Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Revenge of the Vampire

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from (Past Donor)ScottWanderer
Review:
This a pretty good dark story with all the old scoobies, bar Giles going dark. Buffy, Amy and Angle/Liam have definately gone full on evil with a corrupted Willow working in the wings. And Xander has gone Dark and Evil, but the type of evil that the world can live with.

Xander as undead is scary, from the alternate reality we know that He and Willow became Master Vampires in a mere three years. Give him the demon that made Angelus', the remanant of the Hyena, Soldier Boy, and his human soul and we are talking a newbie vamp that would boss around Lothos, Nest, and Kakistos.

As for the Kalderash angle, I could see them having manipulated things form the outside to get Xander the things he needs in order to punish Angel/Liam and Buffy. After all they would see that Xander was strong enough to control the Demon, so they'd start really blaming Liam.

Faith I could see being redeemed, mostly by if she heard what buffy did to Xander she'd be appalled. After all the guy had only saved Buffy's life at least four times, the first time after only knowing her for a day.
Review By [(Past Donor)ScottWanderer] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I like how this is essentially already "dark" but doesn't have to be without redemption... for Xander, Faith, Tara and Giles.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I can see the set-up being plausible. Since Willow left Buffy in her grave when she brought her back in cannon, I can see them not thinking about where Xander would be when he became a vampire. I'm not quite sure about the whole discounting the fact that Xander would still have a soul thing. Xander didn't choose to become a vampire, and then they blamed him.

I can see him being angry about that. However, the fact that they sent him away from the hellmouth may be the only thing that "redeemed" his existance/soul corruption... the thing that gave him enough centeredness to find the two wizards in question.

And yes, I'd be very angry at Willow and/or Amy for making Giles forget what they did.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from trongod
Review:
i went thru the other reviews and got to wondering - Knowing how intense Xander felt about his friends (to the point of telling Buffy flat out that if Willow was hurt, Buffy /would/ die by his hand), the betrayal by Willow would be such that nothing she could say or do would save her from him. Buffy would eventually die, but not before Xander takes everything and everyone she loved from her.
I think Xander may actually contact Joyce, let her know exactly what happened to him and why, thereby splitting her from Buffy. Buffy would react to the point her own mother would doubt what little sanity the Slayer has, furthering the split. Joyce contacts Giles, who lets her realize something or someone is wrong with his memory, making her more suspicious of Buffy & Co., leading her to Faith, the outcast. Faith would have seen the games going on with no ability to do anything about it; an ally for Joyce and protection for them both.
Giles my/may not retrieve memories; depends on both Amy and Buffy's paranoia. Either way, he's going down. Xander can't afford him as an ally to Buffy.
Angel is the reason for all this; he will suffer the most. Just how, I'm not sure, but Xander hated him before this; the spell and all the Hell he's been through would make it even worse.
Review By [trongod] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from RafMereC
Review:
interesting
Raf
Review By [RafMereC] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from jormunguard
Review:
Interesting story concept. I'm going to have to give this story a pass though, there are just too many problems with your story that wouldn't work without going so OOC with characters that they wouldn't really be recognizable anymore. Good luck with your story.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [13 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from ora
Review:
Interesting story concept
Review By [ora] • Date [11 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Maltor
Review:
You sure do have a thing for Xander/Tara. Not that I'm complaining. I like the changes you've made though I have some questions that I hope will be answered at some point in future chapters. What happened to Cordelia and Wesley? Did Angel retain any of the extra vampire abilities like speed or strength? If he doesn't then I'm curious how Buffy and the others are able to let him join their patrols as a joe-normal guy if their argument against Xander was he had no special abilities. Will be interesting to see if you still have the initiative guys running around in the background causing problems for both camps. Look forward to reading more.
Comments from author:
I admit I love the idea of Xander/Tara as they seem to go well together especially if written well. Cordelia I have yet to place but she might show up, as for wesley I am again undecided but he may also show up at some point in the future then again maybe not. As for Angel, interesting idea, I won't say anything just yet whilst i think on it but for now I think that just adds to buffy's darker persona in this fic. As for the initiative guys, again undecided on if to use them, I'll think on it and if you have an preference please let me know (razial)
Review By [Maltor] • Date [10 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from BurningLight
Review:
Interesting start. He is going to be pissed that Faith was forgiven. Did she use the vampire poison on Angel in S3 or was he human then? If she did then Xander will be more than angry

Other points to think about
Who lead the battle against the mayor?
If it was Angel then who lead the fight against the vampires in the eclipse?
How will the initiative play out this time as Xander was the heart in the joining spell and is Cordelia dead without Angel to rescue her?

