscious after he shifts and shift to a half man state during the full moon. Sure, that's great but it doesn't make him truly alpha does it? To me, he seems to be high sub, low alpha - he's just not assertive enough to be anything but. And, where is his pard? If he's Alpha why isn't he with them and watching over them? It's like he's taken Anita's pard as his own and to hell with his.

The one thing that really bugs me is the Richard-Anita-Jean Claude thing. Anita meets Stephen and can tells he's a werewolf, thinks that some are better at hiding it than others. She meets Richard, surrounded by vamps and in bed with another were but as he feels human, and she must be right, he's just a human who got involved with the monsters. There's he attraction to Jean-Claude which she's ignoring (because that works so well). She dates Richard, finds out he's a wolf, they get tangled up in a tri, convinces Richard (the perpetual boy-scout) to kill without one thought to what it might do to him mentally and once he does Anita runs screaming, swoons into Jean-Claude's arms with an oh it was so horrible and a let's have sex. Then she's dating them both while they tear each other apart around her - yet she doesn't seem to care except for how it relates to her because everything has to be all about her.

AHH!! I'm going to tear my hair out if I have to read any more. I'm hoping everything fades soon and I can go back to liking my characters.

I'm so sorry for ranting but I do feel a bit better for getting it all out.
Review By [kelsusie] • Date [3 Dec 09] • Rating [10 out of 10] • Edit Comment
Review of chapter "A Step Back" from LeaFairy
Review:
Yay, new chapter! I really liked the Buffy pov too. Very interesting that she's the only one who remembers Dawn, but it does makes sense, the key was sent to Buffy to protect and then Buffy was gone, it makes complete sense that the key/Dawn would be then sent to another protector. And taking of the Scoobies memories insures that Dawn stays safe with her new protector too. At least Giles believed Buffy though and didn't think she was crazy like all the others.

Also great job on Buffy having physical problems from coming back alive. Much more realistic.

Great chapter... I look forward to reading more!!
Review By [LeaFairy] • Date [10 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Step Back" from Xeelia
Review:
Great Chapter! I am glad to see Buffy's side of it. One question thought...Where is Spike and does he remember Dawn since he's a vampire or Angel for that matter?
Comments from author:
I'm not sure where Spike got off to but in my mind the Scoobies pushed him out a bit much. He only does patrols now in honor of Buffy. I might bring him in if I go for the full crossover. As for them remembering ... I don't think Spike and Angel would remember. While Spike may have been able to see through the Ben/Glory glamor, memory spells still worked on him. Tabula Rasa for one but seeing Dawn again or maybe Buffy dredging up some of his memories might break through the spell. It gives me a few ideas that I might have to follow through on. Thanks. :)
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [10 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "A Step Back" from banner
Review:
May I say, "Thank you!" for having Giles notice Willow's magic abuse? Of all of them, he should have seen the signs, and he's sophisticated enough to be wary.
Comments from author:
No problem. :) It really bugged me too. I've made it a bit earlier but Willow was never exactly subtle about it so how no one noticed is just one of the many quirks of the Buffy gang.
Review By [banner] • Date [10 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Moneymaker" from LeaFairy
Review:
An update, Yay! lol. I really like Dawn's idea too... Very original. She's definitely going to make loads of money from all the Were's with that stuff of hers... She'll become famous too.

Anyhoo, great chapter! I look forward to reading more!!
Review By [LeaFairy] • Date [19 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Will Work For Food" from LeaFairy
Review:
Oooh.. I wonder what Dawn's big idea is? Very interesting. I also loved the idea of having Elizabeth working as one of the Doms at Narcissus'. It's a really great idea.

The bit with Nathaniel was great too. I love Dawn's struggle of being a Leader and little sister to Nathaniel and his struggle of getting use to her taking care of him, instead of him taking care of her like in the past. Well done.

I really can't wait to read more... especially Dawn's meeting Anita, Jean-Claude and Richard. I also can't wait to see what happens next with the fighting with the pack. Will Dawn have to fight Marcus and Raina? Anyhoo, this was an excellent chapter! Thanks for updating!!
Review By [LeaFairy] • Date [12 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Will Work For Food" from Lize
Review:
Coolness, looking forward to the next chapter, as always.
Review By [Lize] • Date [12 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Will Work For Food" from FireWolfe
Review:
I like what you did with her. It is a good match making her a Domee. She be good at it and get paid a definite plus. It would also give her respect she craves. She might even like it more then actually ruling a pard.

Lisa
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [11 Oct 09] • Not Rated
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