Three things that bothered me. 1. Quentin's sister was his lover? Ick. Incest is not cute. 2. Xander didn't notice a girl crying? I don't think so... 3. Animals of any stripe don't belong in restaurants. Period. Xander KNOWS this. He would never have taken his owl inside.
Review By [RedCalypso] • Date [29 Jan 13] • Not Rated
You owe someone a *debt*, not a depth. Your story has many misused words and other issues that bug me, but it's a great plot. I would be happy to edit for you, or you could get someone you know to help proofread. Computer programs will not catch words used in the wrong way if they are looking for miss-spellings.
Comments from author:
ok I think I fixed that issue in ever chapter I found it in. Tx for pointing that out. To be frank I have given up on finding people to help out. A lot offer, but only a sad few ever come through with a bit of help.
Review By [DesitaniaF] • Date [10 Nov 12] • Not Rated
A little confused about the Thaumaturge, is that the new name for wand wizards or just those those that use a second type of magic. Might want to clarify that.
Like the idea of the books, wonder how much money Xander is making off of them though.
I rip though large fanfics like this at least once a day, and this one caught my attention and thus far I have really enjoyed it please do not let ye old muse bite you in the arse as this story has quite abit of potential.
I am really looking forward to the next chapter of this story. As always thank you for writing it.
Comments from author:
same as with Kishooten a lot to beta and to post on this fic, but no time and energy to fix it up. I do a page now and then, but atm it's really slow going for me. (Hawklan)
Review By [SMorgan] • Date [2 Nov 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
One thing I don't understand is how high-magic is the counter of technology, because so far I'm not seeing it.
EDIT:The problem I see is that the one advantage that tech has over magic is mass production, you can field a high-tech army with powerful weapons so much faster than you can train magic users.
Comments from author:
Just think about the way Xander hurt the Death eaters. there are MORE way he can hurt non-magical. Those demons he send loose are extremly difficult to kill using NON-magical ways.
A earth wave like the one he attacked snape with properly overpowered could take out a house or burry a battle tank.
Three months to change a lifetime of learned behavior? Even for someone without a direct personal reason and just an indirect personal reason such as this, I find it hard to believe. If it was just a financial institution run by a human, then yes, I could see a three month turnaround to /thaw/ a person's opinion, but "a year before she called a goblin friend"? No, I just don't buy it.
The scene with Albus at the end was pretty good though.
Review By [Genericrandom] • Date [27 Oct 12] • Rating [3 out of 10]
First, I really like the story so far. I just have one question, the students range from 11 to 19, are the scoobies going to be happily slaughtering 11 and 12 year olds.
tchizek
