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Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from CPTSkip
Review:
Nice update and I am so happy to see your story was prematurely "finished". "A P Hill?" I believe that is also the name of a US military training area. Lol!

I love it when a Predator alien goes after 'bad guys'. I'm never conflicted as to who to root for.
Comments from author:
A P Hill; doesn't surprise me. Did you 'get' the other Generals I've used?

Cheers,
D.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [21 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from Mcspender
Review:
So the Army is trying to get more info on the Preds, and kill them of course.
Interesting thing about the Alien tech blocking Willow's magical intuition, and Hill's in the ride of his life, methinks.
Cool chapter, see ya!.
Comments from author:
Someone suggest that Quantum Physics/Warp Drives (or whatever) screws with magic...why not I thought!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [21 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from Rich
Review:
First, I was thinking it was about time Riley showed up, and in the next paragraph he did. Then, I was thinking that the SGC might get involved, and in the next paragraph Riley thought the same thing. Now I'm thinking about a million dollars and we'll sees what happens next.

Another excellent addition to the series. It's about time the Scoobies checked up on Faith; it was inevitable that their paths would eventually cross again. With Mrs. B transferred to the "good friends" category, it's even possible that Faith might get closer to Willow, which would be interesting. This could turn into a massive multiple crossover before it's done. I look forward to finding out.

PS. A P Hill ? I suppose R E Lee or JEB Stuart would have been too obvious ?
Comments from author:
Thank-you.

And yes Lee and Stuart would be too obvious! I'm rotten at choosing names for things or people so for this story I went for Confederate General Officers!

Cheers,
D.

PS; I hope that $Million turns up!
Review By [Rich] • Date [21 May 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from draconis
Review:
Glad to see the story's abrupt "end" and seeming removal of Brenda was a posting error. Thanks for the quick update.

The line “'This is all too weird for us chickens,' Faith informed her buddy," reminded me of the "cheer" line from the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, "How funky is our chicken..." (or at least, I think that's what it was).

I could just picture Willow in way oversized camo tactical gear (she looks cute...as long as it's non-dark-Willow).
Comments from author:
I think I got that line from 'Over There' when the Mrs B (Brenda) character said something similar.

Now 'how funky is your chicken...how spruce is your goose' is a line from 'The New Guy'...the film with ED as a cheerleader and the 'dancing in her bikini' scene....*sighs*.

And yep, you got what I was aiming for with Willow in Camo gear and a cap pulled down over her eyes.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [draconis] • Date [21 May 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from war
Review:
Hope that ship didn't have any eggs on it or that town is in for some bad mojo.

Good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
Thank-you.
D.
Review By [war] • Date [21 May 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from AllenPitt
Review:
So... Predator? Reminds me of Predator 2 a bit. Meanwhile the call to the 'experts' in Colorado will shake things up, I foresee a big jurisdictional battle brewing, each side (SGC/Riley's group) thinking they should be in control of the op.
Add Faith in, and stir. Willow should be surprised. She didn't like Faith much back in S3, might have changed her opinion by now.
Comments from author:
Actually I think Willow was starting to get to like Faith just before things all went south.

Yep big battles on the horizon but with whom!?

Definitely based on Predator 2 which was the last Predator movie I saw.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [21 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from valdimarian
Review:
for some reason I think that you'd like an author I read named Sashile, she wrote a series of NCIS stories and another two stories using some OCs she used in the NCIS story. Her works are on Fanfiction.net and fictionpress.
Comments from author:
I think I've got a link to 'fictionpress' maybe I'll give it a look sometime.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [valdimarian] • Date [21 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from PATM
Review:
I still think there is another chapter on its way, habit I guess.
Comments from author:
And you'd be right!

My mistake for not clicking a button on the story details!!!

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [PATM] • Date [20 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Hecatonchires
Review:
Faith vs yautja? Woot!
Comments from author:
Loads of story to come. I screwed up doing the story details!

Sorry,
D.
Review By [Hecatonchires] • Date [20 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Mcspender
Review:
Bad luck about Brenda, I kinda like her; at least they're still friends.
And talk about peculiar things, this particular Yautja seems way too much, I mean, he was careless enough to crash-land in an town, and ruthless enough to shoot down an unarmed chopper to create a distraction, probably killing even more non combatants.

Maybe he's being chased by other preds, because he broke their Code??.
Cool chapter, see ya!.
Comments from author:
Well thank-you for explaining a few things to me...I've only watched the first two Predator films so everything will be taken from there.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [20 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AllenPitt
Review:
I think it makes sense that Faith would react, there would be consequences to what she went through earlier, so the breakup with Brenda makes some sense. She's not very good at relationships. Meanwhile... SGC crossover coming up? Or maybe "predator"...
Comments from author:
Yep another 17 or 18 chapters coming up! I forgot to click the story completed button to m'No'.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [20 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)DeacBlue
Review:
Um, I liked almost all of the rest of the stories in this series, but this sucks. The mechanics of it are reasonable, but then you have several vignettes that, at best, seem to be tying up the loose strings of the series. At worst, they are all cliffhangers of one type or another, and one would have to assume that you accidentally hit the "complete" checkbox. But they aren't telling a story.

Added to all of that, you threw away the Faith/Brenda pairing, after investing a lot of time and effort, almost as an afterthought. I'd have to agree with my fellow reviewers that you could at least have foreshadowed this in your previous story.

I will say that you at least have Faith reacting to some extent to your previous story, and that's good, but there's not that much else that is.
Comments from author:
First, screwed up and didn't click the story completed button to 'no'. So, there's loads more of this story.

Second, if there's one thing I hate about doing this series is trying to explain the situation to knew readers. Also this chapter is actually about three chapters that I edited out because i didn't like it and I admit i don't think its one of my best Chapter Ones ever. Things however pick up in chapter two (I hope) so stick with it...please!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)DeacBlue] • Date [20 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from draconis
Review:
Mother of all premature/abrupt story endings.

And...that's how you deal with Faith and Brenda breaking up after a looooong history of them being together and all the effort that went into keeping them together in the series?

I'd think these kinds of things would be considered by someone in the military long before he or she started thinking about spaceships.....A missile impact that failed to detonate could show all those crash characteristics (including absence of fuel smell) noted by Faith. It also could have been a large practice bomb gone astray from a training exercise miles away, or even a practice or unarmed bomb accidentally dropped while being flown to/from the nearby base. Those kinds of accidents have happened.
Comments from author:
Screwed up with the story details so more to come.

Spaceship, yep maybe it was a bit premature in my defense maybe Faith has been reading sci-fi on those long night duties at Fort Shaw?

Will try better in chapter two.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [draconis] • Date [20 May 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from CPTSkip
Review:
This can't be the end! Great start, but what a horrible cliffhanger. Please write more. Was the blonde Buffy? But if it was, why didn't she recognize Faith? So many questions unanswered!

I did notice one spellin error. You wrote "from the long scare across the school sports" when I think you meant "from the long SCAR across the school sports".

I'm sorry Faith and Brenda didn't work out.
Comments from author:
Screwed up while posting the story is not over.

Scare/scar...yeesh! Just when you think you've got them all.

No Buffy in this one so the blonde is... well you'll have to see.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [20 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from BarbarossaRotbart
Review:
Good story, but why did you end her relationship with Brenda?
Comments from author:
Ending the relationship with Brenda was done after a great deal of thought. I needed to move Faith's military career on a bit and Mrs B might have held her back (I'm just an evil author!) and well I needed a more higher profile character as Faith significant other.

Brenda will pop in an out of these stories from time to time.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [BarbarossaRotbart] • Date [20 May 12] • Not Rated
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