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Harry Potter and the Renascent Seer

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Review of chapter "Collision Course: Escapade" from jaycatt
Review:
Thank you for posting this story. I found it really entertaining. I hope you won't mind if I offer some criticisms. Keep in mind, nothing I mention below stopped me from reading!

Actually, it feels like two stories at this point, since the two sides of your crossover have such different tones. That's not a problem, but I'm curious to see how you integrate them. I wonder which tone will prevail, or will we get something new?

On the Buffy side, you put a lot of effort into exploring the characters' conflicts and feelings. I confess I find myself skimming a little. Maybe mix in a little action? (You've got Glory waiting in the wings....) The arguments get a little repetitive. Also... your author's notes defend against charges of character bashing, and I can see why you're getting them. With the arguing you have going on, it's hard not to get the impression that you're trying to show certain characters in a bad light. Take Willow. You've given her a pretty dark past by having her have magically compelled Xander into the fluke (but it's not her fault because the spell did it? I was confused there.) I think Willow has a right to be angry or resentful towards Cordelia for what happened in high school. If you're going to get her past it, you're going to have to do more character development than just having Buffy and Xander and whoever else yell at her. And if her motivations are more complicated--she really wants Xander, or doesn't want to share him, or whatever--that needs built out, too.

On the theme of characterization, your Xander is too perfect. Xander on screen is kind of a selfish jerk sometimes, and at other times he's full of doubt. I mean, we love him, and heck, we love Cordelia, too, but neither is a saint. You rob them of something crucial if you flatten them to their good points.

Also, Buffy character-wise, I like that you're committed to bringing Tara and Riley to the forefront. Unfortunately, your Tara and Riley don't really remind me too much of the Tara and Riley on the show. Tara especially. The Tara in the show has some serious shyness issues. If I'm going to believe your confident new Tara, I'm going to need to see her grow and change. What made her stronger? Also, it would be neat to see the friendship between Xander and Riley develop. I don't suppose that could be full of pre-slashy goodness?

Speaking of, that's my favorite part of the HP side of this story. Your Harry is so damned cute! I love the scenes with Bill and the twins. It's all so wistful and full of aching longing... Maybe not realistic, and you do tread dangerously close into writing one of those slash fics where pretty much everybody's gay (I mean, the Weasleys are a large enough family that stats are on your side, but you really can't afford to slash any more characters...) but I really enjoyed reading it. That bit about the undiscovered, mutually unrequited crush between Harry and Cedric is just gorgeous.

I also like how you've set up the emotional relationships among Ron, Harry, and Hermione. I get the impression that they don't know exactly how they feel or what they want, and that's pretty much perfect. And which one will Harry end up with? Yummy.

On the other hand, I think you devote a bit too much time to developing how different HP characters feel about each other. I'm thinking here about all those letters from Dobby. I liked meeting Augusta and Amelia and having their ire fleshed out, but it felt too long sometimes.

And.... I feel compelled to point out what I find to be the weakest point of this story. I know in book five that Harry was pretty cranky, and you have him after all the losses and degradations in that story. But I still can't buy him yelling at Dumbledore as you have him. At least not with Minerva's approval. Everybody just seems too dignified. Also, strategically, I would rather have seen Harry hold his cards longer. Dumbledore might feel bad for a bit, but he's crafty, right? Scary.... Which I guess ends up not being a criticism, since it's for you to unfold the plot as you choose.

Speaking of... I know you're still building up to bringing Cordelia to Hogwarts, but can we have more plot? Some action, some danger, something scary? I like where you're going with a lot of these characters. I get that you're trying to build conflict and drama through more human concerns, but sometimes that strikes me as dull. Maybe use some action to show some of the character development? I really like a lot of what you're doing with this story. I think that's why the drawbacks rankle so much. I almost never write reviews beyond "Thanks for writing, please send more." This story is worth it.

Did I mention your Harry is so damned cute? Squee... Thank you very much for writing this and sharing it with everybody. I'm curious to see where you take it next.
Comments from author:
i sincerely thank you for your many valid points! I have no problem accepting criticism when it's couched in real story issues, as yours are, and I appreciate the time you've taken to express them! I don't agree with all of your points, but definitely some of them.

