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The Green Goddess

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Review of chapter "Belief and Disbelief" from war
Review:
nice of them to warn NCIS about holding Dawn.

good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
Yeah. "If she doesn't call us, we're coming to get her" followed by a phrase that NCIS (inaccurately) translates to mean "guns blazing".... good way to get the job done without, you know, having to explain anything afterward.
Review By [war] • Date [7 Dec 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Explanations" from dreameralways
Review:
This is very entertaining, though I do feel as though she is giving a lot away. Though I suppose either she could use the tech powers you've given her, or Willow could delete the video footage so that they will not have anything that they could use against her. That could leave them really stupefied.
Can't wait for the next installment.
Comments from author:
That is true; she could arrange for the video to disappear or files to be erased (though that would fall more in Willow's realm than Dawn's; the powers I gave Dawn are very short-range and not those of a computer virus! She's simply able - that we've seen - to apply small bursts of her energy to simulate telekinesis, and since it is energy, it works best with electricity or electronic devices - like her cellphone.)

However, she's an informant, not a suspect, and I doubt that NCIS would want to burn their bridge with her by going public.
Review By [dreameralways] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Green Goddess" from (Past Donor)shadowslayers
Review:
I actually like how Gibbs believes, but then he has seen strange things maybe.
Comments from author:
He has; some in this story and others elsewhere. A lot of life experience on that guy. At first he was disbelieving, but he's been presented with a situation he cannot otherwise explain, so he's willing to take a unlikely story that explains what actually happened. It's going to take a while for him to be okay with himself for believing it.

There will be some longer-lasting disbelief from within NCIS - it just won't be Gibbs.
Review By [(Past Donor)shadowslayers] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Explanations" from Orion
Review:
Interesting. I've read more than a couple stories where NCIS finds out about the supernatural, but none of them have used such a direct approach. It's also well written, which is always nice. Thanks for writing.
Comments from author:
Thank you. As always, if you have more specific things to say, please do go ahead.
Review By [Orion] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Explanations" from MarbleGlove
Review:
Heh. I love it. Interesting to see people's reactions to improbable truths.
Review By [MarbleGlove] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Explanations" from AriaDragoncrest
Review:
good chapter
Review By [AriaDragoncrest] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Explanations" from Bobboky
Review:
excellent
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Green Goddess" from (Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Review:
Still loving this story. BUT. I hate when people _invent_ ELIZABETH as her name. Buffy is a perfectly *horrible* (yuck) name, but it IS her name. It was on her tombstone and every other piece of paper we ever saw on the show. When made fun of for her name, she always stood up for the name Buffy... never saying, 'uh, it's short for Elizabeth'

Unless you have a new piece of paper where she has legally changed her name... please don't make that mistake.

I really do like the story, but that Elizabeth thing is up there with the Uberxander-Alexander-protector-of-man who can do no wrong for reasons to give up on a story. Sorry I know I'm over reacting a little... I just really see bad things coming when people start making up canon... It's too easy to get right, and assumptions do not serve good writing.

Sir Giles is fine, but Lady Summers is a bit much, and she's neither English nor Commonwealth, so not qualified to use the title.

Still, I find your story otherwise well written and interesting. Hope you won't go down any more blind alleys.

Peace,

Blue

PS: I think you'll find Whedon chose the name 'Buffy' for it's very incongruity and ridiculousness.

PS: I really hope you won't give up on this story, as you mentioned in the first chapter... I still think it has great potential.
Comments from author:
The story is taking place several years after Sunnydale, and you're assuming nothing has changed? (Still, I think I will go back and change up the name. I agree with everything you said and was assuming she HAD legally changed it, but... if you feel so strongly about it...)

On the 'Lady' bit... I'm assuming that when she took over the leadership of the Council (which Dawn mentioned in her story), Buffy ended up moving to London, and very possibly could have changed her citizenship as it's been quite some time since that would have happened. The title was given due to something she did after that, which came to the attention of the Crown (mentioned in very vagueness here.)

