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Review of chapter "Episode 5: Return of the Jolinar" from oldgirllost
Review:
I don't know if I've reviewed the rest of the story at all, but I've been very busy with classes, but I can certainly take a few minutes to write that this is shaping up to be one of the better written stories about a BTVS character and a Tokra.
You're doing good things with Angel/Xander sparring, and Xander keeping all the nitty gritty from the rest of the gang, and your spelling and grammar are excellent (I know that seems petty-- but sometimes I get so irritated with spelling and grammar that I stop reading so you're definitely not in danger of that!) I like how the relationship with Jolinar is shapping up and I like seeing Teal'c getting out of Stargate Base as well, (Will there be time for him to see the Grand Canyon and Disneyland on the way back? -- The rental car thing was nice of Hammond).

Just generally good. (Now back to the regularly scheduled homework!)
Comments from author:
Wonderful review. I love getting this kind of feedback.

He's trying. It's not going to work now. SG-1 throws the proverbial monkey wrench into his first plans.

On spelling: I feel the same way. You can only read how "Their going to they're doohicky" so many times before you get a headache and give up reading. Please point out any mistakes you do find though. I'm still only human.

I hadn't thought of Disney Land, but certainly the Grand Canyon is on the menu.

Thank you for your review.
Review By [oldgirllost] • Date [17 Sep 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Episode 5: Return of the Jolinar" from Kalliza
Review:
I think I misses where Jolinar talked to SG1. But I'm looking forward to seeing Jolinar's personality fleshed out. Especially considering its history in "hell".
Comments from author:
Yeah, I skipped the actual conversation. We get to see the results more than the conversation this time.
Review By [Kalliza] • Date [17 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from (Past Donor)zima
Review:
Liked the Angel / Xander fight club thing and I am guessing that the snake is helping him heal faster.
Fun chapter but I am looking forward to the meet and great with Xander and Sg1
Comments from author:
Ok, I re-ordered the chapter to make it more clear that Xander and SG-1 just met. Sorry about the confusion.
Review By [(Past Donor)zima] • Date [17 Sep 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from PhilH
Review:
This was good for the most part, but I'm a bit confused. Did Xander meet with them and then get away from them right away? Was he the boy who called them Sir? If the scene of them meeting was in there I missed it.

Phil
Comments from author:
Ok, I re-ordered the chapter to make it more clear that Xander and SG-1 just met. Sorry about the confusion.
Review By [PhilH] • Date [17 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from LostDragon
Review:
I like the set up for the meat of the story, however when does the To'Kra start talking to Xander????? Looking forward to more chapters.
Comments from author:
Soon.
Review By [LostDragon] • Date [17 Sep 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from burn
Review:
Keep it coming! I will admit that I wish you didn't mesh the 'verses but it's no biggie. Thanks.

Response: Duh, it's a fricken' crossover, Sherlock. I meant that you had BTVS and Stargate occupy the same planet. You could have used an alternate universe or had Xander stuck as the lone Tok'ra in the BVTS verse.
Comments from author:
Well, it is crossover fiction. If you're looking for stories that don't cross universes, I guess I would look on another site.

www.fanfiction.net has a large selection of non-crossover stories.

Hope you keep reading though.

Response to the Response: Ahh. That was mostly dictated by the Challenge. AU might have been difficult but possible, but lone Tok'ra would have violated the rules.
Review By [burn] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from VillageOrchid
Review:
That was fun and exciting with just enough of a cliffhanger to want more, but not so much that I'm going "Aaarg!" before talk like a pirate day.
Comments from author:
Stay tuned for our next episode. Episode 5: Return of the Jolinar.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Irda
Review:
Great story so far, very promising. I love Teal'c's observations, and I am really looking forward to Xander's reactions to Sam's more 'personal' memories, let alone Sam's response when she finds out.
Comments from author:
I think Sam's response to knowing that some one else had those memories, let alone a 17 year old boy... priceless.
Review By [Irda] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from michaelangelo
Review:
Peanuts? PEANUTS! I never got peanuts! I got a faffing little bag of pretzels it was like eating sawdust, all the way from Chicago to Boise, pretzels *cries* it was game over man, Game Over!. I'd have gnawed my leg off to have peanuts, I was thirsty as hell and they gave us juice or water in tiny sealed bowls.

The only other time I took a flight back in the 70's I was 9, we got sweets, fruit and a flimsy etch a sketch. This time I received a tiny bag with personal hygiene stuff, a blindfold which was useless because I'm terrified of flying and kept looking for something on the wing, some THING on the wing, oh and pretzels.

Oh yeah and the story was great. Well done :).
Comments from author:
Probably depends on which airline you fly and when. The last time I flew was before 9/11 and I got peanuts and a can of soda.
Review By [michaelangelo] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from (Recent Donor)drdeth
Review:
Very good story so far, I look forward to the meeting between the Scoobies and SG1.
Comments from author:
Should be interesting. Also, thank you for Recommending my story. That means a lot to me.
Review By [(Recent Donor)drdeth] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Genuka
Review:
Ack! too Short!!!!! Moremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments from author:
It's only been 2 days. You'll have to be a bit more patient.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from borgrabbit
Review:
Great story!! May your Muse smile.

Haiku hiccup:

Poor child of great strife
Lives his complicated life
Stormy horizon
Comments from author:
Thank you for that beautiful Haiku.

Actually, Now that I read it again. I'd like to use it later if you don't mind. I'm going to change the last line to "Event Horizon" though. I think it fits better. Let me know if that's ok.
Review By [borgrabbit] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from CanuckDownUnder
Review:
Great story so far! Is Jolinar still there? Can't wait to find out, please update soon!
Comments from author:
You'll see very soon.
Review By [CanuckDownUnder] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Selias
Review:
Seems like this will be a pretty good fic. Hope you update again soon.
Comments from author:
3 times in 2 days isn't enough for you. ;-)
Review By [Selias] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from ovid
Review:
Well, I don't know near enough to write up a hack segment. I was just thinking that there would be several scene changes focusing on Sam and Xander, and their reactions to their opponent's moves. And to simplify it, you could have Xander thinking simply while Carter/Jolinar are doing the hacking, and Sam is doing a running commentary to O'neill.

I like your solution to Xander's fighting memories. Reinforcement of the memories would be necessary. And tealc's response to the airport and the accompanying scenes was hilarious. On a side note, I don't think armored jaffa would even fit into economy seats. Though the thought of them putting their staffs into overhead storage is humorous.
Comments from author:
LOL at the overhead compartment visualization.
Review By [ovid] • Date [16 Sep 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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