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Invasions and Perceptions

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Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Morgomir
Review:
Great story. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [14 May 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from LordCorwin
Review:
Now, I didn't see that last coming ..... wow .. Furlings.
Review By [LordCorwin] • Date [14 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from justapiranha
Review:
oh yah got to keep an eye on this fic!
Review By [justapiranha] • Date [13 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Gideon
Review:
I love the mixture you have created of Stargate and Star Trek. You must have put a lot of thought into it! And we get to see some Furlings at last :)
The story might benefit from shorter paragraphs though, some of the paragraphs at the top of the page are a bit chunky.
I hope you are able to keep up a weekly update schedule!
Review By [Gideon] • Date [13 May 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from dreameralways
Review:
Per Moebius Part I and II, Season 8, the Gould were overthrown in 5000BC, not 10,000BC. Other than that, love the concept. The Q as the Furlings. So much fun. If Daniel is still around, are Sam, Jack, or Teal'c around anywhere? I can't wait for the Federation to see how far behind they truly are. One more question, what happened to all of the Jaffa and Tokra in the Milky Way Galaxy? How are you going to explain the Federation never having run into them? I mean, with how little of the galaxy the Federation has actually explored, I guess it's possible that if the Jaffa controlled planets nearer Earth had moved to other planets further away, then it's possible that they just never ran into them, but what about Stargates on other planets? Oh, maybe a left over Gould or the Lucian Alliance was stealing them and moving them to another part of the galaxy once Earth was out of the way. I'm curious about how you will tie up those loose ends.
Good luck and I look forward to more.
Comments from author:
5000bc? I though canon said 10,000? Oh well. Whichever it is, it works in my fic for it to be 10,000 ;)
As far as the tok'ra, by the begining of the war with the Ori, there weren't many left, and without willing hosts, they would have died off. For this particular story to work, the Jaffa that went with Teal'c and Bra'tac to Pegasus, are the only genetic descendants of the original race of Jaffa.
As to the remaining Gates and whatnot: wait and see?
Review By [dreameralways] • Date [13 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from FireFlyFan
Review:
This has some serious potential. I like how it is written and what seems to be the plot. I hope that it gets updated often.

FFF
Comments from author:
With my schedule the way it is, I could either give half-baked updates every couple days or so. Or one large update per week. And since I don't like to do anything half-way (look at my other fics for that!), i'll stick to once per week.
Unless R/L gets way too nuts...which for me in will towards the end of May. There's this little Bike Race...only 42 miles...
But no, i'm not riding in it...I'm SAG support. And photographer. and videographer. and all around support guy. And any other title the PTB can come up with ;)
Review By [FireFlyFan] • Date [13 May 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from draconis
Review:
I realize you just replaced the 3rd entry with Chapter 2 that now does not duplicate Chapter1, however, your formatting in the chapter you removed was SUPERIOR to the formatting you are using in the chapters you've input.

Please consider ending each paragraph with TWO Line-feeds in order to provide a visual differentiation. Right now your sentences and paragraphs both end with single line-feeds and it makes it more difficult to follow the changes. It would have been preferable to replace the current 2nd item with your previous 3rd item (which before you removed it was a much better formatted version of the current 2nd item).

By the way, your current prologue seemed to do this quite well, but there were no quoted sections to compare against and the sample wasn't as long.



This is how my same review appears using your current formatting:

I realize you just replaced the 3rd entry with Chapter 2 that now does not duplicate Chapter1, however, your formatting in the chapter you removed was SUPERIOR to the formatting you are using in the chapters you've input.
Please consider ending each paragraph with TWO Line-feeds in order to provide a visual differentiation. Right now your sentences and paragraphs both end with single line-feeds and it makes it more difficult to follow the changes. It would have been preferable to replace the current 2nd item with your previous 3rd item (which before you removed it was a much better formatted version of the current 2nd item).
By the way, your current prologue seemed to do this quite well, but there were no quoted sections to compare against and the sample wasn't as long.
Review By [draconis] • Date [12 May 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from djhardim
Review:
Good, but you skipped a chapter.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [12 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from djhardim
Review:
Good, but I think that you need to switch the order of your two chapters. Your prologue takes place after Chapter 1. Perhaps it should be an interlude.
Comments from author:
Yeah. I had some problems uploading. And problems formatting. Trying to figure out where the problem is. Looks good in the preview area, but bad on the finished page.

Chapter order fixed.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [12 May 10] • Not Rated
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