Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Rise of the Ultimate Peasant

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from lordamnesia
Review:
Badass! A very very interesting YAHF, and a great start to a series that could go anywhere, especially with Dawns innate powers! Keep up the great work, I can't wait for book 2!
Review By [lordamnesia] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from lljv
Review:
this is awesome.hope for book2 soon.he should find a planet with no-one or very little people to make his homebase,where he can create elf/orcs and others from the game to start his forces.
Review By [lljv] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from shakeval
Review:
dang, that was three chapters of interesting, some parts seemed a little rushed and a couple of your tenses were off a little, but overall quite a good read.
I see a couple ways you can go about things with this story.
-you can closely follow the star gate storyline, which is boring but gives you tons of structure, but not a lot of flexibility.
-you can take the various events in the star gate continuum and look at what could have happened differently and how that would affect others.
-you could completely divorce Xander and crew from the actions of SG1, while what Xander does may be noticed or even affect Star Gate commands various teams and mission, as a whole they will rarely meet up.

personally option three would be the most interesting as most stories out there have Xander meet up and then become almost secondary to the actions of SG1, everything becomes sorta boring after that, since most of the plot and story is exactly as the episodes lay it out. Xander is his own entity now and he could make a powerful force in the galaxy. One thing he could then do is take over a couple minor Goa'uld, whether or not a Goa'uld would realize what is going on during a deconstruction and send out some Jaffa or not is up to you, but it would be interesting to see what happens when some of the more interesting buildings and technology are assimilated into Xander's building compendium. Do buildings take of minor features to reflect their allegiance to Xander's side?

If Xander deconstructs a Goa'uld Hatak can he upgrade it after construction, boosting it's level with Alteran or other technology, as if he had already done a technology upgrade.
Another thing i have to wonder about, Goa'uld architecture implements a massive amount of gold and stone in it, how will this reflect on what Xander acquires through deconstruction? While the gold isn't important to Xander anymore i wonder about Naquada, that is an element used in a lot of Goa'uld technology, will that open up a new element or is that just a neglected aspect?

Away from earth, will Xander still have access to the abilities of The Seed of Wonder?
What will the reaction be from Jaffa is Xander has their god turned into a sheep, vampires have yellow eyes that can have a slight glow to them and with the massive amount of power Xander has running through him it should be easy to really get his glow on, would Jaffa see this as a more powerful god taking out their god?

Will Xander decide that he could save more be acting as a new god, sparing many from suffering by making it seem to all the other Goa'uld that this is merely 'normal' fighting among minor Goa'uld, which happens a lot, and so can be ignored until it becomes a problem for them, the old 'someone elses problem' sort of a situation?

Anyways, good first book, looking forwards to what you do with the coming books, keeping the story compartmentalized will definitely make things easier for you to deal with any writer block and similar issues that one runs into with massive far spanning stories that have dozens of chapters
Review By [shakeval] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from stonegolem
Review:
Nice.
Review By [stonegolem] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from leonamasha
Review:
Really enjoyed your story especially how your integrated the SG and Buffy verses seamlessly. Definitely interested in how things will go in the future. Yep, this is definitely a series to look forward to. Thanks.
Review By [leonamasha] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from KingHawke
Review:
brilliance seems to flow from your page at a steady pace. I like it. however, for who to save, making an alliance with the Invisible high tech hippies would be excellent. saving the Joffa would be great, I am not keen on saving the Tolan or the Asgard. too arrogant with too many rules. but, the primitive race that houses the Goa'uld. the ones who wear the necklaces to stop the parasites, they would make powerful hard working allies for the Constructor.
Review By [KingHawke] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from ReflectionsOfReality
Review:
I can sort of see a spoof option later on where Xander is able to completely deconstruct a planet (like Dakara or the Asuran home world) but I do sort of wonder what the largest structure Xander might deconstruct... I can sort of see Xander captured by alien X (Wraith, Goa'uld, Ori, Asuran, Aschen, Asgard etc) only for him to then deconstruct the ship around him and find himself floating in the vacuums of space (good thing that he has need for breath and is immune to radiation and light). I also am wondering how much information he would absorb by deconstructing a Stargate complex...
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from BlackWarth
Review:
It was an interesting story i hope you will write book 2 soon.
Review By [BlackWarth] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from EmmyN
Review:
Wow this was great, looking forward to book 2 :)
Review By [EmmyN] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One - Birth of the Ultimate Peasant" from Thedruid
Review:
You know, I strangly like your powerhouse stories, though I usually dont like that type of story, and this one is good by itself. But I beg of you, bring us another chapter of your MotFS story! Please! :)
Review By [Thedruid] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from sinkun
Review:
love it
Review By [sinkun] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Iamthewalrus
Review:
This gave me all kinds of warcraft 3 nostalgia, I'm probably gonna have to reinstall that into my computer.
Review By [Iamthewalrus] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from Bobboky
Review:
very cool
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three – Source of Magic" from xon
Review:
You made Xander a bit of a Stu character, but I'll readily confess that well-written Marty-Stu fics are so rare that they're something of a guilty pleasure for me.

I think that there were a few things that you could've done better, but...
Review By [xon] • Date [9 Apr 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
start back Page: 4 of 4
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking