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Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from Jazzibear
Your story goes from strength to strength – witty, funny, sentimental in the best sense of the word, and full of human (and supernatural) interest. Also, very well written. There is very little that even the most captious critic (me for instance) could carp at.

That said, I do have one very tiny carplet: childer.

The plural of child these days is children, of course, but in older times the plural was childer. Yes, really. Then for some reason childer got pluraled again, hence children. Seeing childer used as though it’s a plural jars somewhat.
Comments from author:
Thank you very much.

In this instance it is neither. Childer is the term for a vampire who has been sired as a potential master vampire. Angelus is the childer of Darla, Drusilla is the childer of Angelus and so on. It is both plural and singular. A minion is a vampire who has been sired for the sole purpose of being cannon fodder. In this case, while Dawn has no idea who sired Black, she does know that there is no way that he was sired as a minion - thus he was a childer of some master vamp of that particular line of vampires.
Review By [Jazzibear] • Date [6 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from Xeelia
Awe this chapter made me sniffy!! It really shows how much Dawn cares for them both. I do wish Black had some information on who he was, before or after being sired, but like the real world it doesn't always work out.

I can't tell you how much i love this story. Beautiful work as always!

Can't wait to see Buffy, Xander, and Spike meet BlackJack!
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you see it that way, because I do to. :)

Unfortunately those are the breaks. Not many actually keep track of who has sired who unless they make a name for themselves - ie. the scourge of europe.

Thank you.

Heh heh heh,
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [6 Mar 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from Xeelia
Ooo Jack was a professor! Coolness! So are Black's clan worshipers of Connor then? Or is there a whole bunch of info you aren't sharing yet? hehe Pretty cool that Nikki was the one to stop the evil mage! So Spike's on his way huh? hehe Oh this will be priceless!! Great work as always!
Comments from author:
Yes, he was a newly hired professor of medieval history.

Yes, that is the clan that Black belonged to. As he has said, he is no longer interested in Connor and is planning on spending his unlife worshiping Dawn. lol

Of all the slayers we've heard about, Nikki is the one that I find most interesting as she was a mother. Of course, her Watcher was a pompous windbag like the rest of them and didn't really do a good job of raising her son after her death but that's just my opinion.

Yep, Spike is on his way. Let's see, Master Vamp meets baby vamp and finds out that baby vamp is dating his protected human. LOL
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [3 Mar 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Knightmare
Hello dragonfan, you asked when was Spike's chip removed? It was removed in the episode The Killer in Me in the seventh season. The reason it was even considered was because the chip was malfunctioning and threatening to kill Spike. Buffy contacted the former heads of the Initiative and was given a choice, either repair the chip or remove it. She chose the latter because she trusted and believed in Spike and in her own words stated to him "You are a good man William." Tara is mostly correct in her reasoning of curses and evil vampires. There was one major difference though with Spike's chip being removed and him not reverting back to evil. Spike had a soul that he earned and won for going through the demon trials in Africa. He was not cursed like Angel. His soul could not be removed through a moment of happiness or any other circumstance. What was unique about this was Spike as a soulless demon seeking out a soul and willing to endure the suffering and torment to better himself in Buffy's eyes and prove to her he could be a good man and a hero.
Comments from author:
Ah, I missed that episode. Thanks for the information.
Review By [Knightmare] • Date [1 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Xeelia
Well one psycho protective scoobie down, two more, possibly three if you count Spike, to go! lol Great chapter! Loved Dawn calling Willow out on her past relationships! And LOVED the first kiss!!! :D
Comments from author:
I've been going back and forth on whether or not to include Spike. On the one hand, I've got the perfect confrontation, on the other - that's all I've got, lol.

Oh yes. There's nothing like calling someone out who is being really hypocritical.

I'm glad you liked it. The last part of this chapter was really hard to get. I think I rewrote it about five times, so I'm happy that the kiss was good.
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [1 Mar 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Knightmare
Great chapter! Love the romance between them and Dawn stood up to Willow! You go girl! (lol) I had one question though, Tara mentioned in her thoughts that Spike was still chipped at this time. If this is mostly following canon with the exception of Tara being alive then Spike won back his soul and the chip was removed. I know you are not following the comics which is fine so I must assume he still in LA working with Angel. Is this right?

In hindsight Spike was not that bad of a vampire compared to Angel's demon side. He never was as depraved as Drusilla or Darla and he never wanted to end the world like Angelous did or other demons out there. There were many times he actually helped the Scoobies starting in the latter half of the fourth season until the very end. He wasn't perfect but he was unique in his ability to love as he did Buffy even before he got his soul. Something unheard of among vampires. He kept his promise to Buffy to protect Dawn until the end of the world after she died and fought with the Scoobies even though they never wanted him there. At the very end of the final battle with The First he achieved his redemption and went out as a Champion.
Comments from author:
Yes, but Tara was thinking about what held vampires back from being, well, vampires in general and Angel and Spike in specific - which was Angel's soul and Spike's chip for a long time. Are you sure it was removed? I thought that after he had his soul, it was still in there because it couldn't be removed.

