This is an interesting story so far, but I'm having trouble really getting into it. I mean, I want to read more, but I don't feel like I AM the characters when I'm reading. I wish I could give you some constructive criticism to help. The best I can say is that I don't understand the characters completely. Like at least one reviewer said, how does Xander plan to support himself without a high school degree and presumably a job? It probably doesn't help that I haven't watched Avatar.
That said, I do want to learn what happens next so please update when you can.
Comments from author:
That's actually been a problem of mine for a while, actually. It's hard to write so that way the reader feels in the moment. I'm always trying to work on it, but it's a tough thing to do especially since it's not a full time thing by any means. As for Xander and supporting himself, well, he really isn't thinking about it. It will be brought up before the end, and I guess I didn't have that come across very well. If there's anything that you can suggest that might help to make things a bit more clear to anyone who hasn't seen Avatar, I'm always open to suggestions. Thanks for the review and sorry it took so long to respond!
Interesting bit of work, to say the least (And this from a guy whose knowledge of “Last Airbender” is limited to the basics).
The opening might have raised a few questions about Ethan’s motives for his interest in Xander, but the Scoobies’ attempts to deal with it were very well-described, and the reasons why Xander didn’t remember anything about his Halloween experiences earlier made sense when they were explained.
Once you get on to the training, the situation continues to develop in a highly interesting manner, Giles’s uncertainty about the scale of Xander’s new powers being effectively counterbalanced by his observations as Xander learns how to control and refine his new abilities, even before the EXCELLENT twist of making Vamp Willow a long-term villain rather than the one-shot character she was originally (Excellent exploration of her disturbed mental state as she reflects on what she wants to do to Xander, on that topic).
I was a bit confused at first by the fact that Lindsey was portrayed as having left Wolfram & Hart a year before he even MET Angel, but it did create an interesting plot twist that you explained in a satisfactory manner later on, and I look forward to seeing how things go from here (Although, on that topic, will Angel be going to Los Angeles in this reality, or is he just going to stay?).
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [27 Apr 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Good story. I'm sorry that I didn't start it sooner. Excellent use of the Carpenter - I'm glad he has his own cards ;)
Awesome use of Zuko's mom. I'm surprised Ozai walked away from Azula intact. Good post Avatar drama.
I've always wanted to see a potential Book 4: Air, where it turns out that bending-null members from various tribes are actually aspected towards elements they normally wouldn't find training in, so Aang is able to refound the Airbending school, with Sokka as a member.
I like the leakage of the Avatar mythos through the recovered books. Nice explanation for the YAHF being stretched into its current shape by Wolfram and Hart. Still no idea who the dark technophobic usurper of the Mayor's domain is - I thought at first that it could be the Scythe's Guardian from Season 7 Buffy with a much harsher motive than normal, but I'm not sure how she could've been outside of Sunnydale to begin with.... Oh. Heh, typing this out just gave me a better idea of whom you might be using :)
Good fight scenes. Dark Willow is awesome. Nice use of a ratted Amy being uncorked in a bad place :D
Sokka as a Firebender?? Complete awesomeness :D Hope he has lightning powers ;)
Comments from author:
I figured even if Micheal didn't have a card that said, "Knight of the Cross" he's at least have some for his job. (Which will come into play soon)
That isn't a bad idea for a Book 4. Though I always figured Ty Lee to be more of an Airbender for some reason. If anything, Sokka might be Firebender material, if only to keep with his own Xander-like qualities of things taking a left turn for him.
I'm actually kind of curious as to who you think it might be now. Specualtion is a hobby of mine with everything! The Guardian...huh, never even thought about her. I don't think I cared for her, she was just more of a plot device I always thought. But you need those once in a while.
More Dark Willow to come. Vamp Amy is...well, dead now, so no more of her.
I was going to mention that to you at the end! It looks to be interesting. If the writting is still great I'm all for it. The whole non-benders vs benders will be fun to watch.
Thanks for reading and glad you've enjoyed.
Review By [Shieldage] • Date [20 Apr 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
I went through a few chapters of this then I realized that I've read this one. At some point Xander gets so pacifistic he won't kill a Vampire... which Aang's memories or not is one of the stupidest thing I've ever read in fanfiction and I've read some of My Immortal.
If I'm wrong then I'm sorry and I think someone has plagiarized your work and you should look into that.
Comments from author:
I think you read this one back when it was starting. Xander did get that way for a while, but there was a reason behind it. But, that did change. Sorry you didn't like it, but it's not everyones cup of tea.
Review By [LanceAvalon] • Date [20 Apr 11] • Rating [2 out of 10]
i love this story even if i don't review it very often. i love that lindsey is switching sides. *laughs and hands you scones*
Comments from author:
Sweet, I get a scone. As long as you like what you're reading, that's fine. Lindsey always seemed like the type to switch when it suited him. Thanks for reading.
Review By [slmncpm] • Date [18 Apr 11] • Not Rated
It isn't a spoiler, so I don't mind saying it. No, Wesley will not Firebend. Not that it wouldn't be fun and interesting to work with, it just doesn't fit with this story and my plans for Wesley. But, that doesn't mean other things wont happen to the young Watcher. Thanks for reading.
Review By [Klimmatt] • Date [26 Mar 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Whats with that dumb "wont kill vampires" thing its not like hes really killing them hes just ending them back to the dimension they came from. Thats like part of the Avatars job. Keep the spirit world and the normal world from interfering with each other.
He killed them a lot during the summer between season 2 and three.
Comments from author:
True, he did. But, at least in this fic, the vampires aren't from another dimension, not in the Spirit World sense. They are still plan ol' demonic beings. But, as you can see from the progression of the story, Xander has, for the most part, come to terms with killing vampires and demons and the like.
Review By [enderverse] • Date [17 Feb 11] • Not Rated
Well I know relationships are twisted on the show but this isnt anything like the show lol. The one thing I didnt like bout the show was no one was happy at all. just once i would like to see a happy ending. my usual happy endings are xander/dawn, xander/faith, xander/cordelia, (or if done well xander/tara)
You have probably written the best characterization for a Xander-with-superpowers crossover that I've read in years. Xander's changed in reasonable ways, but is still entirely recognizable. The other characters react with an appropriate amount of suspicion for his powers and wistfulness for their old Xander-shaped friend. There's no character bashing. No miraculous new understanding that allows people to fix all the problems with canon. Not even perfect relationships between the characters. I'm really impressed with the realism here (so far as realism exists in the BtVS universe).
Comments from author:
Thanks, I was going for something with a bit more "real world" pain in the ass stuff. Then I blinked and realized that it's been 16 chapters and people are still slightly upset with each other. Maybe its a bit too real? But, thanks again. I hope to keep things like this, without any miracle fixes.
Shieldage