It's important to remember that the events of this story so far only comprise two or three days in real time, so if there's not as much overall action, that's why. The Scooby and Fang Gangs aren't typically fighting something every minute, and right now they're experiencing a brief respite. It is absolutely contrived that Cordelia's coma is occurring within this time, but if it wasn't, this story would be much longer than it already is, and it's barely started. This is why I mentioned Glory and Wolfram & Hart as looming threats, which they were for the respective seasons, but we won't actually be seeing them. As I've stated in previous author's notes, once Cordelia goes to Hogwarts, the Buffy side of this story will be pretty much non-existent; all action will shift to the Potterverse. Cordelia may learn of events that are happening while she's gone, but that doesn't mean we, as the audience, will be seeing those events unfold on-screen, so to speak.

As far as character-bashing goes, the only complaints I've received have been about Willow, the example you offer. I confess, I am not fond of the character, but I do not believe I'm bashing her in any way. I absolutely agree that Willow has the right to resent Cordelia because of their high-school experience (and I wrote specifically of this in Buffy and Willow's conversation in their dorm room), as does Cordelia have a right to resent Willow. I find too often in fanon that Willow-apologists are willing to overlook her actions because they like the character. That's fine; I understand, as I feel the same about Xander and Cordelia. I didn't write Xander yelling at her; he simply refused to have her accompany him to Los Angeles. Buffy didn't yell at her either; she basically told Willow to grow up. I don't see anything wrong with that. Characters, like people, argue from time to time. This is not bashing, it's drama. And there is no drama without conflict. I have the distinct impression that if someone other than Willow had been the focus of this, there would be no problem. I often read stories in which Xander or Buffy are bashed relentlessly and the authors are cheered for it. The point is, I wasn't bashing Willow. I just don't consider characters arguing about a specific point and a specific time to be bashing. I'm not having Willow get over her resentment of Cordelia; as I said, she's right to feel that way. I'm writing that she puts that resentment aside for the moment to help someone who was a part of their group, for better or worse, for three years.

The Fluke: I never wrote that Willow actually compelled Xander. I wrote that Buffy was suspicious that was what had occurred, and she shared that suspicion with Riley. Tara heard only Xander's side of the story, and she suspected that Willow had used magic because she was the only practitioner of magic at that time. These are suspicions, nothing more. Anya made clear in the car on the way to Los Angeles that Willow's spell did indeed compel Xander, but that Willow herself was also compelled. That is, it wasn't her fault. Willow was every much the victim Xander was in that scenario because the spell was driven by another force (i.e. Jasmine) who was targeting Cordelia. It was this force (which they do not yet know was Jasmine) that used Willow as the catapult in the destruction of Xander and Cordelia's relationship, all to ensure they broke up and that Cordelia would move to Los Angeles. I apologize if that was unclear.

I don't believe I'm writing Xander too perfect here. He's filled with self-doubt. He expresses this to both Giles and Anya before he leaves for Los Angeles, and both encourage him that he can handle it. He expresses this doubt to Tara, to Angel, and to Buffy on separate occasions. Even though they all support him, he still doubts himself. There's only so many times I can write this without it becoming ridiculous. Is Xander a selfish jerk in canon? Sure, sometimes. All of them are. But why would he be so here? He was named Cordelia's guardian in case of emergency. What is there to be selfish about, other than to plan for her recovery, which he is doing, despite his own fear and the protests of others? Xander's only function was to set in motion Cordelia's trip to Hogwarts, which he's done via Anya. Once Cordelia leaves, Xander has no more function in the story. So, for a few days, he wasn't a selfish jerk and helped his ex-girlfriend with the assistance of his friends, doubting his ability to do so the whole while.