Yes, I am ignoring the last ep of Angel. As far as I am concerned as a writer, Angel and co are still fighting in LA.

Nope, Spike really was a great character, and one that I particularly enjoyed, although I'm not to fond of his 'loving' the slayer. It always seemed to me to be a bit out of character. Now, falling for Dawn, no problem. She was his 'bit'. And I loved his transformation into a Champion.

Angel/Angelus, now that's a real shudder worthy vamp. I really hate seeing him get loose, which is why I had the girls tack his soul on tight. lol
Review By [Knightmare] • Date [1 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from NutsContract
Aw!! That's all I can say. I would have more words but I just watched the Avengers trailer and my brain is mush (Loki melted my panties--- I mean BRAIN!! My brain is melted and there are no words and I'm rambling and....)

Okay, I'm good now. Let's see, how do I use words. This chapter is awesome! Willow's overreaction is to be expected, and Tara's level headedness is also expected. I can't wait for the other Scoobies' reactions. And Black Jack's reaction(s) to Dawn being all with the Keyness.

So... in conclusion, you're amazing and I'm sorry for ranting about the Avengers. Well, no I'm not really sorry if you're an Avengers rabid fan like me, but if you aren't... sorry.
Comments from author:
LOL, thanks.
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [1 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from Knightmare
Great chapter as usual! I sense a pattern developing here! This chapter was funny but cute in a way. I love Faith calling the PTB the Powers that could kiss her ass! (lol) They really were worthless most of the time.

Dawn getting kidnapped is nothing new but disturbing in a sense. I am surprised it happens so often though. She is a witch and a pretty powerful one at that. Not as powerful as Willow by any means but given time she could be and with Willow and Tara teaching her. She did perform that Wiccan spell back in the fifth season to summon her dead mother back to life even though it was probably a zombie. Nevertheless Willow commented later on that particular spell took a lot of power more then what Giles or Jenny could do. Tara could do it so could Amy but not many others.

She was something of a decent fighter if you remember in the last episode of the Sixth season fighting zombies in that cave with Buffy. She stated she had been watching Buffy for years slaying hense she picking up some moves. In the last season she trained with the potentials in hand to hand combat and weapons ( mostly swords and crossbow ) taught by Buffy and Giles. This training was further enhanced by Spike ( an excellent melee fighter himself. ) All her training paid off in the final battle against The First when she held her own and more by killing a half a dozen or more Übervampires and Bringers with nothing but a sword Spike had given her. All in all combined with her knowledge of various styles of hand to hand combat and backed up by her developing magic, she is a formidable Watcher not to be taken lightly.

I just had to point that out. Dawn is more then a damsel in distress. She is a Scooby trained by the very best and she has the means to prove it. Hoped you liked my insights for your wonderful story. Update soon and take care.:D
Comments from author:
I did try to keep Faith in character and she's never been one to back off from speaking her mind. You're right, they are pretty worthless.

Yes she is a powerful witch and a trained Scooby, but as she said overwhelming force can still take her down. I think that her 'once a month and usually on a Tuesday' is something of an exaggeration, but is caused by her annoyance at the demons and various magic users who do think that she's the perfect helpless sacrifice/tool to use against her sister and do try to kidnap her. On the other hand, she never said that every attempted kidnapping was successful - what she did say was that she could take care of herself as well as any slayer.

This is something that is actually more about getting Black Jack to take the plunge about becoming a Scooby for her sake. Their perception that she is in frequent danger isn't wrong, but they still hasn't seen her in action yet. They don't know how good she is and won't for a while so that they can get up to speed in becoming fighters.
Review By [Knightmare] • Date [28 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from Bunney
Loving it :)
Comments from author:
That's good. Thank you.
Review By [Bunney] • Date [28 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from Xeelia
Great Chapter! I like Faith worrying about Dawn but also giving her the freedom to explore her relationship. I'm sure things won't be quite so quiet when Buffy and Xander find out she's dating and dating BlackJack.
Comments from author:
Thanks, that's just what I was going for. No, somehow I really don't think so either. LOL
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [27 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from HebiR
Well, Black Jack seems to be dipping his/their toe in the Scooby water. First helping to lift a curse, now working on the physical aspects- of course, Dawn is very intelligent, so one has to wonder how long it will be before she realizes that her friend is going far beyond what a casual friend, or even a friend with an eye towards the bedroom, would normally be willing to do to help her.
I really like the thought you put into "BJ's" strength's and weaknesses, that neither is a martial artist, the health problems, and the way it gave them an excuse to show off for Dawn without a shirt. You are a troper, aren't you?
Getting to see more of their personality and interests, as well the diferences between the brothers, would also be great.
And, just to clarify: do they think two actual brothers, one of whom was undead, now make up this unique entity, or do two probably unrelated wrong-place wrong-time victims call themselves brothers due to their current circumstances?

