Did you think about Michael Rimmer? He thinks outside of the box.

Not exactly the right era for him, I think, but nice idea.

You are completely barking mad, and should be locked away somewhere quiet.

After you finish this story, of course.

Hmm, does the Stig have an extraterrestrial cousin?

Could be...

I have been looking forward to this ever since you mentioned it. I'd thoroughly recommend it to anyone - provided that they keep all beverages well away from the computer as they read...

I have to say that my favourite line so far is "Worse we’ll do there is blow up Stonehenge. That’ll annoy the hippies, so it’s a win/win situation.”

Well, that's JC for you...

I've just spent the past half hour or so cackling like I've been gassed with Smilex (and possibly scaring the living daylights out of my neighbours in the process; everything's gone quiet next door, so they may well be cowering under a table... or I suppose there's a very faint and slim chance they might just be out instead) having read this chapter.

...Bloody hellfire, that was good stuff and then some. :D

Lessee, what're the elements that REALLY make this work... well, for one thing, the dialogue is flawlessly brilliant; for a second, all the exposition is provided in the dialogue and there's absolutely none in prose format, which is always a big tick in the 'plus' column so far as I'm concerned; the characterisation was constantly dead-on; the combination of crossovers is a fantastic blend indeed; and the basic premise and plot are so gloriously barking mad that they're a true delight to behold. And the use of turns of phrase such as "why in The Stig’s name" was just fan-tastic - nice one! :)

So, let me see if I've got this straight - the team currently consists of Jezza, Hamster, Captain Slow, the Stig, Sir Patrick Moore, and possibly Wallace & Gromit? I'm guessing that the whole Top Gear team will be actually going up to land on the asteroid; are they taking any of the others with them? Will they need a demolitions expert, (I'm assuming that they'll use some manner of explosive to divert the asteroid's trajectory) or will they rely on Jezza and Co.'s usual talent for mayhem and destruction to take care of it? And is there any chance of an ex-Hereford Hooligan/Shakyboat chappy with a pixellated face turning up to help to train the Top Gear team?

By the way, just a small piece of concrit: you missed off a highlight from Sir Patrick Moore's career. In 1996, he starred as himself in the radio play 'Independence Day UK' (a tie-in with the blockbuster film 'Independence Day'), during which he variously tracked alien spacecraft entering British airspace, and entered into a brief fistfight with one of the alien invaders, over whom he was victorious. Well worth listening to if you get the opportunity. ;)

Thanks for the great read, and best wishes with your future literary endeavours,

El :)

Edited to add:

Excellent - looking forward to the next chapter. Tally ho! :)

I'd forgotten that highlight of his career.

Takeoff will be tomorrow, you'll know more then!

I... have no words.

This is madness, in the best possible sense of the word. Just... madness. :D

It gets sillier...