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Review of chapter "Chapter Nine - Hypocrite" from Emeraldfire
Review:
I hope you continue soon! And yes, Dawn's "keyness" should be explored.
Review By [Emeraldfire] • Date [2 Nov 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine - Hypocrite" from JennRosbury
Review:
Great story as for the keyness I guess I would suggest just seeing where your muse takes you on that path..I mean it could just come out or you might find a situation arise that requires it then again it might never come out. Just follow the flow and see where it leads you.
Review By [JennRosbury] • Date [1 Nov 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine - Hypocrite" from Keshkreature
Review:
I think eventually she should reveal her secret of being the key, but I don't see why she would let it out unless she was having an emotional crisis over jumping or if she got some sort of perk from her nature.

I can't wait to see if Rosealie comes around to liking Dawn later, and how they end up interacting, especially since they live together. I think it's amusing how Jacob found her and she ends up staying with the Cullens. I can't wait to see how he reacts to Dawn and Bella visiting the reserve.

(Just a little quirk, and you can totally ignore me): I really like your story, and I like seeing Edward and Bella be more like-able characters, but people take time to change, and it might be nice to see them evolve more due to Dawn's presence. When Dawn said she argued with Edward about him not appreciating Bella enough, it seems like even a normal teenager would speak out in her boyfriend's defence a little, just from how brainwashed in love she is, especially with her self-esteem issues. It'd be nice to see Dawn help bolster her confidence in herself. That's just my take on it, and if you're changing the characters more I'm certainly ok with that as your right as an author :) Thanks for writing!
Review By [Keshkreature] • Date [1 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine - Hypocrite" from NutsContract
Review:
I think when it comes to Dawn's Keyness, it should be a slow, unintentional reveal. First off, you could use the fact that Jacob and his pack are technically wolves (canines) and are supposed to be able to see Dawn for what she really is (along with the mentally insane and serpentine). But just because they see a glowing green ball, doesn't mean they know what it is. Or, since the pack are more "skinwalkers" than werewolves, you could have them not see diddly-squat.

But yeah, in general, Dawn should definitely hesitate to spill all her secrets.

UPDATE SOON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [1 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine - Hypocrite" from Blackett
Review:
Great update! She should only tell them if it becomes in any whey relevant.
Review By [Blackett] • Date [1 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine - Hypocrite" from Banditcat
Review:
Good story.

I don't think Dawn would or should reveal or explain about the Key unless She really had no choice.

Too many Wolves and Vampires prone to major overreaction to any threat for anyone to know the true power of the Key.

I see you made Dawn 17 instead of 14 or 15.

Watching out for the next update.
Review By [Banditcat] • Date [1 Nov 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight - Thoughts" from leelaa
Review:
Love the latest chapters. Hope this story just keeps getting better and better. Thanks so much for a great read. :)
Review By [leelaa] • Date [30 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight - Thoughts" from deathgeonous
Review:
It's still going ok, so thanks for writing this, bye for now.
Review By [deathgeonous] • Date [29 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight - Thoughts" from NutsContract
Review:
Aw so close to them meeting!! I'm glad that Dawn didn't tell them about her Keyness, its almost like you followed my advice!! I'm looking forward to and update and I'm so glad you've been updating so quickly. You must be very inspired. Keep up the good work!!
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [28 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five - Questions" from leelaa
Review:
Great to see another excellent chapter so soon. Kudos. Waiting to see what happens next. :)
Review By [leelaa] • Date [27 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five - Questions" from Blackett
Review:
Loving it. More soonish?
Review By [Blackett] • Date [27 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five - Questions" from Keshkreature
Review:
Well, I'm glad she's getting that out there, and I like your way of bringing it up. I'm really looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Review By [Keshkreature] • Date [27 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five - Questions" from deathgeonous
Review:
It's ok, too short and had a bad cliffy, but, ok. Well, thanks for writing this, bye for now.
Review By [deathgeonous] • Date [27 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five - Questions" from NutsContract
Review:
Aw you ended at the best part!! I find it kind of hard to believe that Dawn would just tell someone that she sorta-kinda thinks is a demon that she is the Key, but hopefully, she'll leave that out of the story. I'm assuming that Carlisle is going to adopt her, well because... where else is she going to go? Looking forward to your update!!
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [27 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four - Visions" from deathgeonous
Review:
This could be interesting. I think I'll need to read more to find out though. Oh well, thanks for writing this, bye for now.
Review By [deathgeonous] • Date [26 Oct 11] • Not Rated
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