Faith was wonderful, so in-character and such a great big sister. Also, I loved that hint of the relationship she now has with Wesley in the last chapter. That she trusts him to be there when she is that weak and him putting her over The Mission...

It occurs to me that Black Jack might like the idea of Dawn's scars scaring off some of the competition, though I believe he meant what he said completely.

Every time I see that there is an update, my mood is boosted before I even start reading. And once I do, it appears that I am inspired to write reviews bordering on short essays singing (well, typing) its praises. Thanks!
Comments from author:
Thank you! Reviews like this always get me to thinking about what I should do next, or what I should fix, so the longer the better as far as I'm concerned. :D

Yeah, Black Jack knows where this is headed and knows what is necessary, even if they don't really want to do it. Dawn is worth any effort on their part though as far as they're concerned.

How soon Dawn is going to realize it? Not sure. She really hasn't had much luck in dating and the stuff the people around her have gone through really haven't given her much to go on as far as finding a really good guy, or at least one who is willing to try to be one. After all, Spike is her prime example of that. I'm not even sure she realized Jack was trying to kiss her, even if Faith knew.

I don't want to write supervamp. Black Jack is Not a Champion. They're just two guys who found themselves in a really bad situation and are dealing with it the best way they can. Now that they've found a girl that they can agree on, and one who likes them both, well they're doing everything they can to win her. That's why they know they need lessons and are willing to take them. As for the health problems, I actually suffered from Vitamin D deficiency one very bad and cold winter when I was rarely outside. I never noticed but my doctor did and read me a lecture on the subject.

I'm going to have to think about that, what makes them different I mean. They're really very similar, which is one of the reasons they get along so well.

All they know is that Black was already a vampire, while Jack was and is still human. Black knows some things that mean he had to have been a vampire for a while before they woke up together. So, probably just wrong place, wrong time on Jack's part. Black was probably either a childer or a vampire for hire of the idiot running the ritual. I'm thinking that it was a slayer who accidentally added Black to the mix by throwing him in the wrong direction when she crashed the party. They call themselves brothers because they've become brothers of the heart.

I really believe that Wes is the only Watcher for Faith, at least once he'd gotten his head out of his backside and had a little experience under his belt. I think that they took a long time to work through their issues, but they are a solid Watcher and Slayer pair now, friends as well as partners. Yes! I got her right! lol

Oh yes. *snicker* Neither of them are above using whatever they can think of to keep Dawn all to themselves, especially if it happens to be true.

You're Welcome.
Review By [HebiR] • Date [27 Feb 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from NutsContract
I feel like if Dawn knew that Faith was spying on her, she would be really irritated. Even I'm irritated for her. I know Faith means well (as opposed to other Scoobies who love to sabotage each other and claim its that they are doing it out of the kindness of their heart-- assholes!!), it's kind of annoying how people think that it's okay to invade each other's privacy like that, and that there will be no consequences. Seriously, I'm surprised that Dawn hasn't flipped a lid, yet. Well anyway, I'm glad you updated, and keep 'em coming! :)
Comments from author:
Ah, but that's why Faith is keeping out of sight. She doesn't want to spoil things for Dawn, just be there if she's needed. She's doesn't want to hand out the shovel speech and get on Dawn's bad side, but she doesn't want Dawn to run off with a guy that hasn't been vetted either. This is the day after another kidnapping after all. It is more about Dawn's safety than being a peeping tom on Faith's part.

And Dawn has flipped, many times, over just how over protective the Scoobies are of her. That's why she tried to lay down the law about Black Jack in the second chapter.
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [27 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from Jazzibear
Excellent chapter: the high standard hitherto is very well maintained!

All of which is to say, I like Black Hat a lot.

I’ve never encountered Black Jack before, and I don’t much care whether your BJ is true to the canonical BJ. What’s vital for me is that your BJ is an interesting character and fits into your story, which he does. Very well, too.

Your craftsmanship in the writing of good English is praiseworthy. I spent 28 years of my working life cleaning up scientists’ scripts, so I know whereof I speak (er, write). Very well done!

One small thing in this chapter, though: “peaked her interest” should be “piqued her interest”.
Comments from author:
Thank you very much!

Black Jack is an original character and I'm very glad to hear that he isn't turning out to be a Mary Sue. I haven't written that many OCs and I'm a bit wary of them, especially my own.

LOL, You can thank my great grandmother for that. She was an English teacher who insisted that her family speak and write the language correctly, especially her granddaughter who stayed with her frequently - my mother. She passed the lessons down to me.

Thank you for the correct spelling. I didn't know that one, but it is now fixed.
Review By [Jazzibear] • Date [27 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from tosca
[snickers] Now that is a truly evil curse! Great chapter!
Comments from author:
Unfortunately as I write this my DD is going through the exact same thing. 8( T-T

Thank you.
Review By [tosca] • Date [26 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from AonGealach
Perfect story. I am so into this. I hope you post the next chapter and soon. I look forward to more BlackJack Dawn interaction.
Comments from author:
Thank you
Review By [AonGealach] • Date [26 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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