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Zeppo Effect: Fight for the Lost

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Review of chapter "Dossier: Justicar(1)" from Raider
Review:
I'm getting such a kick outta this story..
Comments from author:
Thanks ... I'm having a blast working on it
Review By [Raider] • Date [9 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Omega (5)" from Perdurabo
Review:
You know, if there was one thing about Kasumi as a character that I really liked, it was that she was Japanese without being an annoying stereotype. She didn't drop gratuitous Japanese words into every single sentence when speaking English, or go on about anime or manga. In fact, she never spoke any Japanese at all. She was a thief, first and foremost, and a technical expert and her ethnicity was about as inconsequential to her identity as Shepard's is.

You have ruined that.

I cannot stand the way you write Kasumi. And considering the fact that pretty much everybody is wearing real-time translators at all times, it doesn't even make sense. Those Japanese words would just be translated into English for the hearer. Just like that chick in ME1 who was clearly speaking Japanese even though we heard her in English.

I also question Xander's credentials as an "otaku" considering he never once mentioned any anime or manga in the entire run of Buffy, but that's more of a nitpick since he could have gotten really into it after he was immortal or something.
Comments from author:
I could make the cut content argument since numerous vids are online showing that Kasumi went through a few character changes before BW settled on the version we know including a version not unlike how I wrote her. Of course if you are as big a fan as you seem you've already SEEN those vids and take umbrage at my inclusion of content that's not strictly canonized

I shudder to think how you'll react to the left of canon ending I'm planning

I suspect one reason for the changes was the.same as my own, it seemed like a good idea to have her speak japanese but the logistics of doing it through a whole story were daunting to say the least. and I eventually pulled it back a notch

I take full responsbility for how Kas came across on page, she's a bit of a cypher so I wasn't really sure how she'd fit in to the team dynamic. Originally Xander and Kasumi were going to be a couple but I thought a Jack pairing would be more of a challenge

that having been said I think you'll like my take on Stolen Memory so if you can stomach it you might hang around for that

either way thanks for reading
Review By [Perdurabo] • Date [9 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Dossier: Justicar(1)" from EroSlackerMicha
Review:
JustiMILF....I like that.
wonder how many will be standing after the mother daughter reunion.
keep up the good work
Review By [EroSlackerMicha] • Date [8 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Dossier: Justicar(1)" from IUseAFakeName
Review:
First, I just wanted to say that I love this story. Thank you for not only writing this, but also for updating on a regular basis.

I do have to say though that I have some serious reservations about the Xander/Jack pairing. Jack's character (in both your story and ME canon) reminds me a lot of a pre-Wilkins Faith. She isn't bad per se, but life hasn't been kind, so she's emotionally unstable and tends to expect the world in a certain way, coloured by her own experiences.

My guess is that people who would ship Xander/Jack think that Xander would be a stabilizing influence on her. In some ways, I can see how that would make sense; Xander's insightfulness and caring nature could be a real boon to Jack, not to mention the emotional maturity that he'd inevitably have gained over the centuries. This, however, is where I start to run into problems with the potential romance.

As I see it, the character of Xander that you portray is incredibly nuanced. The insightfulness and caring that Xander displayed during the Sunnydale years is still there, and if his characterization stopped there, I'd be less wary of the romance. However, the Xander in your story is infinitely more complex, and more importantly, is only starting to get over Dawn's death on an emotional level. In addition, I'd imagine the situation with Ashley hasn't exactly helped in Xander's own emotional stability in regards to relationships. His years of watching people around him die, as well as his experiences on Akuze have also contributed to what seems to me to be an understandable fear of abandonment. Couple this with Jack's emotional issues and tendency to lash out and you have a recipe for disaster.

Personally, I'd much prefer a Xander/Miranda pairing. She's strong enough emotionally that she and Xander would ground and stabilize each other, and damaged enough to still provide spice and drama for the story.

Anyway, that's my two cents. No matter what direction the romance in the story goes, you're pretty much guaranteed a reader until the end. Keep up the good work!

EDIT: Actually, that video kinda reinforces my point. Chronologically, by the time the Citadel DLC rolls around, Jack is a very different person. Most importantly, Citadel!Jack is post-ME2 loyalty mission where she's come to terms with her past. and post-Grissom Academy, where's she's found some purpose and stability in her life and isn't lashing out at the world around her.

In your story, it hasn't been all that long since she was broken out of prison, and the scars from the Cerberus experiments are still relatively fresh. There's a world of difference (at least for now) between Zeppo Effect!Jack and Citadel!Jack. Unless she goes through some drastic, quick, and frankly unbelievable character growth (and honestly, I think that you're too good a writer to shoehorn unrealistically paced character growth for the sake of a romance), I'm still not sold on the Xander/Jack pairing, at least not at this point of the story.
Comments from author:
This is the scene that sold me on Jack and Xander

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gLlLOyMw_k&;feature=youtube_gdata_player

I challenge you not to tear up a little during the tattoo scene

EDIT: Thank you for the compliments

CitadelDLC Jack is the endgame but right this second im focused on getting our happy couple to the tearful pargon romance of ME2

Jack and Xander have a long way to go before Xander gets his tattoo not the least of which is one hell of a war which Xander will be on the front lines of
I however would not count the Lawson sisters out of the mix just yet.

Xander had a rather profound effect on Miranda's life and destiny and that's not something Henry Lawson is going to sit still for.

If nine years of Buffy has taught us anything at all it is that big bads are at their worst when they honestly think they are in the right
Review By [IUseAFakeName] • Date [8 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Dossier: Justicar(1)" from Blackguard
Review:
Ahh man, I love the Xander/Garrus bantering. We need more of that.

Great chapter, can't wait for the next. The confrontation between Samara and Morinth should be interesting to see.
Review By [Blackguard] • Date [8 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Dossier: Justicar(1)" from Omegaprime
Review:
Wow, this chapter is full of crazy fun.

Jack telling Simone off, the car talk of Xander's love life, Trevor and the possible reason for his wife to divorce him to the max, the meeting with the JistiMILF... I mean Justicar and her reaction to who the AY was.

Can't wait to see the rescue, the meeting with the Volus "God" and the mother meeting her daughter for the first time in years.

It's going to be crazy.

Keep up the good work.
Review By [Omegaprime] • Date [8 Sep 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Dossier: Justicar(1)" from kyro
Review:
JustiMILF that's fucking hilarious
Comments from author:
Can't take all the credit for that you should check out this story

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8042302/1/

This guy gets how a Jack romance is supposed to work I am unashamed to admit I was inspired by this take and used some of the ideas as a base for Xander's attempts at finding love with the psychotic biotic
Review By [kyro] • Date [8 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Interlude: Better Than the Last One" from Omegaprime
Review:
Ooooohhhh, Lorne is on the list of the BtVS crew that is still alive.

And I'm sure that what he said to Ashley will hit her later... like a ton of... metal?

Keep up the interesting work.
Review By [Omegaprime] • Date [30 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Interlude: Better Than the Last One" from TheForgotten
Review:
Oops, seems like I forgot to review a couple of the previous chapters.
Loved every one of them, keep up the great work.
Review By [TheForgotten] • Date [24 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Interlude: Better Than the Last One" from Blackguard
Review:
Okay, absolutely LOVED Lorne making an appearance in this chapter. So can't wait for more.
Review By [Blackguard] • Date [24 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Interlude: And Now for Something More Sinister..." from EroSlackerMicha
Review:
I just finished re-reading this and realized it was double the length of the first story and its not done! makes me wonder about ZE3 when it comes to be.
I still wonder why you had to bring Kennedy back with the insane farm girl there as well. I shudder at what WR&H are going to figure in and I wonder if the God King is going to figure into the final battle.
my minds going a million different directions so keep up the good work and remember there's your BL/BTVS world to play in too.
Comments from author:
I decided to go into a lot of details I didn't cover the first time, and frankly wish I had
it's worked out for the best since I've been able to do a ton of stuff that would have been impossible otherwise

