I'm glad to see you took the reviews to heart. You have a really good idea here and it looks your enthusiasm made you rush out of the gate so to speak. I am anxiously awaiting your rewrite, I'm sure it will be great.
I like the idea that you had for the story and the fact that is you are doing a Stargate Femslash fanfic, witch is rare. But i think you are, besides rushing into the story, over looking some things. Buffy would never just trust in the military like thins and go work for them that easily, it would take time and effort for that to happen and she wouldn't just tell all her life to them out of the blue, it would happen gradually as she gets to know and trust SG-1. Maybe you should let Buffy and Sam met outside of the SGC first, with both not knowing of each other. Make them connect as civilians first, it would be a big surprise when Buffy appear on SGC as this mysterious recruit from the president. I know this is YOUR story, so this are just tips, just my opinion, really. Take things slow, take your time and let the story flow on its on. Oh, and don't call Buffy Elizabeth, please? Its not her name and the cool thing of the name Buffy are the teasing and she getting mad about it. =P
Well, good luck with the rest of the story, i will be here reading it =D ;*
Review By [Luhh] • Date [22 Jan 11] • Not Rated • Add Comment
I like where you're going with the story and the pace might be a bit quick but I'm hoping it slows once Buffy meets up with SG1. Almost everything had me interested until you came up with Buffy using the name Elizabeth. How can she do that when her legal name is Buffy Anne Summers? Do you have a logical explanation and will you share it? Hope to see more soon.
I think you are rushing this story - Buffy has left the gang, move half way across the country and met and explained her life as a slayer in three short parts! Also I do not think she would explain Dawn's existence to strangers especially military - can you say NID/Trust disaster waiting to happen.
Fair story, but nothing really interesting about it, and you lost alot of believability with the grand house being provided to Buffy, and then her being so open to SGC, even telling them some very personal stuff.
Review By [Thedruid] • Date [22 Jan 11] • Rating [3 out of 10] • Add Comment
“Bu - Elizabeth Summers, I’m supposed to meet Major General Hammond,” Buffy said using her real name, deciding to go by that from now on. ‘Buffy is in the past, for this new life Elizabeth is what I’ll go by.’
Buffy is her real name. Elizabeth is fanon not canon.
About the "don't ask don't tell" policy, you could always make this AU pretend congress grew a pair and abolished the no gays in the military 30 years ago. Or the Supreme Court actually upheld the Constitution and viewed everybody as equal before the law.
An interesting beginning, if a little fast for my tastes. How the advertised pairing develops should be interesting as well, especially since Stargate is set in the years of the "don't ask don't tell" policy. I look forward to more soon. :)
I really like the start of your story, the idea and the way you write. I also like this pairing which you do see as many time as I'd like. I can't wait to read what happen next.
Review By [aria] • Date [7 Jan 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
