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Omphalos

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Review of story "Omphalos" from Anonymous Reviewer
Review:
Love the ending to this chapter. Good work so far.
Review By [Anonymous Reviewer] • Date [3 Nov 03] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Omphalos" from Anonymous Reviewer
Review:
Just a thought here... wouldn't the "front" of whatever disturbance Dawn caused eventually encompass all of the Federation, Klingon space, etc, therefore becoming a non-problem? Assuming of course that it continuously expands....

Also, I just loved the slang issues (she's happy? No, she's a lesbian) and the name of the Klingon battlecruiser ('Glorious Slaughter'! LOL)
Review By [Anonymous Reviewer] • Date [3 Nov 03] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Omphalos" from Anonymous Reviewer
Review:
Ah, too bad you lost my review for Chapter 1.
Just wanted to let you know I'm still enjoying the drama aspects of the story and feel the characterization is good, and that you've made a nice use of humor where possible.
Continuity-wise towards the end of Chapter 1 it sounded like Sisko was going to have a staff meeting, yet instead in chapter 2 some of the major staff members just follow Dawn around. Would the staff meeting have gone on during Dawn's meal?
Thanks for writing and sharing.
Review By [Anonymous Reviewer] • Date [3 Nov 03] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Omphalos" from Anonymous Reviewer
Review:
Excellent. Like the intro, though I reckon that Dawn should have some serious mojo of her own and be able to tap into it more.

Regards
Joe
Review By [Anonymous Reviewer] • Date [1 Nov 03] • Not Rated • Add Comment
Review of story "Omphalos" from Anonymous Reviewer
Review:
Interesting so far. Be kind of fun to find out where you're going to go with this.
Review By [Anonymous Reviewer] • Date [1 Nov 03] • Not Rated • Add Comment
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