Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Rise of the Ultimate Peasant

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Inquisitor
Review:
nice ending/beginning...looking forward to when Xander encounters Apophis&Klorel's Hatak ships...was wondering Xander wil encounter a Destiny Seed class seedship or at least have the facilities to make more stargates or even a cityship...Earth is supposed to be the capital of the exiled Alteran civilization...which means that the solar system is littered with their junk....if the Alkesh had Alteran sensors, it should detect the cities under the glaciers of Antarctica...
Review By [Inquisitor] • Date [25 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from (Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow
Review:
A fun story which ends at a good place from the point of view of narrative structure, but it really feels like it needs a sequel to close the high-level story arc. Here's hoping you don't take too long a break before starting on one. :)

(Sorry for the confusing initial review draft. I'm hot and drowsy.)
Review By [(Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow] • Date [17 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from egwolf
Review:
love it!! great story!!!!!!!!!!
Review By [egwolf] • Date [9 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Morgomir
Review:
Great story. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [6 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from myrddyn
Review:
ok sweet story! would like to see xander deconstruct the lantean outpost on earth though and
maybe get a new power like the ability to upgrade and repair buildings/craft ect!
Review By [myrddyn] • Date [3 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from sunamee
Review:
I look forward to seeing book 2. I do wonder if you will have Xander build an empire to fight the Goa'uld, Wraith, and Ori. Or something else.
Review By [sunamee] • Date [24 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from LostAndFound
Review:
Very nice premise. Some points in no particular order:

-The story could be bigger and more elaborate, specifically from the point where Xander started building in the desert the story seems rushed with some world-building and little character growth. As it stands now the story feels more like a prologue or a setup for a future story then anything else.
-Xander himself: Zeppo to godlike in 30 days tops. Good storytelling would display his thoughts and emotions on the changes that happened and the weight of the world suddenly on his back. Aside from the OMG I'm undead moment he seems a bit bland about everything that is happening. He is a geek who just got godlike powers. He would either freak, throw a party or do an epic Aaaaaaw Yeeeeeeah every time he is reminded as to what he is now. Blood drinking seems the only bummer to me... Poor poor Xander without his (mostly fannon) Twinkies...
-Stargate crossover... A bit old but on the positive side you have a massive universe to play with.
-Other characters feel at times like cardboard cutouts.

Good story, intriguing premise, no large grammar issues*. Very rushed on the Overwhelming scale. Infinite gold cheat? Lazy. :P

Now the question is... What do you have cooked up that will pose a problem to a man (god?) who can basically land on a planet and spam an army in a few hours and repeat the same ad nauseum?


*at least none that actually broke me from immersion.
Review By [LostAndFound] • Date [21 Apr 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Ichai
Review:
I dislike giving negative reviews, but this fic was made of fail.
The grammar was gruesome, the spelling subpar, the plot was pitiful, and pacing pathetic.
I would highly suggest learning to conjugate properly, or failing that, find yourself an editor/beta reader.

Also, why the hell would a Lantean use an Al'kesh, a Goa'uld ship, when their own ships are so vastly in advance of the Goa'uld?
Review By [Ichai] • Date [16 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Rogues
Review:
Great story, though I am disappointed that you glossed over the reactions towards Xander becoming a vampire I greatly enjoyed this story.
Review By [Rogues] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from darkplayer
Review:
Great story. I like the story plot and look forward to seeing how the sequel develops. It has a ton of potential. Please update soon.
Review By [darkplayer] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Toraneko
Review:
Good story... though i'm somewhat unsure why the SGC didn't investigate some of the happenings in Sunnydale. Anyway, hope to see the sequel soon. keep up the good work.
Review By [Toraneko] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from falsegod
Review:
wow that was great I can't wait for more
Review By [falsegod] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Rob
Review:
This was a fun story. Very weird premise that works very well. Looking forward to the sequel.
Review By [Rob] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from CageFire
Review:
A pretty good start to a story I suppose. I wonder where it'll go from here.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two – Preparations" from TroyGuffey
Review:
Decently written, but the idea of Xander being able to deconstruct things by merely slamming his hands against things is ludicrous. There should be Apprentice Peasants that either use mundane tools, or work faster as skill increases. In the game we just see the Masters, althought there are Apprentices working under him.
Gave up reading at Chapter Two.
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [10 Apr 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
start back Page: 2 of 4 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking