Well... only a few tense errors, and you did warn us. Meanwhile, good job at outlining some of the alternate continuity elements. Jocye dying earlier, no mention of Dawn or Dracula (the episode before Dawn appeared), and Xander thankfully enrolled in college.
Comments from author:
Thank you.. I am glad you see the warning. I do admit I am very bad with grammar etc. Glad you you love the story too.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [16 May 11] • Not Rated
Although it needs a bit of editing, it is a great story line. I like the idea of Loki using Jack's sperm to impregnate Buffy. However, the question remains how will Buffy find Jack...perhaps her dreams? Or will Thor help with either by telling Jack what Loki did or having them meet? Please continue this fic!
I see your story is still not run past a beta. That doesn't make it a bad story - it is still engaging, but it could be soo much better! Almost every verb in this chapter is in the wrong tense :( But that will be the last time I mention it- promise! I hope we still get to see the whole story through to the end.
Comments from author:
Thanks.. I was not planning to post this story, so I didn't get beta. However. I am looking for someone. So If you have any ideas please let me know.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [12 May 11] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Hmmm, very interesting. I would will the scoobies think it's a demon baby and if so what will Buffy do? Anyways can't wait to see where you go with it. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
I agree with you... See the next chapter.
Review By [cloudleonsgurl] • Date [11 May 11] • Not Rated
Interesting story. I'm sure Buffy will continue to wish it was a dream for some time to come! I wonder how she will track down the Father? I did notice a large number of misplaced words and gramatical and tense errors. You might want to read through the next chapter an extra time or two to get rid of some of the errors. If English is not your first language you might want to run it past a beta who is more fluent.
Comments from author:
Thanks Gideon your review was very insightful. But as I stated at the beginning, this story is unbeta. I know there are lot of grammatical errors, but my decision to post it as is, depend on several issues. 1. Because I had receive several inquiries regarding this story. And 2. The Surrogate is another version of Second Chance. Same story different POV.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [11 May 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]