With the first chapter.... I had originally planned that chapter to be a standalone. I got such an enthused response to it that I decided to cook up a plot and actually do something with it.
Review By [(Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "All Hands On Deck" from (Moderator)jrabbit
Review:
Couple of minor technical points: non-commonwealth citizens given knighthoods/damehoods/other aristocratic awards aren't allowed to use the titles sir/lady so it would never be Lady Buffy Summers. Also the British Museum has no connections to royalty. Otherwise, good job so far.
Comments from author:
It's nine years post-Sunnydale (in this story; I pushed the BTVS timeline two years earlier because I wanted to kill Sunnydale pre-9/11). If Buff's been living in London the whole time (if for not much other reason than the fact that you can fly almost anywhere from Heathrow), there's every likelyhood she could have changed her citizenship.

The museum part is fixed.
Review By [(Moderator)jrabbit] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "All Hands On Deck" from AriaDragoncrest
Review:
Wonderful
Review By [AriaDragoncrest] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Assignments" from PATM
Review:
There are some odd bits characterwise and also the blood in the stomach thing that Gibbs
mentioned before Dawn gave the speech about Demons. He trusts her when she shows
up at the house but is a suspect when she shows up at at headquarters? I am looking forward
to more.
Comments from author:
She mentioned the blood during the phone call.

And... she's not exactly a suspect. He had Ziva run background on her because he wants to know where she's coming from and whether or not he should accept her story. And he's not quite certain why she volunteered herself so early on.

Plus, he saw something in Interrogation that pegged his radar. (I may have hidden it too well - none of the reviewers have mentioned it. And that was after I beefed up the sentence to make it more obvious exactly what happened.) And there's an unfinished sentence that may or may not have something to do with that. (It does.) I'm going to bring it up again in the next chapter (Abby scene!).
Review By [PATM] • Date [30 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Green Goddess" from (Past Donor)shadowslayers
Review:
Well i re-read through the entire story... and I can see your point of why you were letting Gibbs at the way he was. and yes, i can now see a little more Gibbs in him. I can also see that he is not treating harshly because he knows she is not lying to him.
Comments from author:
And she's not a suspect. Although notice that he was a little quick to jump to that, and completely believes that SHE believes it. And there's one little thing hidden in the interrogation room scene that should have raised some eyebrows, and might be what he was trying to have Abby look at on the video....
Review By [(Past Donor)shadowslayers] • Date [30 Nov 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Assignments" from (Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Review:
I didn't think he was acting in character before. Now he is. It's going to blow up in his face and good. Imagine how the scoobies and the extended thousands of back up scoobies will react when the governement 'kidnaps' their little sister/the key/their watcher. Will not end well.

Yes!!

Blue

me like the daily updates! I can't do it myself, so I must live vicariously!
Comments from author:
Technically she's not kidnapped; she's free to go and isn't locked up or being watched (that we know of). She came in on her own and was simply asked to wait.
Review By [(Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [30 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Green Goddess" from (Past Donor)shadowslayers
Review:
I just don't think Gibbs is acting very Gibbs like.
Comments from author:
Do you mean the whole story, or just this last chapter? 'Cause the Interrogation scene was sort of 'unfinished', as the chapter left off right at the end of Dawn's story without giving him much chance to react (short of interrupting her, and he was trying to be polite). His reaction to it (and it's not 100% positive or believing) is in the next chapter (now posted).
Review By [(Past Donor)shadowslayers] • Date [29 Nov 09] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Green Goddess" from (Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Review:
Is he taking this just a little too well? I mean... most people might not take it that well. I'm sure you'll tell us why.

So far, I'm totally hooked.

Blue
Comments from author:
He's seen at least two things he can't explain otherwise (one of them right there in the room - did you see it?), and he does have a prior relationship with Dawn. He's taking it with a huge grain of salt, but was being polite by listening to it.
Review By [(Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [29 Nov 09] • Not Rated
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