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Review of chapter "Be Careful What You Wish For" from Vilkath
Review:
Glad to see Xander smack SOME sense into Cordelia in this chapter. I kind of felt he put up with her childish behavior for far to long already in such a serious situation. You also have to question the so called intelgence of the girl acting like she's still in high school, rich and perefectly fine while in another dimension, in a war zone without a penny on her.

Given they have no medical care, any injury could mean their death etc I really didn't care for how Xander just stood there and took her punches, kicks, slaps and other abuse.
Comments from author:
I think Xander takes so much abuse because that is the way he was raised. It's toughened him up over the years, it's not that it doesn't hurt, just that he's used to it.

While he and Cordy don't get along, he does feel responsible for her. I think he would do the same for Harmony, just with a lot more yelling. His 'white knight' complex is in place, probably due to his failure to keep his mother safe from his dad.

Cordy has 16 years of 'princess' to overcome. I've tried to get it out of her, killing the Wretch (skipping thing) and thanking Xander for carrying all the clothes back to the house.

Her pummeling him isn't something she'd normally do. When those copters kept going, I see it as having a mini-breakdown. That was her salvation, and it passed her by.

The normal smack that she gives him has been done before in the shows, I see it as more of a sign of affection. I think she's nailed every male member of both shows at least once on TV with it. Xander, just happens to be her favorite target.

Thank you for reviewing.
Review By [Vilkath] • Date [11 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Be Careful What You Wish For" from CPTSkip
Review:
I think you are doing an outstanding job with both Xander's and Cordy's characters. I like the way you are showing us these two are both strong and intelligent, in their own ways, but that they are both also terrified out of their minds.

I do have a couple of questions. If they can read the local writing, is it in English? Or did the transit through the Hellmouth give them the knowledge to read the local writing? And why don't the freaking food cans have labels? Lol!
Comments from author:
That's something that was important to me. While I didn't want them to hide in the house like scared children, neither did I want them to turn into professional locust killers overnight.

I do want to get to the action, but if it's not believable, what's the point? The reason I chose pre-soldier Xander was so that he and Cordy could learn at the same pace, rather then her hiding behind him all the time. While he does take the lead due to his chivalrous nature, Cordy could do the same if she chose to.

With the language thing, I'm just sticking with english. While I don't mind accenting the different sounds the Locust make. Trying to explain a language barrier complicates things.

The cans with no labels? That's easy, they make for great arguments. Any chance I get to stir conflict between the two is always fun.

Thank you once again. Your continued reviews are appreciated.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [11 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Be Careful What You Wish For" from uten
Review:
I like the interaction you have between Cordy and Xander, especially with regards to the helicopters. Xander has always been shown to be able to handle crap thrown at him by his 'girls', unless it happens when one of them is endangering themselves. I thought that was extremely well done, although it is also nice to see them both growing as characters, given that they are in a really tense situation that would force them to be somewhat introspective as well as their situation forcing them to mature even faster.

I'm extremely interested to see if they end up together.

Xander's worry over who is the bad guy, given they only have COG friendly literature is well thought out as well. I am very interested in how you intend to handle their interaction with both Locust and COG forces, since they are still kids at this point. And I don't recall seeing kids at all in the Gears games. (It has been a while though)...

I'm also extremely interested in how you handle the backstory of the world they are now on. Are the Locust Horde actually demons in this universe? Is there a Hellmouth on this planet? Was it the PTB that altered their destination or someone/thing else?

This is an awesome story so far, and I am eagerly looking forward to more.
Comments from author:
Cordy and Xander have always been my favorite characters/couple. I really liked the way they acted together, whether they were going out or not. I decided to use season 1 as a jumping point because I wanted them raw.

I didn't want the soldier or a relationship there yet. They need to learn to rely on each other rather then run to the slayer. I'm just glad I've been able to get that across in the story so far.

As far as them ending up together, I'd like to see that. But at this point, I've got to see where the story goes. I'm amazed how many times I've had to get rid of something I like, simply because it didn't work.

While it was never said in the games, I don't think Anthony or Ben Carmine were more then 18-19. I don't see X&C being 16 that big an issue with COG.

With the hellmouthy locust/demon thing. That's an idea I've been thinking over. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it yet, if I do anything at all.

Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you've enjoyed the story thus far.
Review By [uten] • Date [11 May 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Always Remember Your First" from murdock
Review:
so when are they gonna meet up with marcus and the guys?
Comments from author:
That, I can't say. Honestly, I don't know myself. While I have a basic outline for future chapters, things change on the fly even while I'm writing them.

This chapter wasn't even supposed to exist. There was too much of a gap for my liking and this is how it turned out. I hope you keep up with it to see what happens.
Review By [murdock] • Date [8 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Always Remember Your First" from darthridian
Review:
this story is getting interesting.

hope to read more soon.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you like it. I'm looking to have more out soon.
Review By [darthridian] • Date [8 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Always Remember Your First" from eriktheviking
Review:
Great update, thanks.
Comments from author:
Thanks for keeping up with the story. Your reviews help a lot.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [8 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Always Remember Your First" from Tjin
Review:
very funny... i hope to see more soon.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm hoping to update as soon as possible.
Review By [Tjin] • Date [8 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Broken Fingers" from CPTSkip
Review:
Very cool story so far. I do look forward to more. You write a great Cordy. Lol!
Comments from author:
Thank you. She has always been my favorite female character on the shows. Writing her opposite Xander has been fun.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [5 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Broken Fingers" from eriktheviking
Review:
Great update, but how long will Xander but up with Cordelia's attitude?
Comments from author:
Since I like both of the characters, I try to make sure one doesn't always get over on the other. I think that both have been put down so many times by their parents, they like being able to go after other people in the same way. It's just most don't have the thick skin to take it.

Cordelia is aggressive, while Xander is more reactionary. I can't really see him going off on her unless she crossed a line like she did with his father. This is more or less their version of flirting. I think if one of them ever put the other in their place for good, they would both become very boring people.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [5 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Green as Grass" from CPTSkip
Review:
This is an interesting beginning. I have no idea of where your story is going, but I look forward to finding out. Nice job with both Xander's and Cordy's characters and speech patterns. I look forward to reading more of your story.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [3 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Green as Grass" from Vilkath
Review:
Interesting idea though I think the story might of turned out a little better if it was not in first person. I don't really have anything against the point of view but in my experience very few long term stories work out that way, the form is to limiting in it's scope.
Comments from author:
I originally planned on writing it up third person. Since I'm new to writing, I found it easier to work with in first-person. Hopefully with future stories I can try some different things.
Review By [Vilkath] • Date [3 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Green as Grass" from ChiVayne
Review:
Nice start. I'm not sure where this is headed, but I will be looking forward to the trip.
Comments from author:
Thank you. Hopefully with the new chapter added, it's given you a better idea. I hope you enjoy it.
Review By [ChiVayne] • Date [2 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Green as Grass" from Bobboky
Review:
cool
Comments from author:
Thank you.
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [2 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Green as Grass" from eriktheviking
Review:
A well written and interesting start.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [2 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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