Technically, you were third on my list of stories to recommend once I got another spot, but since you've been so kind with your knowledge and reviews, I decided to bump you up a couple months.

Thanks,
-Nate

P.S. I'd love to see more of this.

Hysterical - really hoping you'll feel the rainbow and update!

*ROFLMAO* ALOT! WOW very funny story. I love it!

I just read this again. Just as funny the second time. Keep up the good work.

Please tell me you are planning on adding more to this. My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard.

I guess you want to fight. Not interested, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, fine. I'll attempt to clarify one more time, and then if you don't want to see, it's on you. The first set of numbers was what you said in your fic, the second was my take on it, just so you understand.

Separately, I write B/W stuff because I like the pairing; Xander gets plenty of respect in my fics - it's just for the things that he actually does, and are reasonable for him to do. Among other things, Xander gets more and prettier women in my fics that he ever would in canon. Here's a selection with Season 3 Xander-

**"Me?" Xander's face showed his surprise. "But nobody's going to go far enough on the food chain to go after me, and it isn't like I don't have a roof over my head."

"Xander," Giles said while he took off his glasses and polished them, "while each of us makes mistakes, please don't think that the rest of us are unaware of your contributions. You provide your own perspective to us all, despite any repercussions that it may cause, and that has literally saved lives in the past, and may well do so in the future. You are the only member of our group that is out on the, as Buffy says, 'front lines,' absent supernatural powers or decades of training. And, while I can only depend upon Willow's account for this, you were instrumental in preventing battle fatigue in affecting us. You have soldier memories now; are you aware of PTSD?" Xander widened his eyes and nodded. "It's only supposed to affect soldiers that spend far too long on the battlefield. But how would you characterize ten years straight of what we do here? Your brand of humor, your knack of defusing tension at just the right time has proven invaluable before, and it will again. And all of that is beside the point that the girls love you and would do anything to get you back if you were to be captured." He clapped Xander on the shoulder as he looked into his eyes. "So we are going to move you into the silo, you are going to accept your share of the interest money, and you will not argue with those of us who love you when we wish to express it, is that understood?"

Xander's jaw had fallen open, but he closed it and nodded, his eyes suspiciously wet.

"Good, then there's an end to it," Giles said as he got into the van.**

I'm not as much for Xander-centered fics, because authors all too often super-size him with powers and abilities he doesn't need to be simply awesome. If you want examples of well-done Xander-centered fics, with or without "abilities," then you need to check out "I am what I am," and "Prophecies? We don't need no stinkin' Prophecies!" both on this site. They both lay out in simple terms how to write a wonderful Xander-centered fic without going Xander Sue. One even has him with a broken arm. To the issues:

1) I didn't put eyes and ears on it, you did, by saying, "it reacts differently to different personality types." And yes, we're talking magic, so I agree that it could happen.

2) What we're talking about here is the fact that, to get to your point of him killing Olaf, Olaf has to knock Buffy out. I apologize for missing the two times that it happened in canon; however, I will also note that those were both surprise attacks. In any case, Olaf had to knock her out, with or without his hammer. If it's without, then Olaf is much less of a force, which makes knocking Buffy out problematical. If it's with his hammer, how did Xander manage to disarm Olaf with a broken arm? And the fact is, there are three different types of broken arms - compound, simple, and greenstick. The only way that you'd be able to do anything with the arm is if it were a greenstick fracture(which is likely what you had), and with as much adrenaline as he was pumping, he wouldn't have noticed it. If he had had either a simple or compound fracture, he would be doing very well not to scream whenever it moved. There's a reason that breaks are splinted. If he had a simple fracture (which seemed to be indicated by the *snap* and the lack of blood), he would not have been able to lift a sixteenth of the minimum weight of the hammer without screaming and without missing.

3) actually, yes, pretty much the same. One of the "twins" in normal danger, one in a place supposedly far from danger. The problem with each is that it doubles the targets, and keeps the characteristics, perhaps vital characteristics, separate. Having said that, there's a minor point to be brought up - how did Anya and Xander manage to learn how to operate the ferrula-gemini, and if you say magic, how did they power it correctly, since Anya doesn't seem to have magic power in canon, and anything Xander does wrt magic goes wonky? And while Anya thought of using it, there's a difference between it not being thought of right then, and ignoring it as it goes out the door.

