giggle giggle hee hee i love it

fantastic

fantastic

A well written new addition to Naruto canon, with enough change to make it interesting.

I find your story kind of bland, with a dose of cringing added in due to the fact that the Title and your story repeatedly incorrectly spell Konoha as Konaha.

Sorry you dislike my tale, but I do thank you for your critique in spelling.

i love it...

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

Good story so far, I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it :)

great story can't wait to see how it ends i do hope you go beyond the wave mission though i would like to see peter in the chuinm exans. The tests would be very different with him there. i guessing without sasuke no Orochimaru, unless he his interested in spider's Kekkei genkai . it seems he would be interested in at least the ability sense danger in advance. i know you said peter has charka but unless i reading your story wrong some how it seems he does use it often or not very openly.because i would think peter would love the substitution jutsu.

yes that is true but Orochimaru only went after sasuke in the exams anyone esle he messed with was because they got in his way. he hurt naruto with extra seal because of the fight he put up.

Glad your enjoying it. In Naruto most ninja seem to find a style a fight with whether it uses a lot of chakra or not. Bloodline and clan ninja for example base their entire combat style on their bloodline or clan specialties. Kiba and his dog, Ino and her mind transfer, Shino and bugs, Choji and the body expansion. The jonnin mainly just had strengthen their basic ninja skills. With that in mind I'm trying to use that as a basis, also remember they've barely got anywhere yet. Saskue and Naruto were both very advanced for knowing the jutsu's that they did know. Remember how suprised Kakahsi was about Saskue knowing the fireball, and it was probabaly in a report written by Iruka or the Hokage that allowed him to be prepared for Naruto's shadow clones.

Also just because Saskue is not on team 7 doesn't mean he won't be at the exams if I get that far.

P.S.

Peter is a scientist, a smart-alec, and was raised as a Christian, so he might ridicule his Academy instructors that they have tangible proof of the Soul’s existence yet have dismissed what should have been the greatest philosophical revelation of all time.

Think about it: because chakra is partly spiritual in nature, someone’s bloodline limit might not activate if they were born with the “wrong kind of Soul" despite having the right genetics. Furthermore, this would mean that Orochimaru’s experiments include reshaping someone’s Soul and spiritual energies in order to produce the right chakra or bloodline limit.

Awesome. Will Sasuke see Peter as a rival?

I liked the subplot about the Yamanaka clan coveting Peter, as all the non-doujutsu clans are often portrayed as unambitious and laidback in fanfiction. Since Peter wasn't adopted by the Aburame and is only sponsored by the kikai-wielders, Inoichi has some leway to do sneaky and underhanded things to get ahold of Peter.

For dialogue, try including a few pop-culture references in Peter's jokes and nonsequitors.

Don't forget that Peter is very gifted at science, especially biochemistry, so the Academy might encourage him to be a poisoner or medic-nin.

Other possibilities:

1)=Peter’s spider-sense might be overwhelmed by focused killer intent and require special desensitivation training, a vulnerability that’d balance out his bloodline limit.

2)=In Japanese mythology, spiders are associated with Earth affinity.

3)=Peter being taught the art of chakra sensing early on could refine his spider-sense and might help him counteract the Sharingan’s ability to predict its opponents, making him useful as an anti-Uchiha defense.

4)=Learning how to infuse chakra into his webbing could let Peter sense vibrations like a real spider and maybe mimic the Scarlet Spider’s impact webbing where a small glob unfurls into a net upon impact.

5)=Aburame medic-nin examining Peter’s wrist spinnerrettes and his ability to channel chakra into them might be able to (A)build web-shooters or (B)create web-based techniques similar to Kidomaru, whose abilities are clan hijutsu and not a bloodline limit according to the official data books. From a bargaining point of view, Peter could let the Aburame adopt web-shooters or web-based techniques as clan hijutsu in exchange for a favor or other repayment at a later date.

6)=In Shippuden, Orochimaru's cursed seal is a catalytic enzyme derived fro Jugo. As a nod to canon Marvel comics,the VENOM symbiote could be born if Peter's immune system rejected the cursed seal and expelled it from his body as black glob of ooze. In my mind, the best person to become Venom would be SAKURA Haruno given her physical weakness, split-personality, obsession with Sasuke, and the fact that Sakura's high intelligence is rendered moot by her inability to apply her knowledge in a practical, real-life setting (atleast before Tsunade mentored Sakura and made her into a decent kunoichi).

wow that's a lot of thoughts and ideas maybe you should consider making your own spider-man/naruto fic. To answer your questions and ideas though.

1) I like it and might have to add some stuff to chapter 6 to work it in.

2) Elements won't happen until at least the Chunnin exam so I'll consider it. Although I was partial to lighting due to its connection to the scientist.

3) Not real sure how I could work that in I'm afraid.

4) I was thinking of waiting a while before he learns to combine his webs with Chakra maybe even have it happen during the time skip or as a result of some clan training. If I get that far.

5) Web shooters will be explained soon, I also plan on some other spider gear as well.

6) I have some comic cannon reference I'm working on in chapter 7. I don't understand all of the cursed mark stuff enough to try and manipulate it into a story like your suggesting though. Like I said I've only seen up to the vote battle. Also I'm going to make Sakura a slightly better ninja since she won't be contantly distracted by her crush.

7) Religion is going to be a tough one for me to play around with and I may go with the fact that he can't remember enough of it to use it. Cop out yes.

I also liked your reminder of his biochemistry knowledge. I think he would make a better poisoner than medic nin though. Because even in the comics most of his cures or weapons are used to stop a threat as opposed to healing. Web shooters that shoot web fluid with a poison abstract to it maybe.

I am looking forward to more of this story, for many reasons. 1. Quality of the writing. 2. Very few if anyone does much with the Abrurame Clan, because of this there is abundant potential to shape. 3. Spiderman is one of my favorite heroes.

I think I like reason number 1 best.

Yeah as far as Clans go the Uchiha, Namikaze, Senju and Nara clans ususally get the most screen time for some reason. Leaves a lot of untapped potential for writers that they rarely use.

Spiderman is cool hero to llike.

Hope I continue to get the appreciation.

This story is way to cool not to recommend it.

I would love to see where you go next with your story line.

Raf

Thanks, glad your enjoying it.

Part of it will follow the regular story line, but I do intend to add in a few extras.

The clans are nothing but a bunch of racists who abandon children to fend for themselves amd only take them in when they want something from them. They abandon children and then expect them to be grateful when they are offered a place that comes with a price. I hope Peter and Naruto raise hell in the Village.

His strength would be normal for most adult shinobi, at least in my opinion. Great start though.