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Lonely Souls

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Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from grd
Review:
You and your dang cliffys.
Comments from author:
Hey, I don't do it that often, jsut all my stories seem to have them right now...

Thank you and thanks for reviewing
Review By [grd] • Date [9 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from DofEire
Review:
Aaaagh! Vid, you vicious beast! Evil purveyor of cliffhangers! I'm chewing my nails now! (Great chapter though, LOL!)
Comments from author:
Thank you, it seems Letomo was right, this was good place to stop. (There were five more pages sent out to beta...) Sorry it will take another week, stupid flu...

Thank you and thanks for reviewing
Review By [DofEire] • Date [8 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from etienneofthewestwind
Review:
Well, you're certainly not refuting my theory that Moloch uploaded a copy of Willow, or a piece of her, to the net... yet, anyway. I imagine I'll know for sure in an update or two. If I'm right, I'm assuming she thinks the team at the sealed room in CRD and the virus Willow and Dave unleashed are Moloch?

I don't like the suggestion of what may have happened to Xeno in Shaggy Dog.

I like Brian Kirby, and the revelations of the Chelia's history with Angelus was intriguing on many levels. so the Church and Watchers had something more against the Chelia than vampires at one point in time? Makes one wonder what's happening behine the scenes...

The London's trips shaping up to be eventful. Was that Luna in Buffy's dream?
Comments from author:
I deny nothing! THen again, Id o not admit to anything either... ;-) I don;t like ti either. Sometimes my muse is plain nasty.

I like Brian too. I never intended for the in-laws to get much screen time, I understand why they did that in canon, (it cuts in on the time of the main cast) The Cheila are demons who can appear like humans, but the reasons the council had will be revealed later...

Don't tell anybody... checks... Yes, that was Luna. ;-)
Thanks for reviewing
Review By [etienneofthewestwind] • Date [8 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from Meneldur
Review:
Oh, amazing chapter. Can't wait to see what happens.
So, we learn who is Voldemort's Secundus, and who attacked Xenophilius. Somehow, I suspect this will tie in pretty quickly with Simon and his mission over to England, and I can't wait to see it.
So, the Cheila have a feud with Angelus. Interesting, but I don't see it as very important yet. It may cause a few complications, though.
So, it seems a few binding were lifted. Well, I'm sure the added firepower will be useful, once it's properly taught and trained.
So, that's the thesis. Of course Simon could help. And even more tie-ins with HP. I really can't wait.
I liked all the little background details and happenings as well.
Willow and Dave - that was hilarious. So, they've found Lebannen. Can't wait to see who it really is, and what they did to him/her?
Okay, that's odd. Has Willow's attack on Lebannen caused whatever just happened? Who does Joyce think this is? Why is this... thing calling itself Willow and asking for help from Joyce? What's going on here? I really can't wait to find out. Update now!
Comments from author:
Thank you, I fear you will have to wait another week. Illness. Urgh. The tie in proper will start pretty soon, yes.

The Cheila have a great desire to dust Angel/Angelus. Only his reformation as the ensouled Vampire has allowed him to live. Yes, that should make for some interesting additions. The older generations will have their hands full teaching for a while.

Sorry again, the illness excuse once more...

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [Meneldur] • Date [8 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from (Recent Donor)SamuraiCatFan
Review:
Mmmm, very interesting ending. Based on this and prior chapters, it sounds like Moloch the Corrupter is "not dead yet", and he would certainly have the ability to mimic Willow in order to try to get help to be free. Moloch would certainly have been able to get enough information and insight to be able to play on Joyce's fears, and the "enemies" at the door sure sounds like the attack on the sealed door at the lab. Of course, I could be completely wrong.

Another great chapter.
Comments from author:
Does anything on the itnernet ever truly die? ;-)

We shall see how right you are. Or how wrong...

Thank you and thanks for reviewing
Review By [(Recent Donor)SamuraiCatFan] • Date [8 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from kalahari
Review:
Your story is still good, but it becomes unwieldy.
You may have taken in to may people from different universes at once.
If you ever complete you main story arc, you may have to sit back, and decide how to split your one big story into several smaller ones, or which side story you safely can cut of, and still keep the primary story arc intact.

A similar problem has been creeping into published books. There are to many novels of 800 to 1000 pages, where it would be much better to have several books of 300 to 400 pages. Note that just splitting a book into two halves does not help; each book needs its own story arc.


