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Blue Belle: Director's Cut

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Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from Jimbobob
Review:
I enjoy the scenes altered by the presences of Betsy and Rachel. I enjoy them far more than the previous versions. Better characters in my opinion.

Fun chapter.
Comments from author:
Betsy, you can do a lot with owing to her extensive history in the comics and many reinventions. Rae... possibly an INO here but given that she is pretty much the embodiment of branching alternate reality theory, you can get away with that. A butterfly flaps its wings and Rachel turns out different in your universe.
Review By [Jimbobob] • Date [10 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from Jaylynn
Review:
I guess I can understand being prepared but scott is still kind of quick to attack. Maybe this time he will learn to take in everything going on before attacking.
Comments from author:
Perhaps he was suffering from premature emanations? :)
Review By [Jaylynn] • Date [10 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from skychan
Review:
The line on breeding is just as good as ever. Absolutely splendid and I always enjoy your depictions of Emma.
I'm not too sad at your slower pace. Given my schedule for reading and the fact I generally transfer story to nook, to work, to read, review to nook and back to home before having a chance to send you a review builds in a certain amount of delay in my responses.
I am of course quite happy to see more of Emma's daughters. I think they don't get enough attention to them. It really is a shame that more people don't use them more often. What I'm interested in is that Emma didn't use the request from Xavier to extort him to do something she wanted to do anyway, without then having to deal with a second team wandering around town and interfering with whatever it is she wanted to get done. That and I'm looking forward to seeing how it all shakes out.
Comments from author:
Emma does have an egotistical, showy quality to her. It could be as simple (in-universe) as her wanting an audience for her triumphant recruiting run that nets them Cordelia and possibly one or more other mutants.

...from an author/reader perspective? I couldn't see Emma working with one of the other teachers nor could she get away with bringing a small army of teens. So two teams gets me more adult and teen feet on the ground in Sunnydale.
Review By [skychan] • Date [10 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from CrystalBlaze
Review:
I hope she rips him a new one (or more).
Comments from author:
Well, as Rae points out next chapter, they're the bone claws. Willow can execute stabbing and superficial scrape/slice attacks, but she's no Wolverine/X-23.

...yet.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [10 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from Stormguard
Review:
Ha! Way to throw a curveball!

Very nice chapter :D
Comments from author:
I do try to keep 'em coming, just so people won't get too complacent when leafing through a fic they've "already read before".
Review By [Stormguard] • Date [10 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from CrystalBlaze
Review:
A Stepford Cuckoo?

...yeah, they SO have individuality issues, practically at "Children of the damned" or "Childhood's End" levels.

The slight lost and dazed look Ivette sports once out of range of her sisters is a very, very good indicator. Had she a cerebro boost for the link, that wouldn't be on until they reached the muffling effect of the Hellmouth...
Comments from author:
As someone dating an identical twin? It's kinda weird all the way around. I can't even IMAGINE the two in my life acting like the Cuckoos, much less there being FIVE of them.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [10 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from Jimbobob
Review:
All caught up now. Time for the waiting game. The changes made so far to the story so far are pretty good.
I like the replacing of Jubilee. I've just never like her.

Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comments from author:
Next update is tomorrow, somewhere around 8PM. Then Chapter 14 on Saturday at the same time, although there might be a splattering of stories on an hourly basis with that mixed in if I can get stuff ready for the International Day of Femslash.

...still can't believe I'm on TVTropes.
Review By [Jimbobob] • Date [9 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from lillyb
Review:
great work!
Comments from author:
Thanks. :)
Review By [lillyb] • Date [8 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from Meneldur
Review:
Okay, I know I offered to beta bits of Brittany and Santana like you asked. Maybe I wasn't clear enough? Or do you want it in a PM?
Great chapter, again, flowing a lot better and the background info making it quite a bit more interesting.
I liked seeing Jean's team, though it's sad, because it means no rainbow vomit or emergency field vasectomy. Still, as a team it makes a lot more sense, as Jean explains. I would have loved to see Miriam slam a pan into Jean's idealistic head. Rachel and her comments were quite fun, and Betsy's comments make it even better. So they know about Emma leaving, but only thanks to Betsy. Jean should be embarrassed. And I love her dawning realization that Rachel sounds like a combination of her and Emma. About that, though - Rachel said "I won't even tell Mom who my father is to keep from messing with the timeline", but she has referred to Emma as mother... is that just because she thought Emma wouldn't catch on, or does it have to do with the different moral attitude Emma and Jean display (AKA, Emma wouldn't care/be happy, Jean would freak out)?
Is Ivette dazed because she's tired? Or is it something else?
Emma's plan seems to be just as well, with about the same chance of success. I liked how Remy and Julian are all about the girls, and of course Emma's final comment was priceless.
So Remy had a brawl at Willy's, and Buffy is as clueless as always. Business as usual. Since Buffy doesn't seem inclined to do anything about Willow, she apparently won't be a factor.
And so Emma' group got to Cordelia first, through a combination of tactics and abilities. Good enough. It seems more natural, without the forced seduction vibe and stuff, and Cordelia's snarky comments are excellent as always.

