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The Son of Thunder

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Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from Rod
Review:
Apart from the fact that your tenses wobble in a most alarming manner, this reads more like a script for a comic than a story. That would be fine if it was supposed to be a script, but it isn't. The result is frenetic, light on characterisation, and hard to read in places because you're choosing to use fancy fonts rather than the usual speech tags. Sorry, but while I like your underlying story, your storytelling isn't doing it any favours.
Review By [Rod] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from Difdi
Review:
While the repercussions of melting a polar ice cap would be rather nasty for most coastal cities, it would hardly be the end of the world for the "surface dwellers".

If you were to melt every scrap of ice and snow on the planet (both poles, every glacier, every mountain range, etc) you'd produce an increase in global sea level of slightly more than 300 feet. The planet's a big a place and quite a bit of it is higher than 300 feet above sea level. The entire state of Colorado, the north half of Arizona and all points between, for example, are 5,000+ feet above sea level. They call Colorado the mile-high state for a reason.

New York would be screwed, so would Miami. Los Angeles would be underwater. So would the most built-up areas of Seattle. But I live in Seattle, and it wouldn't be the end of the world for me. My second-favorite library would be underwater, and I'd have trouble getting to work since I don't own a boat...but my place of employment and my house are both above the 400 foot level.

Waterworld was a bad movie for many reasons, not just having Kevin Costner in it.

Edited to add:

Good point. Atlantis's idea of a WMD raises global sea levels slowly enough that people could walk away from the rising waters so as not to drown. They're hardly prepared for what the rest of the world considers to be a WMD. A volley of city-buster nukes, mounted on torpedoes, programmed to detonate if Atlantean technology came within a mile of it would definitely wipe Atlantis off the map. Dropping a few capsules of VX gas on the city of Atlantis, in capsules that reach crush depth right at the average street level would be unspeakably nasty. For that matter, dropping a plane-load of plutonium pellets into the water above the city of Atlantis would pretty much wipe them off the planet too. Even if the radiation didn't get them, the moment they gathered up the pellets into a bucket to haul them away they'd achieve critical mass, and...

(multiple edits because I apparently can't spell today)
Comments from author:
I was more thinking along the lines MAD protocols when the use of WMDs enter the fray.
Review By [Difdi] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from msdarque
Review:
Interesting and great chapters.
Wonderful, exciting to read. Liked it. :)
Congrats!
Review By [msdarque] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Both worlds seem ignorant of the other. A kingdom that could have as few as 30 or as many as 300 citizens can't claim the entire ocean of the world, but neither can people who live on land remain ignorant that some of the waters are populated by people. Get them a transistor radio to start.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from Elleria
Review:
Looking forward to the next bit.
Review By [Elleria] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 1" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Good story. Two technical issues. First when you separate *SIGH* by a paragraph return the signal is that in a dialog between two people it is not the person who was just speaking who is sighing. I couldn't quite tell if that's what you actually meant. If it is meant to be the same person a period after the prior dialog is suffienct. Secondly in a scene with Superman and the Martian Manhunter in discussion with some of the others you wrote:


--According to eye witness accounts, Aquaman then forced his way past the guards and into closed session of the world delegates. But as to why he is here or what he wants will have to wait for further developments— Snapper Carr finished.


Who is saying this?
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Great chapters, wonderful handling of the Atlantis Civil War, Aquaman story line.

Long term Xander may have problems with the more lily white members of the league, his little "questioning" scene with Deadshot raised some eyebrows in story and probably some red flags in Bats and Sups mind. Probably less in GL and WW and I don't know about MM.

Great story so far!
Comments from author:
Wait till i show his reaction to the Joker
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from CageFire
Review:
Great new chapter. Keep up the good work. :)
Review By [CageFire] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from Omegaprime
Review:
Nice job with the Aquaman episodes of the show.

I loved how Xander shocked Aquaman and GL with a side to him that he probably never revealed to them, i.e. Halloween.