4) Of course you didn't claim anything. But, if you're going to split them, some characteristics go into one twin, and some in the other. I said that, in order to explain how O'Neill's Xander managed people so well, you could posit that they decided that the more mature, suave characteristics go to him, but that anyone with a brain would want to put those more in the twin going into harm's way. I'm not saying that what you described was real, but the way you described it was not normal med equipment.

5) I am saying that the bone was healed, and wondering how, because you have Xander swinging full force with both arms at Anise. You cannot do that with a 100kg hammer and a broken arm. You can't do that with a 10kg hammer and a broken arm. Since it isn't broken, it must have been healed. I was looking into the two easiest ways that could have been accomplished, and discounting them.

1.Xander said that and as I've stated, he is by no means an expert. Why you choose to believe that the characters are 100% correct I have no idea.

2.You are assuming that Buffy was knocked out and instantly Xander attacked Olaf and disarmed him. More assumptions on your part and actions that are noticeably absent from my fic.

3.Anya was a practicing witch long before she was a demoness, so yes she could power it. Magic doesn't go wonky on Xander unless the writer decides it does as it's been shown in canon that magic does indeed work normally on him.

You seem bound and determined to insist that Buffy have the hammer, but in canon it was ignored and tossed aside until Anya brought it up and here it is Xander's personal weapon, so while sending Xander with injuries away it was deemed decent protection so they wouldn't send him off unarmed even if they were counting on the place being safe.

4.Xander was split in canon and the two shared a lot of characteristics regardless of the few that were split between them, so for all you know the split this time is between which one likes chocolate and which one likes peanut butter. Anya and Xander played with the FG a lot and I made that very plain.

5.Swinging a hammer with any sort of control requires using one arm for force and the other more for control, at least that's how I swing a sledge when I want to hit a target. Regardless you keep making claims, none of which are backed up by the events in the story.

Go Olaf someone else.

Um - What logic? Here's what you say in your fic, and please correct me if I'm wrong:

1) The troll hammer is a weapon that changes its mass based on the personality of the wielder, in other words, how much it likes them(and it discovers that immediately, without observation).

2) In "Triangle," instead of what really happened, one of two events occurred - either a)Olaf, without his hammer, knocked Buffy out, something never done without poison or illness in the entire show, or b)Xander, with no help and one arm broken, disarmed Olaf. In either case, he then proceeded to (with both arms, including the broken one) beat him to death with it.

3) Facing the impending attack of Glory, the Scoobies then take the opportunity to put themselves more in harm's way by a combination of doubling the danger to one of them (remember, if one of the two halves dies, they both do), and by sending away one of their few highly effective weapons in the hands of their most injured comrade.

4)Xander comes to the base, immediately becomes 'old home week' to the marines, and a diplomat to the officers. He is highly aware of high-end medical technology(yes, I know, Star Wars, but he speaks tech-speak about it), to the point where he doesn't choke when liquid comes down his esophagus. Whether you can breathe or not afterward isn't the issue.

5) During the time in the tank, his arm seems to have healed.

These seem to be the main points, and so I'll address them.

1) Certainly possible, with magic and the like happening.

2a) How? Glory, a full-on Hellgod, wasn't able to do this.
2b) Again, huh? If Xander could, wouldn't he have done this before his arm got broken?
2) Exactly how does Xander move his arm, let alone support and weight on it, when it's broken?

3) If they thought that the doubling was in any way safe, wouldn't Buffy have doubled so that she could stay with her mom and patrol, as well? If the hammer had such an effect on both Olaf and Buffy, don't you think it might have been kept for defense against Glory?

4) You can say that the split left his more confident, more intelligent self to go to Jack. But if so, isn't that leaving the much weaker 'twin' closer to harm's way? In that case, wouldn't it be more prudent to send the entire Xander to Jack (which would ean that he wouldn't be as suave, but he was only planning to have a week at the cabin, right?)?

5) They don't have instant bone healing at SGC. Sarcophaguses and ribbon devices are the only things in the SG-'verse that would do that, and I don't think that they have any - and in anycase, you didn't have them using those devices on Xander.

Please, let me know if my facts are in error. Unless they are, then this is not just a complainer. You, as author, can change what you want to, with any degree of precision you like. But, especially as a fanfic writer, you have to explain your changes and apply them to the whole 'verse, to be honest with your readers, and let them keep their suspension of disbelief.