As for Tara and Riley, I would hope they don't remind you of their canon counterparts; they're not supposed to and this is an AU story. In the first chapter, Buffy states that Tara has trust issues and is timid around anyone who is not Willow or Xander. I specifically began this story with Tara and Xander as close friends so that Tara wouldn't be isolated with Willow the way she was on the show. Same with Riley. So as this story begins, Xander has very close friendships with both Tara and Riley, and they support him. Canonically, Tara could be quite assertive, but usually in the defense of another, which is the case here: she's defending Xander's right to care for Cordelia in the best way he sees fit. Yes, Tara was extremely shy, but she wasn't a wallflower. She had opinions and expressed them. In this story, Xander's friendships with Tara and Riley also involve Anya to an extent. Anya tells Buffy that she's not as close to Tara as she'd like to be, but they have more interaction because of the latter's friendship with Xander.

Again, this is all happening within the space of a few days, so Tara being confident in this one particular set of circumstances doesn't mean her personality has completely changed. It's just another facet of who she is. That said, I always write a more confident Tara than show canon. I feel that both Tara and Riley were marginalized characters who were kept that way because of their isolation with their romantic partners. Here, they're more integrated within the Scooby Gang proper, specifically because of Xander. There won't be any further exploration of Xander and Riley's relationship, because if it does happen, it will be off-screen. As I said, once Cordelia gets to Hogwarts, all of the action will shift.

I don't agree with your argument that I'm writing a story where almost everyone is gay. So far, we have Harry, an admitted bisexual who might be closer to the gay side of the scale, and Seamus who, according to McGonagall, sleeps with whatever moves; ergo, another bisexual. George has a crush on Harry, but he also just broke up with a girl. We also know that Harry's crush on Cedric was reciprocated. Three bisexuals (and whatever Cedric was) in a universe with hundreds of characters is not the same as "almost everyone being gay." Ron has admitted having feelings for Harry, but doesn't know what they are or whether they're sexual. Harry is worried that his feelings for Ron might become romantic, and Hermione is suspicious that Harry and Ron have romantic feelings for each other, but nothing has been confirmed. Ron has freely admitted that he believes himself in love with Hermione, so that would make him yet another possible bisexual. As for which one (ones?) Harry will end up with...well, I'm keeping that a secret for now. ;)

What we have seen is Harry, as the protagonist, reacting to various men in a sexual manner. He is fifteen, and that happens. That doesn't mean all the men he reacts to return those feelings, nor does it suggest they are gay or bisexual. Physical attraction isn't necessarily gender-specific, nor does it always equate with sexual attraction. Many people are attracted to Harry because of the amount of power he exudes, just as they are to Dumbledore or Voldemort.

Harry's argument with Dumbledore was specifically contrived by Harry - that just hasn't been explained to the reader yet. He wanted to put Dumbledore on notice, but Harry gave away nothing about what he learned in the bank, that he's recruiting his own allies, or that he knows Dumbledore has manipulated him far more than that which Harry acknowledged.

I don't write action. That's just not my forte and it truly doesn't interest me, so if you're looking for that, I regretfully suggest you stop reading the story, because it won't happen. I've written other stories that include a Big Scary, but I frankly find it dull, as you find drama through human interaction. I'm sorry if I lose you as a reader, but I feel I should warn you in advance. :(

Again, sincere thanks for reading my story and taking the time to offer several valid criticisms. I don't agree with all of your points, and some of them can't be addressed within the story simply because the story wasn't designed that way, but I truly appreciate what you've said and how respectfully you said it. Cheers! :D
Review By [jaycatt] • Date [12 Oct 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Escapade" from VessaMorana
Review:
The ending of this chappie was perfect!! So funny.

I'm really curious how the whole Ron/Hermione/Harry bit is going to work out cuz I can't really see the trio working romantically in this particular fic if only b/c Hermione and Ron argue too much... ooh, maybe now that Seamus has his head on straight, it could be Harry/Seamus/Luna (cuz Luna's just fun)... Can you tell that I keep reading the HP sections going 'well, it could be this but what about that' and on and on. Mostly cuz the BtVS pairings seem set (and the mutual crushes with Riley, Xander, and Anya are adorable.)