On the story details:
Making a stopover in New York on the way from the West coast of the US to London is a recurring theme in fanfiction, but it really is a roundabout way, like going from LA to New York with a stopover in Texas.
There is at least one daily Boeing 747 from each of LAX and SFA to London Heathrow, and it has been for at least 25 years; with the exception of September 2001.
Using a private plane to cross the Atlantic ocean is a recurring theme in fanfiction, too; but again that is usually not a good idea to get to London, fast.
Using an executive jet can help to reduce your travel time if you are flying from X to Y inside of North America, because you can go the direct route, and do not have to switch planes.
To cross the Atlantic ocean, you need a long range executive jet. To be allowed to fly the short routes, you need a four engine jet. There are executive jets with these features, but most of them are luxury versions of commercial airliners. They are to large for the Sunnydale airport. So Simon needs to use LAX or another large airport anyway. Getting a slot on a busy airport will be a problem, too. LAX, SFA and the New York and London airports are often fully booked.
On the other side first class passenger service is where the money is for commercial airlines. They always have first class seats available. They might delay a flight, especially for a frequent first class customer who is willing to pay for that delay.

So using an executive jet would make sense if Simon is flying inside North America, or if he is flying inside of Europe. He still might be better off going commercial, if he wants to go from one major hub to another like LAX to New York or London to Frankfurt. Using an executive jet to cross a major ocean Simon would look like a peacock, trying to impress with his overly full self importance.
Comments from author:
I agree on the unwieldy. It grew and grew, and I fear will continue growing as the development of the characters and the relationships between them takes up a lot of space. I don't know if I'll ever do such a massive edit. It may be years before this is wholly finished and there are otehr stories, ideas, not to mention my original work to consider. The Novel, and its sequels, should be about 400-450 pages, so that's good, but those are closed, none-developing tales if you get my drift.

I know a stopover between LA and London is unnecesary, but they intend to celebrate Christmas in NY (so stay a couple of days) and then fly to London later. The private jet for that is for other reasons. I may use the just buying first class tickets to London thing though, (it might even make a very nice interlude...hmmm.) it would still be cheaper than fueling up the private intercontinental jet. Simon does tend to use that only for the worst of emergencies.

Thanks for the thought out review, Vid
Review By [kalahari] • Date [8 Jan 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from DesitaniaF
Review:
Evil Cliffy... bad vid, very very bad. no cookie for you
Comments from author:
Yes, I agree. In my defence, Letomo had to convice me... I shall nibble on a rice wafer instead, probably better for me after the flu anyway. ;-)

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [DesitaniaF] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from Shadowman
Review:
I have no liking for this version of Lockhart at all the sooner he dies the better for all I would say.
Don’t know if this computer version of Willow is real or a trick by Moloch either way cliffhangers are not nice. Interesting yes but not nice.
Looks like you are starting converge all of your side stories now as well.
Comments from author:
I think we can all agree that this Lockhart is evil, yes. I agree, and I fear that the suspense will only increase, as there will be no update this saturday...damn flu. (And plot bunnies. I admit to those as well) It must be the Gathering... ;-)

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [Shadowman] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from AllenPitt
Review:
I agree that the Buffy/Angel romance can't last...not so sure that Mike is the one she'll turn to after that. Kind of taking her for granted a bit... but whatever. Poor Angel, nobody likes him. With his luck, Holtz will show up a few years early, heh.
It's weird seeing such a huge cast of characters around Buffy, much healthier than the 'isolated' Buffy of the show. And darn, Nieman Marcus card she can't use. Is there no end to the Master's villainy?
The trip to Europe sounds like it could be fun, and crossover-y. Can the Slayer really leave Sunnydale like that? Well, I suppose the council wouldn't agree to it, but won't be consulted. Sure hope someone is there to meet Kendra. Ah, she'll be looking for Giles anyway. Will give him something to do...
Comments from author:
Well considering the competition... Owen, Ford, Scott, Angel, Parker, Riley, Spike... It's not actually that Simon dislikes Simon. He just does not think he makes a good permanent boyfreind for the girl he sees as his eldest daughter.

No, the Master is pretty much that evil, all the time. Next he'll send her one on Christmas day, good until the 24th...

The trip to Europe will be the official start of the true crossover with Harry Potter, we'll see what happens then...

Kendra? We'll see...

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from war
Review:
Mike seems a little obsessive considering he's only talked to Buffy what 2 or 3 times?

Seems like their Christmas vacation won't be boring.

So Lockhart is back in the picture with plan to attack Xeno. Hope he gets some warning before the attack otherwise he's in a world of hurt.

Poor comp Willow stuck in a machine, being attacked and cut off from what she considers her family.

Good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
Yes, he does, doesn't he? But the problem is, she's now one of three teenage girls he has met: Willow, Evy and Buffy. And for reasons I'll go into later, he has an instant attraction to Buffy. (He also reacted to Prue, Piper and Phobe, but they are older than he by too much for him to have any hopes...)

I don't think any day is boring in that household... Willectronic is not very happy, no.

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [war] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from Senko
Review:
So we approach convergence, sadly based on Buffy's dreams I suspect Xenophilius is in fact dead and not just badly injured, a real shame that. So is Willow Willow or someone else and if he is at the door and sending virus does that mean Liebmann is Willow? Nice to see the two boys getting a life lesson from their dead I mean really even if it was Moloch I agree with him about that being romantic. Then again what teenage boy DOES understand how a girl feels.