I think djhardim was trying to point out that the gypsies want revenge at all costs it would not mater that Angel is now human they would find some other curse of even pay a human or demon to do something to him to make him suffer.
Comments from author:
More surprised than pissed, and if your read carefullt BUffy does not exactly trust her even now. It is the rest of the group who thing she is redeamed so she is just going with the flow. I think in this instant Faith did not use the vampire poison as Buffy is abit more darker and obessive about Angel and she would not forgive that.

Oz proberly came up with the idea to blow up the mayor even if it is not stated he did so, it makes sense as he was friendly with xander before the fluke and they could have discussed it. As for who led what in the big fight well it would not be that different without xander and angel been human so it prity much played out as it did in cannon with small changes here and here. I do not know what I will do with the initiative in this story, I am still thinking over if to use them or not, any prefeence here will be considered.

perhaps he did and that sounds about right for the tribe but they are not going to play any real part in this story, anyway hope you enjoy what comes next. (razial)
Review By [BurningLight] • Date [10 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from michaelangelo
Review:
Served cold is, to forgive the pun, is cool. But to use her choices against her would be evil. Angel is now mortal and can be hurt by something that he could previously brush off, the scroll used against Xander can transfer disease as well? give him cancer or aids or some other incurable painful disease. Xander is now a souled vampire, what would Wolfram and Hart do for him to have him on their side? If Angel suffered something irreversible that he could have shrugged off as a vampire Buffy would blame herself and begin to doubt her choices, remember how Angelus used psychology against her?

Xander becoming a vampire and would give your evil Buffy an excuse to try and kill him, soul or not. Evil willow would follow her lead. Giles would doubt vampire Xander after being a victim of vampire Angelus and be swayed by the group. Xander could have been attacked by the group or given the order to get the hell outta town with bitter words being thrown about, like not even trying to change him back because Buffy was happy with the results = pissed off Xander.
Review By [michaelangelo] • Date [10 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from djhardim
Review:
What if Xander was to contact the Kalendish tribe or the Council of Watchers and tell them what happened?

Edit - The Kalendish tribe is still angry with Angel. I'm sure that there are plenty of things that they could do to Angel.
Comments from author:
nothing they could do, the tribe as far as I remember had lost the orginal curse long ago and as he is a vamp now they would not help him(razial)
Review By [djhardim] • Date [10 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from michaelangelo
Review:
OK, I wont heckle the shaky story background and the dubious OOC characters because this story is your world and anything is possible in an alternate universe. What confuses me is why didn't Xander just get a damn rifle and pop Angel's and Amy's ass from a long distance during the day then turn Tara, Buffy would blame herself because of Angels new mortality and no Amy to help her, problem solved. I'd suggest he also read the evil overlords handbook and look up the section concerning long convoluted plots and the use of guns. The scoobies greatest strength was it's ability to work as a team against a common foe.

The background of the scroll was a bit, meh. Having a Buffy's wish granted by a vengeance demon due to her righteous indignation over Xander's lie, "I wish you could see it from Angel's point of view" granted with a typical Vengeance demon twist for example.

Grammar needs a bit of buffing up. For example it needs (it's, that's and what's) instead of (it is, that is and what is). Kinda noticed and pointed this out before and normally I wouldn't point out grammar mistakes due to being bad at it myself. But it does make the characters come across as rather cardboard and boring, personality wise that is.
Comments from author:
Have you never heard the term revenge is a dish best served cold? what is the point of a quick kill especially in the buffy universe. No he wants to make this as painful for Buffy and the others involved as he can, yes the scroll was some what vague but it fit what I wanted to do here, using a vengeance demon would have been akin to a mistake made by buffy in the heat of the moment. no this way it is more personal. As for the grammar problems, thanks for pointing them out, sometimes I still make these misatkes.(razial)
Review By [michaelangelo] • Date [10 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DarthPayne
Review:
Hmm, interesting...

A couple of questions if i may:
1: Is Joyce still alive?
2: Will Buffy be killed, or become a ghoul?
Comments from author:
yes joyce is still alive as this is an alternate season 4 so that means no dawn either. As to what Buffy's fate will be, I'll leave that to be answered in the next two chapters. hope you enjoy them(razial)
Review By [DarthPayne] • Date [10 Apr 11] • Not Rated
start back Page: 4 of 4
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking