A well written and entertaining start.

No Willow, Kendra, Faith or Anya? Is that permanently, or temporary?

Btw, this still leaves a lot of room for other. Dawn, Joyce, Jenny, Cordy, Kate...

Gah, tenses need an overhauling. Not sure how I feel about the rest yet.

keep the good stuff coming.

Great start to the story. I like the whole background of the gods and the PTB. I look forward to seeing where it will go from here. Please update soon.

It's good. just a small nit -- Janus mentioned that that PTB's would try to take the power ... can they is the question.... after all, Xander took the power from the OLD Gods, who are older than that PTB's.... and can help if called.

Dawn, Jenny or Joyce
are the women to go
cu'z this Xander will rock
and these girls do so.

and check your spelling ;D

First, I am not doing this rhyme thing.

Second, this is an interesting start in which the higher ups start thier campaign against the PTBs.

I never expeted Xander to become a Belmont, those poor vamps and demons.

Keep up the good work.

I have to say this fic is quite fine,
excellent really with plot characters and course.
a shame it is one chapter not nine!
Still i can only lay compliments on the source

Great start can't wait for more. I would like to see a xander cordelia pairing if possible

How to rhyme so say I had a good time

And then to add, the Xander lad, can feel older and need a more mature woman at hand


Oh, and orange

Thanks

Decent start, there were a few spelling and punctuation errors but not many. One mistake I noticed was that you had Lothos as the Master when he was the master vampire that Buffy killed in LA before the series started. The Master was Heinrich Nest. Beyond that you had some pretty good action and good detail in your writing. As for pairings I would like to see a Xander/Buffy/Cordy thing happen but if not then I would settle for just Xander/Buffy. Just so long as Buffy is not with the corpse at all then I'll be happy. Looking forward to more! Update soon!

Yeah, i knew that and i thought i removed it before publishing sorry about that

Decent start.

One thing that annoyed me were the thought "bubbles". They didn't seem to fit the style, you're not writing in first person, and could be handled differently. As it is I find the sudden intrusion of the inner thoughts jarring. For one, since this is a Xander fic we only have to know Xander's thoughts and you can tell us those instead of "hearing" them. Second, the other characters can use body language to display what they feel or think. Xander doesn't need to see it.

When Buffy calls Willow a Harlot, you could have said that Willow "didn't look pleased" the insult. The same with the scene with Joyce and Dawn. Their reactions can be done by body language and facial expressions.

Actually the thought bubbles is caarry over from my other stories on FF.net

good starting love the last part.hope it will be epic story as good as terran jedi

This is off to a great start.... only hope this ain't slash. IF this is a multi-cross then I've a few to suggest: Lara Croft (if for pairing), Danger Girls (the comic books - for pairings as well), Harry Potter (Probably any of the Harry Potter girls - ie, Hermione, Luna, Fluer, etc - I'd say this one would be a good crossover because of its in-built supernatural element already with everything a hunter like the Belmonts can fight against - Moldyshorts is right up their alley of "bad things to kill"), Supernatural, Dogma (even the PTB's have to have a boss - and GOD fits the bill), Charmed, DC comics (a lot of stuff there but too many to choose from to make a coherent story if you just want to concentrate on core characters - plus most of the heroes have a no-kill policy that is sooo fun to go against when you shove a true demon right into their face that really needs to be put down - of course, the "misunderstood hero battle" between him and Etrigan would be a hoot to read).

Just please no Twilight Saga.... can't stand that shite since my ex couldn't stop obsessing over it ever since the movie came out.

Basically, from what I remember, the Belmont's are their universe's version of Paladins in their Castlevania stories/games.... melding something like that in the Buffyverse is pure gold.

Lara is in my lists, don´t know Danger grils, i am not a fan of HP crosses with anything so no, ´the DC element may work but i have to wait and see and i agree twilight blah!