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A Dragon's Tale

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Review of chapter "Chapter 3 Dancing in the sky" from Eureka
Review:
Perfect. All together for one dream to see that Dawn and Xander are OK. Xander doing cartwheels and such is funny too.
Review By [Eureka] • Date [26 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2 Have Cloud will Travel" from EmmyN
Review:
I really like this and hope that you write more.
Review By [EmmyN] • Date [26 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2 Have Cloud will Travel" from finsdale
Review:
very enjoyable, my fellow Bronie =). the AU of xander being a silver dragon fits extremely well with the MLP ponyverse, it would be great to have a bit of flash back for the dragons eye view of canon events prior to the portal ride. another fun line about not being an Alicorn would be "I ain't no Sir, I Work for a living". here's hoping Princess Luna doesn't fall for the xander charm, she does compare to Anya in her history =)
Review By [finsdale] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2 Have Cloud will Travel" from cyberfish
Review:
I like this it`s cute and fun. I read you remarks about watching MLP movies.if it helps I`m 56 (at the end of Feb) and I watch kid flicks when ever I get sad or depress .The always make me laugh and feel better. If these films do the same enjoy them and ignor anyone who puts you down or tease you
Review By [cyberfish] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2 Have Cloud will Travel" from Hanzo
Review:
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
Review By [Hanzo] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2 Have Cloud will Travel" from Eureka
Review:
OK So if Xander's Cutie mark is a snowflake, what will Dawn's be?
Review By [Eureka] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2 Have Cloud will Travel" from mackenziex
Review:
Okay, now this is cute. :)
Review By [mackenziex] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One Pretty Pony Princess" from Gideon
Review:
I think Dawn will make a great little pony princess :)
I did mark you down for the frequent misspellings though. One example - a pony has a mane, not a main.
Keep it up though, you certainly have an original idea!
Review By [Gideon] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One Pretty Pony Princess" from superbrutal
Review:
While i've never watched the MLP show myself, i have enjoyed the few crossovers's I've seen with it.

And what you've started looks very interesting, looking forward to reading more.
Review By [superbrutal] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One Pretty Pony Princess" from Eureka
Review:
Hope you continue this. It is a pretty good concept.
Review By [Eureka] • Date [24 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One Pretty Pony Princess" from (Current Donor)DeacBlue
Review:
Not a badly written bit. It definitely kept your reader's attention. That being said -

Commas are your friends, they serve, among other things, to break up sentences into smaller units, and tell you where to pause and take a breath when you read. There are books devoted to telling you the best places to use them.

There is a spell checker supplied for you here. At the very least, use it. If you have the chance, use others, as no spell checker catches everything. In this case, whatever actions you took missed at least "scaberous."

After you run the spell checker, re-read it yourself. The spell checker would not catch the misspelled word in, "When my blood passed through the rift it will close," for instance (the author meant 'passes,' rather than 'passed,' for those playing at home). These things take a few minutes at most, and make your work look a lot better, as they will catch most (not all) mistakes. The difference can be the difference between a readable fic and one that readers click away from.

There are more effective ways of emphasizing text than capitalization on this site. < b > and < i >, even < u > (kill the spaces, and end your markup with a /) are all available for you to use, and catch the eye far more easily. Separately, when you're trying to describe an odd way of speaking, describe it, rather than just alternately upper- and lower-casing the speech. Even putting :: or -- around the text is a better choice. :text: -text- The idea is to make things easy for your reader to read and understand, not to put him to work deciphering your odd capitalization schemes. You want them hard at work deciphering your plot schemes.

Now, some "factual" issues:

Minor nitpick - Since Xander got his new powers and identity from Halloween, you should mark it as YAHF.

From my understanding, Gary Gygax passed away in March of 2008, so you would probably have been wanting to say "The estate of Gary Gygax." However, it's far more likely that the intellectual property you're referring to is, in fact, the property of the company he founded, TSR, Inc. Either would have been a better choice.

One of those properties is another issue - double check the spelling of your references. You meant Faerûn, not Fairun.

While more a matter of style than right or wrong, most people refer to Dawn's diminutive as "Dawnie," not "Dawny." I'm not sure if that's canon or not.

A problem (and the only real problem) plot-wise, is that, seeing Dawn and Xander disappear, Buffy and Willow will literally tear the heavens apart looking for them. And they have that power, in their own universe.

If you've slogged through all of this, you're probably thinking that I (the reviewer) hate this. I don't. The basic foundation that you've built your story on is strong. It's just the difference between the big blob that is a diamond in the rough, and the Star of Africa. I hope to see more from you.
Comments from author:
That was very helpful to me thanks for putting the time in to review it in such detail.
Review By [(Current Donor)DeacBlue] • Date [24 Jan 12] • Rating [6 out of 10]
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