He also showed that he sometimes deals with things his own way and some of the Justice League might not agree with that.

I loved Superman's reaction to Xander's suggestion of what to do with Lex. But if he causes Batman to crack up then things might get a little weird for everyone.

Hmmm, I wonder if Booster Gold has any interesting stories from his timeline?

Keep up the good work.
Review By [Omegaprime] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from Rob
Review:
Well done overall. Not a big Aquaman fan, but you did a good job with this part.
Review By [Rob] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from JonnyNapalm
Review:
Really enjoying the re-writes of the Justice League series with Xander as Thor tagged in. You're doing a good job of using the initial material and incorporating some slight alterations to the theme. Looking forward to your next entries. Good work.
Review By [JonnyNapalm] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Underwater adventure...part 2" from DarthPayne
Review:
It is very nice to see more of this fic. :)
Review By [DarthPayne] • Date [14 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "In Brightest day...part 2" from Dragonelf
Review:
“Ah ease up Di, I can handle t…” she unfortunately she gave it a squeeze as she spoke.
*ZAAATT!*
“CRAAAAPPP!!!” Xander yelled as the beam launched him through the doors.

---

Hehe, For some reason this part of the story made me giggle like the proverbial loon. :D

I hope we will see more chapters added to this story soon.

::Gives the plot bunny a slice of Shepard's Pie::

# = # = # = # = # = # = # = # = #
Words are only painted fire;
a book is the fire itself.
- Mark Twain
# = # = # = # = # = # = # = # = #

EDIT: When you wrote the scene where Xander accidentally got shot through the door with the weapon I was for some reason reminded about the scene in Robin Hood (The Disney version) where the vulture who is holding a crossbow tells the Sheriff that "The safety's on "Old Betsy""

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Robin_Hood
Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [2 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "In Brightest day...part 2" from unclerand
Review:
I liked this story when you first started it, but what happened to the creativity that you had when you started it? What I mean is that when Xander gained his powers you altered the storyline when Fate and Xander took care of the Mayor, but you now just seem to be following the comics storyline almost to the letter with barely any changes. Personally, with the way Xander acts regarding the criminals on Earth, I think he would be a lot more outspoken when they arrived at the trial towards the judges and manhunters in regards to them coming to Earth and doing whatever they want in hunting down GL. If they have the right to do that, then shouldn't Xander have the right to take the judges and manhunters back to earth to face charges for the destruction they caused? Weren't any humans hurt during the battle with the manhunters? Are thay somehow exempt from prosecution?

Personally, I would rather have seen Xander respond to the tribunal that he was there to take them into custody for trial on earth for sending the manhunters after GL and all the destruction they caused. I wonder what you would have wrote as their response. Would they consider themselves above Earth law? How about a one shot scene showing how that would have played out?

Btw, my rating was for this chapter only a 2 in regards to the changes in the story, because so little was changed.

P.S.

Sorry about that, I accidently left out a line. I meant that Xander should have been GL's lawyer and use those arguments to defend GL to give the others time to investigate. Then you could still follow the episode plot.
Comments from author:
Then i suggest you stop reading now because while there will be original events in this fic, i will still adhere to storyline when i choose which episodes to use, they will be altered of course to adapt to his character but i can only stray so far from the base idea of the episode. This is how it was intended to be from the start for i never stated this was pure OC in any of my opening or closing comments, i while alter events yest but i must stay true to the work that inspired me.

That is my greatest challenge to find a way to take that which is old and give it a new twist.
Review By [unclerand] • Date [26 Jun 12] • Rating [2 out of 10]
Review of chapter "In Brightest day...part 2" from RoyalTwinFangs
Review:
Why don't you just write smaller chapters? Updates would be faster then. Also, how far along the next chapter of "Alexander Belmont" coming along?
Review By [RoyalTwinFangs] • Date [25 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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