And I think I'm going to have to go back and reread this from the beginning, I'm starting to get things mixed up.
Comments from author:
YAY! I'm so glad you liked the new chapter! :)

I too am curious about the Trio dynamic, and I'm writing this! I agree, they wouldn't work as a unit in this fic...so far. Anything might change at any moment!

There's such a dearth of memorable and wonderful HP characters, and I'm trying to use the main ones and some of the less popular (or less written) ones. There are so many possible combinations. And who knows who will catch Cordelia's eye once she gets there? ;)

Thanks for reading!
Review By [VessaMorana] • Date [12 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Escapade" from Meneldur
Review:
An interesting story. I have to admit I wasn't that pleased by the beginning, but it rapidly improved. The rapid evolution of characters was needed, and it would have been ridiculous to keep preaching for half the story. While I understand you practice Cordelia-worshiping, I have to point out that Cordy wasn't perfect either, despite the fact that she rapidly developed in LA. But as long as you've mostly patched the relationships and resentments up, and there will only be a little preaching through he rest of the story, I think it will be excellent.
I quite enjoyed the interactions between HP characters, though it seems weird to me that so many students are suddenly oh-so-loyal to Harry. Also, considering how much work you've spent on minor characters of Harry's year, I'm surprised you did nothing for the Slytherins. We've only seen Draco, and you haven't even mentioned four of them - Daphne Greengrass, Tracey Davis, Theodore Nott and Cynthia Moon (Crabbe and Goyle don't count). I love your portrayal of Luna - she's always been my favorite character. I wonder that you don't mention what she would like as a partner, though. Still, it's part of her mystery, isn't it? I also enjoyed Bill and Fleur- I always thought there was great potential there that was underused.
As for Buffy and Angel characters - well, it's been mostly as I expected and was needed. I do wonder about this continual taking charge of Xander and Tara. While I certainly believe Xander can do it, eventually it'll clash with Buffy. And as for Tara, she definitely has the potential, but I find it weird for it to be so consistent with other people yet not directly with Willow. It would be nice to see them in a truly equal relationship, though, and dealing together with the others.
That's about all I have to say, I think. My only wish is that if Tara and Willow get to the Wizarding World, they won't get wands. I hate those fics. It totally ruins any development of them in the show. Learn better control and finesse, yes, but switch magics - that's a red line for me. But I'm sure you know what you want to do, so until next chapter, Meneldur.
Comments from author:
I agree that Cordy wasn't perfect. However, given that her character closely resembles mine, I feel as if I understand her very well, and thus glean why she acts the way she does and says the things she did. One particular facet of her personality that I so love about her is that she is brutally honest, to the point where it borders on offensive, but I respect her ability to cut to the heart of the situation and flay open the denial of others. More than any character, she possesses a self-awareness which is awesome in its scope. Besides, I've found that Cordelia has not fared well in fanon. Either she's dismissed as a vapid, selfish bitch, or she's portrayed as someone who's character has evolved to the point where she's naive, which wasn't her. I try to paint her with the layers I know she has.

I'm not sure what you mean about so many students being loyal to Harry. Ron, Hermione, Luna, and the Weasleys have always been loyal to Harry, so that shouldn't be surprising. The Patil twins wish to ally with Harry because they respect him, but it's also about self-preservation. At this point, Seamus is merely regretting his past interactions with Harry and wondering how to move forward; Cho has been influenced by Harry to be a better person, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's loyal to him (of course, it doesn't mean that she's not, either); and Susan is merely intrigued by Harry. At the most, that's five students out of a school of hundreds.

As for the Slytherins, I haven't written about them because I don't care for them. I included Draco briefly only because I felt that he should appear in some capacity, but he is by no means a major part of the story. I don't like Draco, I don't like Snape, and I don't like most of the Slytherins. Blaise Zabini and Millicent Bullstrode have been mentioned, and will likely be mentioned again. Some of the others will be mentioned in upcoming chapters. Remember, Harry has yet to return to school, so who knows what will happen once he gets there?

Regarding Xander taking charge, keep in mind that he's taking charge in ONE specific circumstance, and only at the behest of Cordelia. She named him her caretaker and to make decisions in her stead. He didn't ask for it, didn't want it, and was unsure he was capable of doing it, a self-doubt he expressed to Giles, Anya, Tara, Angel, and Buffy. Also, he's already clashed with Buffy at least twice about him assuming command of this particular mission. Both times, Buffy realized he was the best person for the job. That Xander was supported by others probably figured into her decision. As far as Tara is concerned, her role in this story is to support Xander. I'm not exploring her relationship with Willow because that's not the point of the story. For all we know, in this universe, she and Willow have an extremely equitable relationship; I'm just not addressing it. I understand and value your opinion regarding Willow and Tara dealing with the others as a unified force, but that would detract somewhat from the independent!Tara I've crafted for this story.

Tara and Willow will not be going to the Wizarding World. As I've stated in various Author's Notes, the only Buffyverse character going to Hogwarts is Cordelia. Once she gets there, all of the action will shift to that universe, and we won't see the Buffyverse very often.

Thank you so much for reading my story, considering it, and leaving me such a thoughtful review with your questions and concerns. I sincerely appreciate it, and I hope I've addressed some of them for you!
Review By [Meneldur] • Date [11 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Escapade" from Misty
Review:
Excellent as always, thank you very mch
Comments from author:
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to drop me a review! :)
Review By [Misty] • Date [11 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Escapade" from slmncpm
Review:
OMG they just busted a move??? *falls out of my chair howling* my family thinks i am cracked. I would have loved to see what the letter from cedric said, i liked victor as he always seems to TRY and be level and civil. *hands you scones* please write quickly. i am like an addict here. *laughs*
Comments from author:
Dude, they TOTALLY busted a move. That's just how Will and Anya roll, yo. ;)

Don't fear, we will eventually discover the contents of Cedric's letter, and it will be a shocker! The ramifications from it will inform the entire rest of the story. *rubs hands together in anticipation*

Scones! *inhales*

Thanks for sticking with this, darling!
Review By [slmncpm] • Date [11 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Escapade" from savingjuliet
Review:
I just recently discovered this story and I am utterly and completely in love with it. The premise is fabulous as are your characterizations. Your perspective on the character's relationships in both verses are very refreshing, interesting, and they really make me think. Keep up the fabulous work and I can't wait to see what happens next.
P.S. Cordelia's verbal smack down on the PTBs was one of the best sections of fanfiction I have ever read.
Comments from author:
Your review totally made my day, and I thank you so much for it! I'm particularly pleased you enjoyed Cordy vs. the Powers. I always thought that needed to happen, given the way they abused her. Wait until she gets to Hogwarts and meets Snape. ;)
Review By [savingjuliet] • Date [11 Oct 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Escapade" from Cmiller
Review:
That was interesting and I can't wait for more...err...I know I asked you this before but are you going to touch on Faith's pov with Finch and Buffy being a hypocrate.
Comments from author:
Thanks! I'm still not sure what role Faith will play in this story. Whatever it is, she'll be at most a minor character. I don't think I'll have the time to address her (very relevant issues) with Buffy. I have done so in other stories, and there is only so many ways I can write it without repeating myself.
Review By [Cmiller] • Date [10 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from Cmiller
Review:
Okay thats true there are only so many ways to play that scene but I still think you should do it because it may clear the air too all around and as I said it always bugged me that they never did it on the show...but if you don't touch on the Finch thing would you please do the whole Buffy willing to kill Faith thing yet preach about not killing humans.
Comments from author:
LMFAO, I've done that one too! Actually, there's one story I have which I haven't yet posted here that contains several Buffy/Faith confrontations/resolutions. I've hesitated posting it here because the reviews have been, well, divisive to say the least, so I'm just not sure. I'll think about it.

As for this story, I imagine there will be some Buffy/Faith resolution, but it will probably be brief, as it's really not the focus of the story. The issues you raised are ones which deserve serious consideration, and I don't believe I have the time to address them adequately in this, but that may change. In any case, I appreciate your ideas, and agree wholeheartedly with them! :D
Review By [Cmiller] • Date [3 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from Cmiller
Review:
That was great and i can't wait for more...I think you should have Faith and B get into a verbal fight about what really happened that night in the alley with Finch...I mean I always got the feeling that Faith got all the blame and that Buffy never took her share of the blame for Finch's death. Also I never thought the Scoobies ever found out what really happened and I think you should have Faith bring up that for all Buffy's preaching that Slayers aren't to kill humans that she(Buffy) was quick to try and kill her(Faith).
Comments from author:
Glad you liked this chapter! YAY!

I'm not sure yet what Buffy and Faith will have to say to each other. I've addressed the Finch thing in other fics (not posted here), so I'm hesitant to deal with it again, only because I think there's only so many ways I can do so effectively! For the record, though, I think you're absolutely correct in your assessment.
Review By [Cmiller] • Date [3 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from Taisy
Review:
This latest chapter is a wonderful addition to the worlds you are building and fleshing out. I'm glad Cordy woke up; we are that much closer to the crossover. Can't wait to see where you're going next.

Thanks for the intriguing read.
Comments from author:
Thank you so very much! I'm quite fond of this little world I'm building, so to know that others are also enjoying it means the world to me. :)
Review By [Taisy] • Date [25 Sep 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from twlight
Review:
Oh this is just way way to wonderful. I am so very giddy with this chapter I haven't the words to describe it. I really really love the last part with Harry yelling at the Headmaster, that is just to wonderful. The whole part of being in the Headmasters office is wonderful, I love how Luna got around how she know about Harry's scars on his hand. I am as always eagerly awaiting the next installment to this wonderful story.
Comments from author:
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, darling! I was worried about having Harry decimate Dumbledore, but I felt it was necessary at this point if only to move story along. I just don't think anyone would be able to keep Dumbledore in the dark about anything for very long, so this was Harry's bid at misdirection, albeit buried in very real grievances.

And Luna is just...Luna. I truly love writing her. She's an absolute joy. I can only imagine JKR felt the same way. :)
Review By [twlight] • Date [22 Sep 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from VessaMorana
Review:
Such a good chapter. And I love Harry's defense of McGonagall... and really, she doesn't deserve that much blame despite ignoring Harry trying to tell. She's a really good teacher, she would never think that a teacher would delibrately hurt a student and the wards should have alerted someone about the use of the quill. And yay! Dumbles isn't going to be able to hide the chewing out since all four heads and Pomphrey were there to hear it.

Oh, and the interaction between the BtVS characters is just perfect!
Comments from author:
I agree regarding McGonagall - she was under a firestorm and had never even conceived of someone abusing the position of Headmaster in the manner Umbridge did. I personally think McGonagall rocks. Love her.

Glad you're enjoying the story so far! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :D
Review By [VessaMorana] • Date [19 Sep 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from Misty
Review:
Wow! How are you going to top that chapter? It was amazing, Cordy being Cordy, Xander beng Xander, with Buffy backing him up & Harry... My word, Harry. His dressing down of Dumbledore, (bitchslap isn't the right word here :) was powerful, amazing & just. Thank you soooo much. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Comments from author:
Thank *you* for your lovely comment! I love that you enjoyed this chapter, as it was a blast for me to write! :D
Review By [Misty] • Date [18 Sep 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from borgrabbit
Review:
Hurting haiku:

Betrayals add up
Seeking relief from pressure
Picking up the shards

•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•‼•

The clever bumbler gets caught out.
Great chapter!
Comments from author:
O_O

Okay, seriously, that's the best one yet! Awesome! \o/

Glad you enjoyed this one. It was definitely fun for me to write. ;)
Review By [borgrabbit] • Date [18 Sep 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Collision Course: Things Laid Bare" from DennSedai
Review:
*stares in shock* Go Harry...damn, Albus really screwed things up and now all those inconvenient little truths are coming out and home to roost with a vengeance. More please.
Comments from author:
Ah, but the MOST inconvenient ones won't be told for a long time yet. ;)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! YAY!
Review By [DennSedai] • Date [18 Sep 10] • Not Rated
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