As for Black Lagoon, the return of Greenback Jane has the bunnies nibbling I've got a bit of an outline but im curious to see where Hiroe goes with the main storyline.
Review By [EroSlackerMicha] • Date [6 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Interlude: And Now for Something More Sinister..." from Stormrider
Review:
Wow the excitement is really heating up in this story. Things are getting wild. New members are joining the crew in Sophie and Willow, (I love to see how they do their part for the crew) Morinith is cured of her 'hunger' by Xander and is becoming an adrenaline junkie love to see her reaction when they meet Samara (with the way things are going it's going to be soon) I see there's a bit of a rivalries in the Normandy with Willow and Liara and Jack and Miranda and in Jack and Miranda's case seems Xander's going to be in the middle since they're both attracted to him and with the last statement that Cordelia said she's going to put her 100 dollars in (As far as Cordy's concerned she won't put in something as cheap as 2 cents)

As in this chapter I was surprised that the clone was Kennedy. If Cerberus has Kennedy or rather a clone, who's the girl at the base that Jack wanted to go to? I have an idea who it is, but I won't reveal who it is, to quote River Song: Spoilers.

Can I say that I don't like Kai Lang? what he's doing to 'train' Kennedy it just added another reason why I can't when Team Shepard meets up with him. Not to mention that in one of the ME novels (the one that a lot of ME fans didn't like) Kai Lang killed one of my favorite characters. The way he did it was original but he still killed that character.

I can't wait to see what happens next. Keep it up
Comments from author:
I wrote this chapter in part because you and I... we know what a bastard Kai Lang is but many Buffy fans aren't on that page with us

plus Kai Lang killed a character im rather fond of , one who made a huge impact on Xander mission so im looking forward to our favorite Scooby rewriting that bit of canon
Review By [Stormrider] • Date [5 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Interlude: And Now for Something More Sinister..." from Omegaprime
Review:
Well, this has gone really nasty.

I also thought that Kennedy soul + Faith's body = Darth X, W, S and B but now that I have seen the picture that you have supplied the previous reviewer I theorize that when they fight her and she tells them who she is and what had happened to her... the Reapers will probably avoid the galaxy for a thousand years when they sense their rage and legends will be told of what they did to Timmy and his cohorts. But the stories will be tamer than what they actually did to them.

But that's just me. >:)

Keep up the good work.
Review By [Omegaprime] • Date [4 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Interlude: And Now for Something More Sinister..." from MistofRainbows
Review:
Tries to find the words without sounding like an ass...

I would have expected a combat trained slayer to do better against a human even in armor... maybe it's just a failure on my part to believe that you can enhance a human with the tech from the mass effect world) to not get pulped when hit... even with armored arms you're taking damage... I'm not saying that I think Slayers have an auto win... anyways. It could just be my lack of understanding with the world... I've seen the game played and looked at the wiki but maybe I missed a whole ton of shit... and just missed them being able to enhance people like that...

I think this is where I use the back button. Got a bit too screwed up for my taste which is sad as I had been enjoying it.
Comments from author:
Kai Leng has mastered the art of plot-fu

This ancient combat technique allowed Buffy and Faith to defeat enemies who should by any resonable measure be better , it kept Harmony, Spike and Angel alive despite numerous runins with Slayers and other fighters who were clearly stronger and better

I needed Team Scooby invested in the final battle and lets be honest, nothing get our heroes motivated like one of their own being threatened.

I hope you stick it out cause when Xander and Team Shepard catches up with KL IT'S going to be epic
Review By [MistofRainbows] • Date [4 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Interlude: And Now for Something More Sinister..." from kyro
Review:
Timmy and Kai Leng have no idea the shit storm that's coming their way please tell me we are going see the pitch black side of Xander that gives people the shivers when he finds out not to mention Darth Willow plus Buffy going ape shit on timmy's little project so Kenndy is inside Faith body and i take Cordy due to show up soon can't wait to see the Scoobies react to timmy's plan and descended Cordy
Comments from author:
technically Kennedy is inside the cloned body Cerberus created of Shepard. I could tell you it looks like Kennedy but to be honest, by the time TIMMY and Kai Leng are done with her she's going to look a lot more like this

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120325214912/masseffect/images/thumb/4/4d/ME3_Cerberus_Phantom.png/479px-ME3_Cerberus_Phantom.png
Review By [kyro] • Date [4 Aug 13] • Not Rated
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