I took a look at your stories so I'd know where the bias was and it was pretty obvious the grouping of B/W stories kinda gives that away as well as the fact that Xander is below even Giles in the word count. You seem to feel Xander doing anything well means I must be insulting your favorite characters and they must somehow be doing less well.

1.You're claiming the hammer has eyes and ears to observe people with now? At no point has the author stated that Xander's belief about the hammer is the absolute truth. As far as I know he doesn't know that much about magical weapons or how to analyze them magically.

2.More baseless claims which don't actually fit the story. The first thing you claim is that Olaf knocked Buffy out without the hammer, which was never claimed by me, as if Buffy wasn't knocked out why would Xander need to get involved? The second claims is that Xander disarmed Olaf and beat him to death. I never claimed that at all. But feel free to keep putting up all these straw men and claiming I made them.

3.Anya was the one who got them thinking of the hammer as a weapon they should use against Glory. No Anya, no thought of using the hammer, which really they should have in canon and I really don't know why they didn't. Sending an injured member way the hell out of danger seems like the right thing to do to me, but hey maybe having Xander injured and hanging around was brighter than sending an injured half of him ways away from the fighting.

4.' Xander comes to the base, immediately becomes 'old home week' to the marines, and a diplomat to the officers.' - Where in the world are you reading this from, because as far as I know being a friend to his friends there and very polite to the brass doesn't remotely cover what you're claiming. Highly aware of high-end medical technology? You mean the crap I made up off the top of my head? Wow, I should be a doctor as apparently I'm brilliant according to you. Why would knowledge of medical tech (that doesn't exist except in star wars books) affect his ability to not choke when water goes down his throat as you claim? That just makes no sense.

5.His arm seems to have healed in the tank. Heh, a tank that promotes healing and works even better on him due to his quirks and an high tech alien cast equals total healing? Wow, so why is he still in the cast then?

Second half of your review going over main points as apparently you have more straw men to set up:

1.Yes, a wizard did it does cover a lot. Magic is magic.

2a.Buffy has been knocked out by blunt force trauma, such as being hit over the head with a lead pipe by a possessed Cordelia Chase in "Bad Eggs" and with a detached mannequin arm by Ethan Rayne in "The Dark Age", and was also rendered unconscious when Drusilla jolted her with a cattle prod in "Crush". Where you get the idea that no one has ever knocked her out I don't know, regardless I never claimed Olaf didn't have the hammer when he knocked her out, which you keep claiming I have.
2b.Who said he could do it before his arm got broken? Are you claiming that people in deadly situations who pull off amazing feats could have done them earlier and were just faking not being able to before? Wow, so my uncle can actually lift a car when no one is in danger and was just being a dick about not doing it until the jack slipped.
2.I've had a broken arm before and climbed down a two story building and went home. Have you ever broken your arm? You seem to have the idea that it magically makes the arm immobile.

3.So returning Xander to active duty with the Scoobs and sending his injuries elsewhere when facing a major threat is the same as having Buffy patrol and watch movies at home with her mom? Besides she didn't have the FG, Anya and Xander did and as was gone into in detail they found a lot of interesting ways to use it rather than how it was used as an assassins weapon in canon. And once more with the hammer. Anya is the one who came up with all the good ideas while everyone was going nuts. Buffy bitched and Anya laid out some damn good ideas, but she's not here so she didn't.

4.I never claimed anything about the version sent out.

5.Why are you claiming his arm is healed every five seconds?


You make a lot of claims that just aren't backed up by the story I wrote. They aren't in there.

Nope, I read through the rest of it, and Xander Sue rides again. Your explanation for why Xander was able to wield the hammer doesn't hold water. You postulate that basically because the hammer likes Xander, that it reduces its mass for him until the point of impact(by the way, the word you were looking for when they were discussing this was 'trajectory,' not 'velocity'). That's all well and good, until you note that there aren't any personality traits in common, other than sentient beings - and you kill that when Anise can't lift it. Not to mention that its objective mass was well over a hundred kilograms.

