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The Fourth Charmed One

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Review of chapter "Chapter One: Angry Outbursts" from jimk
Review:
Love the idea of Buffy as a Charmed one. However, the way you tried to do it? An angry Joyce is one thing. A psychotic Joyce is another.

Edi: Well, either you're trying to be cute or your field is psychology and you get annoyed when people adopt and then change the meaning of technical terms. I was using psychotic in the normal, mainstream use of the word and not as a technical definition. Psychotic in this sense meaning over the top angry, no plausible justification and way beyond the level of anger that any normal or average person would show in this situation. I stand by that criticism. You made Joyce ridiculous. Not saying you can't do that as author, just that I thought the way you did it didn't work. You made her outrageously OOC but there was nothing in the story to explain or justify that. I'm simply saying you made too abrupt a change with no back story or similar and it wasn't believable by itself.

All that said, it is a relatively minor point in your story and I'm only elaborating in this because you are playing games in your response about technical usage of the word psychotic.
Comments from author:
The word "Psychotic" means dangerous or violent because of mental illness. someone who is psychotic behaves in a dangerous or violent way because they have a serious mental illness. A psychotic killer is just one of the many ways to use this word.

"Angry" means very annoyed. Another way to look at it is behavior. Showing someone that they are very annoyed.

Joyce was angry with Buffy.

Joyce was angry about the way Buffy was treating her.



Besides my Joyce was out of character....
Review By [jimk] • Date [31 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Phoebe's Premonition" from darkplayer
Review:
Interesting start. It has a lot of potential. Please update soon.
Review By [darkplayer] • Date [28 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Phoebe's Premonition" from TheElegantFaerie
Review:
Yay! An update! :) I loved Phoebe's Premonition.... it showed that Buffy's a Vampire Slayer as well as their sister. Will they be meeting her soon? Also can't wait for Buffy to find out that her new family is a witch family. Also can't wait for Cole's first appearance! :)
Review By [TheElegantFaerie] • Date [27 Apr 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Phoebe's Premonition" from SilverMidnight
Review:
I really like the story so far, it seems interesting and I can't wait to see where it is heading. I am excited to see Andy being brought back, I absolutely loved him on the show and I was really sad when he died. I am really looking forward to the meeting between the Charmed One's and the Slayer. Can't wait for more! :)
Review By [SilverMidnight] • Date [27 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Phoebe's Premonition" from AllenPitt
Review:
Well, given that she doesn't believe in the supernatural, I can understand why Joyce could only conclude that Buffy was running with a bad crowd (burning down the gym etc) and lying about it to boot. Then said something she might end up regretting...
Not sure why Andy is back. Unless he's a vampire? That'd be strange. Hm, so Sam is Buffy's dad? Gee, she sure can pick them. He was an awful father.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [27 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: A New Name In San Francisco" from bradsan
Review:
Finally another Cole/Buffy pairing. I hope more writers will try this pairing. Can't wait for the next update. Your start is good only a little short but hey better then nothing.

Joyce is really a bitch. How can she say that Buffy has to leave and never come back again and how can she lie about Buffy's age.
Buffy forget she isn't the only Slayer anymore there is another one who can protect the Hellmouth and evil is everywhere so she can start slaying where she wants. She is finally released from the Hellmouth.

Hope you'll try to complete this story there are so many unfinished good story.
Review By [bradsan] • Date [14 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: A New Name In San Francisco" from (Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard
Review:
interesting concept :) looking forward to more.
Review By [(Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: A New Name In San Francisco" from scottm
Review:
Great beginning to the story. I don't like how her mother treated her in the first part. Most mother's wouldn't act like that. I'm looking forward to her meeting her sisters. Keep up the wonderful writing.
Review By [scottm] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: A New Name In San Francisco" from (Current Donor)vidicon
Review:
I must admit I prefer my Joyce's nicer. But she does have a temper and Buffy is not exactly being helpful here. Joyce is no saint, but then none of the cast are. I wonder where this will lead. I am slightly worried about the age discrepancy. That would have been noted by any half-competent doctor and quite possibly her Watchers might have investigated too.

Look forward to see how you deal with that.
Comments from author:
Look I know that everyone has their opinions and are entitled to them...but as an author of fan fiction, I can make my characters out of character when ever I want. As for the "age discrepancy" it was a requirement made buy the author that made this challenge. You can go back and look on chapter 1 where I added the plot and the requirements.
Review By [(Current Donor)vidicon] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: A New Name In San Francisco" from TheElegantFaerie
Review:
yay! another chapter! Will Buffy still go by Buffy and not Payton? Will she be meeting her sisters soon and will she learn that shes a witch too?
Comments from author:
My plot bunny says that Buffy will still go by Buffy from the people she knew in Sunnydale, but she is going to go by Payton Halliwell considering the fight that she had with Joyce. Buffy (Payton) wants to distance herself from Joyce as much as possible at the moment. But you never know what I might come up with next. And LOL yes, of course she is going to be meeting her sisters soon. Probably within the next chapter or two. :)
Review By [TheElegantFaerie] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Angry Outbursts" from TheElegantFaerie
Review:
Wow! yay! I'm glad someone took this challenge! Great start so far! Please update soon! :)
Comments from author:
Thank you for bringing up such a great challenge! :) I am very happy that you are enjoying the story so far :)
Review By [TheElegantFaerie] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Angry Outbursts" from (Current Donor)mmooch
Review:
I like your Joyce better than the challenge one - who sounded like 'Saint Joyce' of fanfic. She is not my fav character at the end of season 2 or during season 3. And definitely liked that you had Buffy come in the front door instead of sneaking in like she did something wrong. Keep up the great work!
Comments from author:
Thank you! Yeah my muse went crazy when I was thinking of all the reactions that Joyce might have to Buffy being a Vampire Slayer. I definitely think that an angry Joyce is better than a passive Joyce.
Review By [(Current Donor)mmooch] • Date [11 Apr 12] • Not Rated
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