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Devil's daughter

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Review of chapter "Cryptic prophecies and court dates" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Ooookkkaaay, interesting chapter. I will be waiting to see where this goes next.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [17 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Cryptic prophecies and court dates" from mfung
Review:
Son of a champion - Not Robin, so Connor?
Comments from author:
Don't state the email in any review
Review By [mfung] • Date [17 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Cryptic prophecies and court dates" from djhardim
Review:
Interesting

native of a nation twice hit by the wrath of Apollo' - Someone from Japan.

Also Buffy the prophecy mentioned something about someone you harassed whose parents died - Faith
Comments from author:
Thanks, think outside the box for the second one and remember Buffy was a bitch at her old High School before she was called.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [16 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Cryptic prophecies and court dates" from Cmiller
Review:
still confused... also wanting to know who it was Buffy harrassed that lacks parentals.

can't wait for more.
Review By [Cmiller] • Date [16 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from seawurm
Review:
I have to say that I am rather curious to see where you are taking this story. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Good job!
Review By [seawurm] • Date [15 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from (Current Donor)vladt
Review:
very good start to your tale. thanks for the read.
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [13 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
This gets better and better, things are now going to get...interesting.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [13 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from Oxnate
Review:
To quote the Style Guide: "Prophecies: Treat them like they did in the show - i.e. Have your characters talk about them, rather than spell out the text of the prophecy word-by-word, and then immediately have your characters accurately interpret every single line and discover - shock horror - that it gives a complete list of each character you've introduced and specifies their exact role in defeating the big-bad."

Your prophecy is heavy handed and unnecessary.

To quote Buffy, "I hate prophecies."

I'd give you a 5 without the prophecy. But glad to see you got a Beta. Much cleaner writing.

EDIT: I don't care what the prophecy says or how it should be interpreted. Prophets are poor story tellers. So just tell the story.
Comments from author:
Way off the prophecy leaves many doors open and I use a trick in the language of the prophecy to leave multiply interpretations, also I said this was not the complete prophecy meaning that it while have more confusion before it becomes clear. As for the quote lets just say Buffy will have a reason to hate this no no matter how I choose to use one part of it.

I know, I just use it as a Macguffin. Its not meant to tell any part of the story its more of a tool to focus attention
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [13 Jun 12] • Rating [3 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from AllenPitt
Review:
Perfect death. Sounds like Elektra alright. Darn, what a strange set of parents that gives her. And Matt knows Angel is a vamp, but not that he's helped Faith. That could be a problem. Meanwhile... I'm sure he can get Faith out on some technicality, but... she did kill several people -the prof. of archaeology is the worst, that was a straight 'hit' for hire. The deputy mayor, sure, accidental. The guy at the airport, well, he was a bad guy anyway.
I assume the Hand will be coming after her? And Matt doesn't know she's a slayer yet... could be fun. ... I can't blame Cordelia for being mean about it, elbow to the face and all that.
Comments from author:
It's what the Hand call her. Not really, they dated for awhile before they got into the hero/villain communities.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [12 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from jormunguard
Review:
Good update. I tend to agree with the other commenter, the prophecy is a little heavy handed, but its confusing enough to get us guessing. Only real problem I see is that there are a couple small spelling errors, that may not have been caught by a spell check.
You have:
"One in a situation that is a case of mistaken identity. The other is just her word, and the fact no psychological evaluation was done means that she never should have never received that particular charge in the first place." Matt said.
Problem: The second line is a double negative, you're pretty much saying that she should have received that charge. You might either want to remove on of the "never" or replace the second with "ever".
The only other error I saw was this:
Angel turned to Wesley "Any ideas as to how he can sense me, but not the having be sense him?" He asked.
Problem: I think you meant "me sense him" rather than "be sense him"
Overall a good update, other than those two errors and it being a little short still good job.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [12 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from Cmiller
Review:
Oh... please don't pair Faith with Robin romantically, it is way... to Oedipus like for Robin Wood to be with ANY Slayer. Also Loved Daredevil giving the Fang Gang some food for thought... though your prophecy confused me so good job on that.

Look forward to more and may I reitereate please no Faith/Robin romance... I could see a big brother/little sister type relationship but he's at least a decade older than her plus you have her what 17-18 in this?
Comments from author:
Wrong son of a champion
Review By [Cmiller] • Date [12 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prophecy of the beast and more revelations" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Interesting in a world-building sort of way, but still inconclusive.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [12 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Family reunion" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I'm liking your "what if."
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Revelations" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Yeah, the whole being a minor and having been attacked that night play into the the defense. I hope he can get the confession dismissed as he suggests.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [5 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Family reunion" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Okay interesting development, and great chapter!
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [5 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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