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Village Hidden on the Hellmouth

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Review of chapter "chapter 2" from Doodle
Excellent chapter. 1,000/10
Review By [Doodle] • Date [9 Mar 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "chapter 2" from CrystalBlaze
Having read stories where Naruto retained aspects of Xander (likely due to the seal), I like to think that Xander ends up retaining Naruto's traits and powers but may not know at first, especially if he took it upon himself to copy the Shiki Fuuin Seal as shown in the anime and manga onto his belly before Halloween.

What I pray does NOT happen is his getting a 'ghost' of the freaking Yoko no Kyuubi... (I frankly doubt it as the seal being realized would have had the Shinigami collect it as payment, since any deaths would have had Death's attention that evening anyway..)

Edit: This, I forgot to say earlier, is why Xander would not know about the Naruto-template inside aside from his appetites and the like until he's some some soul-searching. As you know, the soul of the user of the Shiki Fuuin is also collected. Thus, the template's soul was sent on to the next life--restored to Naruto, in other words.

Xander's body is underpowered by Naruto's standards, I suspect, because his body doesn't have either the conditioning of Naruto's nor the Kyuubi.
Comments from author:
Xander won't get a ghost Of the kyuubi per se, but the fox will leave his mark. ;)
You'll find out next chapter.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [9 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "chapter 2" from ReflectionsOfReality
Interesting ideas:
When magic is involved anything is completely possible just consider if the Princess knew the right ritual and was in need of Naruto's skills some time in her life... with clear focus imagery and a name she could accidentally summon both of them Xander and the Rokudame Hokage Naruto Namikaze... or better yet what might happen if Xander is actually able to militarize Sunnydale into a coherent village (being able to add a good number of the enemies of the week to his ranks instead of mere defeat both human and demonic and possibly robotic) only to have the entire town end up in a dimension like where Riften could become an actual client or even sponsor nation. (It could happen if Xander tried an alternate method to seal Glory's rift like using the sealing arts and took 10 minutes longer so as its effects saturated more expansively.)

I bet this might be another review that someone has to read twice to get everything out of but I have to ask, what do you think of it?
Comments from author:
I read the whole thing with no problem this time. ;)

Great ideas! I wasn't planning on using naruto again actually. Maybe I'll cross it later so he and naruto can actually meet. Nor was I planning on making the whole hellmouth the village. Now that I think about it...that's a great idea! It'll definitely be an epic length story if I do that AND cross it later on! This reminded me of a plot bunny I had going on in my head way before I started writing fanfics. This is going to be great!!!

Ps. You are such a great muse.
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [9 Mar 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "chapter 2" from OdinMage
I'm interested to see where this goes. I certainly like the idea, but I don't like the 'no ninjutsu' (you've gotta love the Shadow Clone at least!) and REALLY don't like the 'yaoi' you mention in the summary. I hope that won't include Xander.
Comments from author:
It just might. Xander will be very much bisexual in my story. So if you have a pairing in mind you better tell me now and I'll see if I can work something out. If I don't like the pairing I will end up pairing that character with somebody else instead.
Review By [OdinMage] • Date [9 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "chapter 2" from LFW
Nice chapter
I hope that Joyce gets more time in this fic
but Xander wanting miso ramen and Twinkies amused me and I do so hope that Naruto does not need Twinkies. Although, the Fox getting that desire is slightly amusing
Review By [LFW] • Date [9 Mar 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Zyanadryn
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............. Naruto Xander!! looking forward to ur next update!!!!
Review By [Zyanadryn] • Date [8 Mar 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from eriktheviking
A well written look at Xander's thoughts for his costume.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [5 Mar 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from ReflectionsOfReality
You know at first I wanted to object to tossing out Naruto's defining jutsu but in all honesty those jutsu are just the things that would make things far to easy...

Hmm as for attributes lets play the decision point game (there are two types of fanfictions out there those that decide to throw bits of cannon away and just do things differently and those that pick points in the time line where events happened and decisions were made and instead takes the path less traveled. The decision point game is simply taking the second type and deciding how to diverge the timeline with the possibility of it being only Naruto's choices that cause it to diverge so far):

