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Road Trip Gone... Huh...

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Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from Acheloo
Review:
Wow! Great xover! Looking forward to your next update!
Review By [Acheloo] • Date [8 May 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from Hanzo
Review:
♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story.♥
Review By [Hanzo] • Date [7 May 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from FakeOut
Review:
Really liking what you've got here so far. It'd been a while since I'd watched any Black Lagoon, so I had to look up a few of the characters you're using here; but they're making for an enjoyable read. I'm looking forward to reading any updates you put out.
Review By [FakeOut] • Date [7 Apr 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from eriktheviking
Review:
I like the story and how it involves the different characters rather than just plain old action.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [6 Apr 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from Omegaprime
Review:
Too bad ADAM has been erased in this time line because I think Revvy could have had fun with him.

But I don't know about that, I have only seen short commercials about that show on YouTube and info from Wikipedia... *walks away, wondering where I can find it* But I do know that Revvy is kinda insane... Uh oh, don't tell me she has the hots for Xander?

I also see Sunnydale and LA in flames.

Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
No no she's not into Xander ^^. Rock/Revy all the way man! They're just stopping for a few days to make a delivery, and to hopefully add some funnies to this story, is all. Oh and FYI, this story is taking place after the Lagoon canon storyline.
Review By [Omegaprime] • Date [5 Apr 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from JediKnight
Review:
Great job on the new chapter, hope to read more of your work soon.

-You have got to have Revy and Faith meet.
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [5 Apr 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from trongod
Review:
Poor, poor Xander; all these beautiful women, his friends in so many ways he doesn't even begin to understand.... He really must've ticked off Murphy, or Janus is playing with his life still. And now, Revvy!

I can see Faith and Sawyer, then Shenshua becoming fast friends with the common enemies of Buffy and Willow - though Cordelia could go either way, should she come into the equation - and Faith assisting Sawyer in her stealth courting of Xander; maybe encouraging her to be less stealthy after a certain amount of time. Especially when she sees how the Condescending Ones react to the "theft" of Xander by The Skank ( as Willow no doubt still calls her) And Her Skanky Sleazes right in front of their very eyes.

I do want to see Dawn and Joyce's take on all this, though. Joyce as a neutral observer, and Dawn as a wpman who wants in on The Great Xander Harem A.S.A.P.
Review By [trongod] • Date [5 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from HolyKnight
Review:
LA its going to burn, no?
Review By [HolyKnight] • Date [4 Apr 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7 - Grey Hair and Jobs" from cwolf
Review:
This should be an interesting reunion.
Review By [cwolf] • Date [4 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6 - Well, Hello There..." from sunamee
Review:
This is a great story. I look forward to seeing how things will change.
Review By [sunamee] • Date [4 Apr 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6 - Well, Hello There..." from JediKnight
Review:
Good job on the new chapter, I'm glad Faith most likely won't be doing the body-switch. Please do your best to add more soon. I highly recommend you bring in the Lagoon company; Revy meets Faith.
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [27 Mar 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6 - Well, Hello There..." from Godogma
Review:
You need to show the reader what is happening, not tell them - you also need to do something other than brief flashbacks for character interaction. Honestly, you just broke season four down into four or so paragraphs and skipped any chance for character growth in the process.

Its jumpy, you skip around way too much and in its current form the chapter is not understandable. If you want Xander to wind up with Shenhua you're going to have to show lots of progression along the way as well as some damn character interaction instead of these prosaic little scenes and flashbacks. Your story was actually working better at the beginning than it is now.
Comments from author:
Hmm, well I do thank you for your honesty. But quick question by what do you mean to show and not to tell? Why do you think it's jumpy or skippy? Anyway I digress, thank you for your input but it doesn't really help if I don't know exactly what you mean. To be fair though I am thinking of re-writing it, making it longer, etc., etc. (You know while I'm awake instead of a practical zombie.), and then breaking it into two parts. I would be more than happy if you wish to have input on it, but please explain yourself a little more fully or I won't know exactly what you're getting at. Oh and please keep in mind that while I'm all for improving my writing skills, if I try to take it too seriously it starts feeling less like fun and more like work, you know?
Review By [Godogma] • Date [26 Mar 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6 - Well, Hello There..." from trongod
Review:
Love the whole Walsh/Spike smackdown; very nice!! Reintroducing Faith at this point will make things get real... interesting, shall we say?... for Xander, as she's too observant /not/ to see how Shenhua and Sawyer feel about him, as well as how Buffy is slipping into her own style of obsession - since Xander is, you know, unavailable to her and all.

Personally, after the Lap Dance And Public Humiliation Expo she put on and her proven necrophiliac tendencies, I'd say the Xander feelings toward her are less than romantic.

But back to Faith: Sawyer and Shenhua will feel threatened by them living together, until they see how he treats Faith no different than they get treated, and that Faith's presence sends Buffy nutso, a plus mark for Faith in their books. And Faith will /not/ be able to resist bonking Buffy up side the head as she watches the intricate dance going around an oblivious Xander...

Pity she won't be joining in on the fun, though. A Faith/Sawyer/Shenhua/Xander Sandwich would be fun to read as they wander around.... (How's THAT for subtle?)
Review By [trongod] • Date [26 Mar 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6 - Well, Hello There..." from HolyKnight
Review:
Oh shi........Do not let Faith and Revy meet, PERIOD. They either kill each other, or end as thick as blood siblings after the first meeting.
Review By [HolyKnight] • Date [26 Mar 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6 - Well, Hello There..." from Omegaprime
Review:
Wow, In one fell swoop you have stopped Spike, ADAM and a crazy Faith.

I see that Xander is not picking up on Buffy's signals that she likes him because he is now a dangerous person now.

Keep up the good work.

P.S. Is anyone from that place (villian or otherwise) going to come to Sunnydale?
Review By [Omegaprime] • Date [26 Mar 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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