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Rise of the Ultimate Peasant

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Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from myrddyn
Review:
ok sweet story! would like to see xander deconstruct the lantean outpost on earth though and
maybe get a new power like the ability to upgrade and repair buildings/craft ect!
Review By [myrddyn] • Date [3 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from sunamee
Review:
I look forward to seeing book 2. I do wonder if you will have Xander build an empire to fight the Goa'uld, Wraith, and Ori. Or something else.
Review By [sunamee] • Date [24 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from LostAndFound
Review:
Very nice premise. Some points in no particular order:

-The story could be bigger and more elaborate, specifically from the point where Xander started building in the desert the story seems rushed with some world-building and little character growth. As it stands now the story feels more like a prologue or a setup for a future story then anything else.
-Xander himself: Zeppo to godlike in 30 days tops. Good storytelling would display his thoughts and emotions on the changes that happened and the weight of the world suddenly on his back. Aside from the OMG I'm undead moment he seems a bit bland about everything that is happening. He is a geek who just got godlike powers. He would either freak, throw a party or do an epic Aaaaaaw Yeeeeeeah every time he is reminded as to what he is now. Blood drinking seems the only bummer to me... Poor poor Xander without his (mostly fannon) Twinkies...
-Stargate crossover... A bit old but on the positive side you have a massive universe to play with.
-Other characters feel at times like cardboard cutouts.

Good story, intriguing premise, no large grammar issues*. Very rushed on the Overwhelming scale. Infinite gold cheat? Lazy. :P

Now the question is... What do you have cooked up that will pose a problem to a man (god?) who can basically land on a planet and spam an army in a few hours and repeat the same ad nauseum?


*at least none that actually broke me from immersion.
Review By [LostAndFound] • Date [21 Apr 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Ichai
Review:
I dislike giving negative reviews, but this fic was made of fail.
The grammar was gruesome, the spelling subpar, the plot was pitiful, and pacing pathetic.
I would highly suggest learning to conjugate properly, or failing that, find yourself an editor/beta reader.

Also, why the hell would a Lantean use an Al'kesh, a Goa'uld ship, when their own ships are so vastly in advance of the Goa'uld?
Review By [Ichai] • Date [16 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Rogues
Review:
Great story, though I am disappointed that you glossed over the reactions towards Xander becoming a vampire I greatly enjoyed this story.
Review By [Rogues] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from darkplayer
Review:
Great story. I like the story plot and look forward to seeing how the sequel develops. It has a ton of potential. Please update soon.
Review By [darkplayer] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Toraneko
Review:
Good story... though i'm somewhat unsure why the SGC didn't investigate some of the happenings in Sunnydale. Anyway, hope to see the sequel soon. keep up the good work.
Review By [Toraneko] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from falsegod
Review:
wow that was great I can't wait for more
Review By [falsegod] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Rob
Review:
This was a fun story. Very weird premise that works very well. Looking forward to the sequel.
Review By [Rob] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from CageFire
Review:
A pretty good start to a story I suppose. I wonder where it'll go from here.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two – Preparations" from TroyGuffey
Review:
Decently written, but the idea of Xander being able to deconstruct things by merely slamming his hands against things is ludicrous. There should be Apprentice Peasants that either use mundane tools, or work faster as skill increases. In the game we just see the Masters, althought there are Apprentices working under him.
Gave up reading at Chapter Two.
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from TJG
Review:
Good story.

I would suggest changing Xander's sight scan from ten meters to 100 meters to match typical distances from the road to building structures.

Some ideas:

Xander might want to do a final check for magic items on Earth to deconstruct them in structures.

Xander might want to have Enterprise to scan Earth and the surrounding solar system for any signs of interesting structures and technologies. This includes the South Pole base buried under ice. He could scan and deconstruct them. This likely would negate SG1 finding the base and numerous Gould archeological finds (and the aliens themselves). This could also allow Xander to have an idea of the status and location of alien empires around even though the information would be several thousand years out of date, though there does not appear to have been that much change from what was implied on stagnation.

Before hitting active alien civilizations, the group could (if they get information on the star gates) to go to all the star gates and similar that are currently on uninhabited worlds. There are plenty implied being around. This could eventually pick up things like the knowledge repositories and even Atlantis.

A possible way to deal with many alien civilizations could be to make a special stealth and shielded small space craft that is designed to allow Xander (perhaps in an armored suit for extra protection) to deconstruct enemy capital space ships and structures. This could be with a special air lock that lets Xander to stick his hands through to pound on enemy structure until it is deconstructed. This could take most enemies by surprise.

One strategy could be to try arrange to make sure enemies are in structures to deconstruct them. Something to experiment with could include seeing how fast Xander can make structures and locations. As an example creating a solid reinforced concrete box around an enemy then deconstructing the box with the enemy inside it. this would not work against the Ori energy beings though. Maybe some sort of powered armor version of the Ghost Busters (movies and animated series of the same name) equipment might work.
Comments from author:
Thanks for your suggestions and advice TJG :) I must admit the precise measurements of distance is not something I am good at. Thanks for your input, I've changed the 100 meters scanning radius.

Your idea for Xander to do a last check on Earth is also cool, I should have thought of that. ^^ And yup, I need to come up with ways for Xander to sneak into infrastructures in future to do some discreet deconstructiong =)
Review By [TJG] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Trickasmurph
Review:
Very interesting. I LOVE the fact that you made a definite stop in your plans. SO often a story gets started and left for dead, the way you did it is GREAT.

Honestly, I am not sure where I want to see it go, but your writing was good enough that I am quite interested in seeing which way it takes off no matter the direction.
Review By [Trickasmurph] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from OdinMage
Review:
Frickin AWESOME!!! This is one of the coolest idea's I've seen in a while. I'll admit part of that is that I love 'super!Xander' but... this just kicks ass. I can't wait for the next story in the series!
Review By [OdinMage] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Bluesnowman
Review:
Love it keep it up
Review By [Bluesnowman] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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