Well I think that's all for now except to say opening with Lockheart made me wonder if I'd opened the right story and I hope he gets his other head handed to him soon.
Comments from author:
Xeno's fate will be explained in chapter 14 of Shaggy Dog. As I said in previous reviews, I fully intended to update LS today, but I was ill most of the week. Hence no LS today. Chapter 67 will be written with a good deal more peace of mind than 66 however. Will any man ever understand the female mind? (And vice versa?)

Lockhart has appeared in other stories in the series, he's just one of those villains that turn up like a bad apple... Frank, if he ever finds out that Faith was tortured by Lockhart, will no doubt want a word too...

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [Senko] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from Eureka
Review:
So is that Moloch in the computer, or did he manage to get a part of Wills stuck in there? If it IS Moloch, is he really that stupid to think he can get out? I mean wouldn't Simon or one of the others stop him? Joyce is smarter than to just try and go off by herself and get this out of the computer since she already knows that Wills is in PE.
Can we kill off Lockhart? PLEASE???? He is such an a&&hat! It would also throw a huge wrinkle in snakebreath's plans too!
Comments from author:
Ah, well I was hoping to be able to say read today's update, but illness has so dealyed it I think I'll send it up next saturday. THat will allow me greater leeway with chapter 67... I do apologize.

Lockhart, the man people love to hate. I must admit promoting him to recurring villain seems to have had an electrifying effect on my readership...

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [Eureka] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from EllandrahSylver
Review:
Okay, there's LOTS happening in this chapter, and yet, when I got to the end and saw you put THIS in: "Oh dear, it’s a cliffhanger…." my brain immediately started singing...

"Cliff Hanger, hanging off a cliff! Da da-da da-da, something something something... And that's why he's called CLIFF HANGER!" (It's a silly little song from a kids show called Between the Lions. A public television program that endeavors to help children to learn the rules of English grammar and improve their reading skills...) Obviously I don't know the whole song, nor would I post it in a review if I did, but I think I got the point across...

It just gave me a moment of pure silly... *grins*

The chapter is, as always, excellent. I'm glad Dave and Willow's misunderstanding got cleared up. Dave's got an interesting dad. I like him. He's very... grounded. They are definitely unique demons. *smirks*

And also, uh-oh... Willow in the machine... I'm a bit torn about this. She's a computer program. On the one hand, I wonder how they're going to rescue her... on the other, I don't know if I think they should. Obviously some kind of magic was used to duplicate Willow's mind in cyberspace, but does that mean that when it was done a part of her soul was stolen too, or just her memories and personality? And for that matter, even if they do get her out of Calax's computers, where are they going to put her after that? Are they going to....

*stares, startled* I'll finish this privately. I don't want to ask any questions here that might lead to spoilers.

Made me think, you did. *grins*
Comments from author:
Between the Lions? Err...right. Silliness can be good, that I agree on. I like Dave's dad too. It's weird how characters grow, initially I was not intending to add too much in-law stuff. (We never see much of them in the series either). As for your questions, even you will have to wait and see until you red the next chapter. ;-)

Where are they going to put her? yes... Making people think is my job. ;-)

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [EllandrahSylver] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from Wormbait
Review:
Doh, got scratches all down my leg now after my yell of denial at discovering the cliffhanger scared the cat that was sleeping quite content in my lap.

Wow, lot's happening.

Wondering if Buffy's vision was of Lockhart and if so I hope they get there in time to smack him around, a lot. And if it is him would that make the girl Luna or Hermione (sinse it happens in muggle London I'm leaning towards the latter). Of course it could be none of the above, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

So it is Willow in the computer, or at least a part of her. I had been thinking it may be one or both of the souls of her sisters somehow but I guess not.

Well done and thanks for sharing, I look forward to more and I'll be sure the cat is elsewhere when I read the next chapter, just incase :)
Comments from author:
I feel for you. And your cat. Well at least it is a vision that will allow them hopefully to intervene. As for Willowtronic, I fear you will have to wait, maybe as much as another week. (It would allow me to work on 67 with greater peace of mind.)

Thank you, my regards to the poor kitty and thanks for reviewing
Review By [Wormbait] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Playing with Bindings and herding worms" from trongod
Review:
Please set up that pedophile piece of garbage for a painfully fatal accident during his Muggle training period! It wouldn't hurt the story /that/ much really! I asked the Muses and even /they/ loath having to deal with it, so it'd be a Good Thing all around, I promise!!

Looks like Moloch is playing its old tricks, this time on Joyce.... Hoping that she runs to Simon about this before she goes and does something Buffy-ish...
Comments from author:
I fear Mr. Lockhart is too clever for that... He will no doubt, get what he deserves. (However, if we look at real life pieces of scum and where they end up, that might just be forty acres on the Pallisades and a do not go to jail card...)

Is it Moloch? Or is it something else...

Thanks for reviewing
Review By [trongod] • Date [7 Jan 12] • Not Rated
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