EDIT: No problem. I was just surprised you hadn't noticed, and wondered why that might be. Which you answered.
The part about Rachel is what I already thought, but doesn't actually answer my question... which is no doubt intentional.
I remain doubtful that the fight at the graveyard can be as good without John receiving an emergency field vasectomy, but on the other hand, I do trust your skills as a writer. So, I guess we'll see.
Comments from author:
Sorry! I was answering yours while on Skype with my sister; she lost power along with half a million others in Ohio and didn't have it for a week. I was coordinating check-ins to read email for her and her friends and stuff over speakerphone so they could keep in touch with people when Starbucks was closed and they couldn't take their laptops in. I'll definitely send the Glee stuff your way.

For Rachel, I adopted a pattern that two different friends with lesbian parent use: one woman is Mom, the other woman is Mother. Given her personality, I thought the more formal Mother was appropriate for Emma while Jean would be Mom. And of course, Rae continues to use 'father' in public discussion lest she give away the fact that 50% of the population is ineligible to be her parent.

Ivette... it's noted that the Hellmouth dampens and scrambles telepathy. What do you think that would do to the Five-in-One, especially with the others clear across the country.

And if you think the bit at the Bronze was good? Wait until we get to the fight at the graveyard.
Review By [Meneldur] • Date [8 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 01" from Jimbobob
Review:
Well. I was reading the original version after finding a link to it while lurking on TVTropes. Was at chapter '16' when I finally got curious enough with the spacer chapters to check what it was about.

Time to start reading the re-write. Fun story, by the way.
Comments from author:
I'm on TV Tropes now? Fascinating. o_O
Review By [Jimbobob] • Date [7 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from dwnstr
Review:
Wow, Rachel and Betsy with no John and Jubilee. That's got to be the biggest difference in the rewrite so far. Though I'm interested to see how the new characters interact, I'm gonna miss John's emergency field vasectomy.
Comments from author:
Well, John will appear later outside of the school and as long as I was shifting him up, I decided why not go two for two and change Jubilee as well?
Review By [dwnstr] • Date [7 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from Jaylynn
Review:
Evil way to end the chapter but that just means I was enjoying it too much before it stopped. XD 4 days is still pretty fast for updates so I have no complaints there. -is too quilty of not posting on mine to really have a foot to stand on, otherwise.- I'm also curious about the cast change since Logan isn't there this time but I'm assuming it's that whole butterfly flapping thing going on and just look forward to seeing where it goes.

Edit: Sorry I was meaning Scott but was thinking of Willows changes aswell an put the wrong person.
Comments from author:
Logan wasn't in the last version. The two groups were:
Team Xavier: Scott, Jean, Jubilee, John
Team Frost: Emma, Sophie, Julian, Remy
Review By [Jaylynn] • Date [7 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from Ancalador
Review:
Ok. My first question is "who the heck is Ivette Frost?" Unless they rescued more of the many-in-one the quint's names are: Celeste, Esme, Irma, Phoebe and Sophie. Anyways I am curious as to how you'll replace the previous graveyard get together without Scott putting Ministique out of action but I'm sure it will be good. Also I'm really looking forward to Rachel seeing all of this in person, assuming that it was important enough for her to know the details.

Keep up the good work
Comments from author:
Actually, it's a case of "well fuck, they stole my idea". Originally, the Five-in-One were supposed to spell out SPICE. Before Morrison could name the fifth Cuckoo on-page, he left the book and the next writer turned her into Mindee, his puppet for all things Cuckoo-related. Recently, Fraction (a fan of Morrison's) decided to resurrect that and for some reason yet to be explained, had Mindee abruptly reveal her name is ACTUALLY Irma, taking the group from SPMCE to SPICE as Morrison intended. I began using Ivette for a similar reason several YEARS before Fraction replaced Mindee with Irma, and I feel it actually fits the naming pattern better: it ends with an E like the others, while keeping the SPICE pattern.
Review By [Ancalador] • Date [7 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from CaptMcIntyre
Review:
Hey, been reading this for awhile, and have to say, definite improvement over the original! Keep up the good work!
Comments from author:
Pushing back to the four day schedule also means I have more time to tweak each chapter, and possibly write more per chapter.
Review By [CaptMcIntyre] • Date [7 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from CameronYoung
Review:
I would denounce the review incentives as gimmick-y and cheap, but 1 in 100 readers review so what do I know. As for the actual chapter; I don't know why you used one cuckoo and not the other, but I'm guessing you want a different personality for her.

Entertaining as always.
Comments from author:
Well, the odds of any given Cuckoo going are actually less than 20%; if each girl votes for herself, there's a five-way tie and so you need to at least talk one other sister into supporting you if not a second sister so that it would be a 3-2 victory if the two remaining sisters formed a voting bloc. The change merely represents the random chance inherent in the five of them fighting over who gets to be the one.
Review By [CameronYoung] • Date [7 Jul 12] • Not Rated
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