1. A good starting point is the creation of the knucklehead prankster mask that is designed to hide talents and skills from those that would be threatened by them. In cannon Naruto reacted and actually altered his actions to protect himself but became the knucklehead rather than just creating the harder to maintain mask.
2. He learned what he could but only showed a smaller skill set after one of his earlier teachers failed him regardless of how well he actually succeeded.
3. He is his father's son intellectually and actually studied ahead while holding the dead-last position so as by the time he joined Iruka's class he could skip lessons and sleep through them without detriment while he spent the missing time and late nights with chakra control exercises and breaking into libraries to hone his skills (particularly medical and seal work).
4. To explain why he does not use kage bunshin technique I would put forward that he was actually able to refine his chakra to the point he was able to do the regular clone BUT was still failed in the third test on a technicality. When tasked to learn one jutsu from the Forbidden Scroll of SEALS he is actually able use his previously learned seal knowledge to learn one of the seals with in the scroll rather than a jutsu most jounin know in Konoha (I am thinking a paralysis seal that is used for capturing ninja or even simple time manipulation) and use it to defeat Mizuki.
5. Wave arc Naruto might have been able to deduce the location of the bridge battle before hand which means that as a seal specialist(not yet master) he is able to prepare the battle ground (maybe area chakra draining seals linked to structural strengthening seals while also giving his comrades seals to key them to it so it does not drain them as fast, Zabuza and Haku actually help strengthen the bridge they are trying to stop) to his teammates advantage so they can win without needing to access the foxes chakra.
6. For the Forest of Death Naruto might have been able to mitigate the curse seal slightly maybe being able to combine his budding medical and seal knowledge to prevent the mutagen from spreading as far and thus making Sasuke's future curse seal transformations no where near as powerful. He might also have done the more ninja move and known how far out of his league Orochimaru was and stayed out of it thus not earning the elemental seal from the snake Sannin.
7. His preliminary fight with Kiba could illustrate some simple seal innovation (what do you think of a linked explosive not pair so that if one goes off so does the other? The slightest bit of chakra and both the seal on the back of Kiba and his dog can go off at the same time. Maybe with added elemental conversion so that they stun rather than burn?)
8. Ebisu still pisses off Naruto only he takes the man out before Jiraiya can with one of his earliest seal combinations. Jiraiya is impressed and rather than training him as a heavy hitter takes him under his wing as a seal master (mostly by throwing seal scrolls at him with maybe taking a half hour a day to see if he learned anything from them).
9. Tsunade's challenge in the next arc is instead for Naruto to figure out her Yin Seal (the diamond on her forehead) for himself rather than the Rasengen. He actually is able to take it a step further and able to use it it to store purified chakra from the fox that could then be used for medical purposes.
10. In the course of it Naruto is taken as Shizune's medical apprentice and Jiraiya and Tsunade keep up his seal training.
11. Maybe throw in Naruto also doing work on the cursed seal and Tsunade giving him access to Orochimaru's notes on sealing so he can effectively learn the are from all three Sannin.
12. Throw in him being given his father's and mother's notes on seals when he make Jounin (no flying thundergod but maybe some of its precursor knowledge so it could be redeveloped from scratch if he was dedicated enough but maybe with a slant of becoming his own ninja rather than just be his father's son)...

Yeah I can see the point of might as well write your own Naruto fanfiction. I can see Naruto forming relationships with various people of both sexes during the duration of his career particularly if someone takes the Sexy jutsu to its logical conclusion and ensure Naruto gets seduction training to fully utilise it...

Xander would of course gain memories of not just what the manga and anime and fanfiction spot light but also all the times in between that are either too adult, mundane or dark to fit in with the desired plot progression. Maybe even give him a little kyuubi voice in the back of his head that has the demon's personality and knowledge without his continent destroying powers as well as missing any will power to actually take possession...

It is really easy to delve into these plot line huh?
Comments from author:
Im not going to lie. I could not read all of this. you made my head spin in circles which means that im going to have to come back to this tomorrow when im fresh and try again.

i do, however, get your point. Im going to go through your ideas and see which i like and if i can get some inspiration from them. thanks!
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [4 Mar 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AlecMcDowell
Any Naruto-Buffy fics are worth a look and this has a decent start. The way Xander is setting up his costume though I almost feel like he should just be a random Konoha ninja with the skill list he wants. The only real benefit to saying he's 'Naruto' here seems to me if Kyuubi sticks around after the spell ends. Which would be very interesting, no doubt, but I feel like since this is 'build your own Naruto' you need to take advantage of something that would make fighting vampires easier than anything- the Mokuton. Come on, Xander summoning up a giant tree and then spitting out branches to impale a whole nest? It'd be very neat. I am glad to see he wants fuuinjutsu skills though, those are always fun. Looking forward to more
Comments from author:
lol it basically was build your own naruto and xander is well...xander. he could take this simple skill set and do something extraordinary. that added with naruto's creativity and prank experience...i sense chaos here. lol
im not sure what im going to do about kyuubi yet. im working on that still.
Review By [AlecMcDowell] • Date [4 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Doodle
Excellent chapter/fic. 1,000/10

How often are you going to update this?
Comments from author:
i havent a clue. i'll try to finish up another one of my fics so i can concentrate on this more. just waiting for inspiration...
Review By [Doodle] • Date [4 Mar 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from ladiciusevol
Wow! Interesting start, I look forward to seeing how this develops.
Comments from author:
thanks! ive been meaning to answer this challenge for awhile. i hope i do it justice
Review By [ladiciusevol] • Date [4 Mar 12] • Not Rated
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