And that's just the in-story problems with it, the breakdown in the internal logic. With the backstory done the way it is, it demeans both Buffy and Xander's characters, making them less then they are, for no apparent reason, other than you wanted Xander to hold the hammer and save the day. We won't get into the apparently heightened intelligence, and the way his reactions to people in authority changes, but, adding it all up? Xander Sue, and not the best example thereof.

You did get an extra point for pinging Anise around like a croquet ball.

Translation: I feel like complaining and logic won't sway me so let me make a handful of claims and leave.

I like some parts of this - the mechanics of it were done very well. The devil was in the details.

Okay, let's start at the beginning. What did Xander do to make himself suddenly significantly stronger than Spike? Because Spike could not move the hammer, using both hands and his full strength - yet you have Xander managing to carry it, in one hand, for the better part of a mile without tiring. Well, add to that that apparently he can wield it meaningfully in one hand, since they're in a big fight with Glory, and they're SENDING A POWERFUL WEAPON AWAY, that must mean that the Scoobies think that he can use it, and will need to. So when did Xander pick up Buffy-class strength and hammer skills?(one might say that the tale told Wendy was just a pack of lies to cover the fact that Buffy's the Slayer, but then why was Xander carrying it in the first place?) It can be done, but show your work.

Really, show your work, because, by changing the backstory literally mid- "Triangle", you mess with not only the general theme of the show, but one of the better expressions of Xander's character within it. First you mess with the main message of the show, by having Xander have to come to the rescue of poor defenseless Buffy who got knocked out, and take out what knocked her out with one arm behind his back(well, in a sling, but the comparison remains). Also, one wonders how he could so easily take out an opponent that broke his arm minutes before with no trouble at all.

By having him be the one to take out Olaf, apparently by Super!Xandering him in the middle of the fight, you destroy one of the most wonderful displays of Xander's character overall, and likely the best one of him in Season 5. It takes little courage to say, "you can't have either," when one is on an even footing with one's attacker. When you are outclassed as badly as Olaf outclassed Xander, to say that, knowing that you're almost certainly going to die because of it, well it becomes a whole different statement, everyman digging in and not letting things go any further. A statement that you want to throw away because you want to give Xander a toy. That's fine, you're the author, but show your work. At present (at the end of the second chapter where I got too disgusted to continue), you haven't.

You did a wonderful characterization of Jack, though he ended up just disappearing without explanation. Your idea of having Sunnydale alumni joining SGC in meaningful amounts, while not original, was certainly workable, and I enjoyed it. Having an Oxnard alum there was a very good thing. The interaction between Xander and Hammond can mostly be put down to the actions of the ferrula-gemini, but it's stretching to say that there's going to be an order to support the Scoobies whenever they appear, just because of one incident a half year ago. And if you say it's Xander in particular, you stretch things to the breaking point. Show your work! Why did Xander suddenly get overpowered, why did he get singled out for support(if, indeed, he did)?

Anyway, this ended up being a not-horrible fic torpedoed by what the author didn't know or chose to ignore about his source.

Xander isn't overpowered nor is he suddenly as strong as a slayer. You've read a couple of chapters and apparently expect to be spoon fed all the answers up front, that just isn't as much fun so I didn't write it that way.

HAHAHAHAHA! AWESOME! Wish you were still writing on this. I loved it! (And I normally never read anything but slash, so that's how much I loved it.)

I love this story! I keep coming back to it for a nice relaxing, yet hilarious, read! I do hope you get re-inspired, and come back to it.

Oh, and you might throw in an explanation for how Xander is able to use a Hand device, when that requires Naqadah in the bloodstream, normally.

I don't buy needing Naqadah in the bloodstream, that sucker has its own supply.

You need to update this sucker, I want to know how Jack is going to react to the demonic residents of Sunnydale, his nephew's role in fighting against them, and the existence of magic.

Great story!! Hope to see more soon!!!

SARAH

1. If you've Got a Big Enough Hammer

nice start and funny meeting with former 'friends'.

2. Magic on the mic

hehe nice meeting with the General *g*
lol about X, the Bacta tank and deciding how to wake him up *g*

Ch 3

lol nice 'flirting' with the doc.
rofl...nice Hammer action

Ch 4

hehe soon Xander will now all females on the base quite well and wow his first alien
*g* nice conference call. hope to see more soon

I was just reading this story again. I really liked it very funny. I hope you pick it back up again some time. Particularly like the King part. Keep up the good work.